Part 14 (1/2)

”Is the slave of Wanmdi Hota any different than the slave of another warrior?” Gray Eagle asked. ”A slave is a slave, Wanhinkpe Ska, and a bad one must be punished. I must do this. She has left me with no other choice this time. This is the punishment for her many deeds of rebelion. Can I treat her any differently than I would another? Do you think I can walk before the others in honor if I say I cannot punish this ska wayakayuha because I, Wanmdi Hota and son of a chief, wants and loves her as a man does a woman? I cannot yield to my enemy!” he retorted hotly.

”Yes, you are the chief's son and our leader while he is away. You have the power to withhold her punishment and give no reasons,” White Arrow spoke sharply to him.

Gray Eagle's head jerked in White Arrow's direction and he glared at his best friend. He was alarmed at the tone in his voice and the angry expression on his face. ”I would not have to give any reason. They would see and know why I do this. Can I say to them that we must hate the wasichu when I myself love one? Can I say to them that we must drive them from our lands and forests and then keep and protect one in my own teepee? A leader cannot speak one way and then live another. I must show my people I am strong and true to my teachings.”

”You must find some way to do this for her and yourself. You are wise, my koda. Think upon this thing. Find some way to save and help her, and stil hold on to your honor. You must!”

”She has disgraced me before my people,” Gray Eagle ”She has disgraced me before my people,” Gray Eagle insisted. ”She has taken my trust in her and cast it aside in contempt. It is past time for her to show respect to me. As was her dishonor before my people, so wil be her punishment. They wil al see and know it is Wanmdi Hota who rules his teepee, not his ska kaskapi. I have spoken and it shal be.”

”It shal be, my koda. But first, I must tel you this. For the second time, I feel the fingers of warning touching my spirit. I hear the voices speak to me once more. I have felt and heard this warning about her before. I felt it the night you took her to the teepee sa. I felt it when you refused to heed my warning about a guard for her when we left two moons ago. Now, I feel it again when you declare her punishment as the icapsinte. Heed me wel, for I feel the chiling fingers brush my mind. I feel the wind from the wings of the black bird of death around me. I fear for her life, my koda. Must it be this way?”

Gray Eagle looked confused and bewildered by his words and asked, ”I do not see your meaning, Wanhinkpe Ska. How can there be danger of death in my actions? I do not wish to kil her. I wil control the apa myself. I do not seek great pain or death from her. I only seek the saving of my face. In time, she wil forget and accept that this was as it had to be. Do not let your heart blind your reason, Wanhinkpe Ska. You know it * must be.”

White Arrow studied the words of Gray Eagle and knew they were true. There was no way out for either of them. If only he had heeded my warning, he thought, this would not be happening. I should have pressed harder when I felt those strange feelings haunting me. But that moon is gone and cannot be re-lived ...

White Arrow gazed into the pale, tense face of Alisha and agreed, ”Yes ... it must be as you say, but it wil bring much agreed, ”Yes ... it must be as you say, but it wil bring much unhappiness and pain to both of you. I wil not go against your words, my koda.”

Alisha instinctively sensed that something was gravely wrong. White Arrow's empathy reached out to her like a lifeline and puled at her. It appeared to her as if they were arguing about something which disturbed her friend greatly. The troubled looks he gave her and the tone of his voice warned her of some coming danger. It was clear Gray Eagle had the upper hand in the argument. She had seen White Arrow bow in submission to Gray Eagle's words, as she had done so often herself. However, White Arrow's submission looked reluctant.

Perhaps my fate is far worse than I imagined, she thought. Even Wanhinkpe Ska cannot accept it. What could possibly be so terrible that he could do to me to cause my friend to go against Wanmdi Hota in order to help me? She watched the two very closely as they argued. She noted Gray Eagle's victory and White Arrow's unwiling surrender.

Gray Eagle started to move forward again. She reached out and touched White Arrow's arm, gazing tenderly into his jet eyes. ”I sense you plead mercy for me, my koda. I do not know how to make you understand how much that means to me. I wish I knew the words to thank you for al you have done and for your friends.h.i.+p. I know he would not listen to you. He wil have his way. My destiny now lies in his hands. If it is death, then we cannot stop him or change his mind. Perhaps it is time for it to be over...”

She smiled up into his face and gently touched his cheek with her fingertips. ”Good-bye koda. May we both find the peace and happiness we search for.” She turned to folow Gray Eagle, leaving White Arrow standing there and staring after her. White Arrow standing there and staring after her. Within a few feet, White Arrow caught up with them and walked along with his friend. He asked Gray Eagle what Alisha had just said to him. Looking straight forward, Gray Eagle repeated her words to White Arrow. The brave was touched and moved by her kindness and understanding.

White Arrow was concerned about the lack of vitality in Alisha's eyes and voice. Her wan face and the darkened patches beneath her eyes told him of her weakened condition and loss of spirit. He had said he would not plead with Gray Eagle again, but he knew he must. ”I wil ask you only once more, Wanmdi Hota, do not do this thing. She is weak and it is wrong. She has also felt the warnings of danger and death. I hear this in her words and voice. If she lives, she wil turn from you forever.”

Gray Eagle stared straight ahead in troubled, brooding silence before he answered. ”As she has said, her destiny lies within my hands, and her life, too. This is a part of it. As with the great landslides, she has pushed the first rock down the hil and I cannot change its path. As it travels, it gathers more trouble with it and creates much havoc and often pain and death. For once, Wanhinkpe Ska, the great and daring warrior Wanmdi Hota is powerless.”

White Arrow walked away and could not look at her again. It took many long, painful steps to reach the ceremonial lodge to get the apa for the icapsinte. When he had the apa in his hands, he trembled with the desire to cast it into the fire and destroy it. He lowered his head, but could not pray. How could he pray for the right thing to be done when it would cause such harm and hurt to the one he loved? And yet, he could not pray for something to happen to his friend to prevent the harm and hurt. happen to his friend to prevent the harm and hurt. Alisha silently trailed behind Gray Eagle as he made his way between the rows of teepees in each circle. They encountered many curious, bewildered stares along their way. He led her to the center of camp to the very posts Ben and the others had died at. It seemed like ages ago now to Alisha. She thought, so my time has finaly ended here as I always knew it must.

Time ceased to move. She felt suspended between minutes ...

waiting ... for what or why or whom, she did not know. Surely not for rescue, for she could no longer hope for that. She halted in mid-thought. She stiffened and what little color was left in her ashen face quickly drained. White Arrow was standing before them with a whip grasped tightly in his strong hands. Surely this was not the terrible punishment they had argued over. With mounting alarm and disbelief, she realized it was. She had seen men whipped for crimes in the streets of London. Never had she witnessed a woman's flogging. She vividly recaled the damage and pain the lash inflicted on its victim. She knew men had died from flogging. Why and how could he do this to her?

His beating at her fortress flashed before her mind's eye. Does he seek revenge on me for his las.h.i.+ng, after al this time? she thought desperately. I had nothing to do with his whipping. Didn't he see I tried to stop it? I had nothing to do with any of his abuse or evil treatment. Why does he wish to do these terrible things to me?

There must be some mistake.

She turned panicked, emerald eyes to him and studied his handsome, rigid face and icy eyes. She was horrified at what she read there. Sarcasticaly, she asked, ”Am I to be beaten to death or only properly punished for the terrible crime of fleeing from Hel itself?”

itself?”

He did not acknowledge her question or the fact that she had even spoken. He bound her ankles to the posts with heavy rawhide thongs. ”Somehow, I fear you aren't trying to only frighten me. I think you realy intend to flog me. Or do you seek my life this time?'

she asked fearfuly. ”I believed I had seen and felt the heights of your hatred and brutality, but I was so wrong. There is no limit to them, is there? Wanmdi Hota, the great and fierce Oglala warrior who thrives on the blood of his enemies,” she threw the stinging accusation at him, his name spoken with contempt and her tone filed with sarcasm. He tried to ignore both her tone and words, but could not. He flinched inwardly at each.

It was as if she had been wearing blinders which had suddenly been ripped off. Her situation was revealed to her with crystal clarity. She had been dreaming and fooling herself al along. She had never realy had any chance of a future here with him, nor any chance of happiness, let alone life. Her future was as grim and black as her past had been since the day she first met him. How could I have been so blind and stupid? she raged against herself. How could I have thought for one minute that things would ever be any better or different between us?

She spat at him, ”I shal pray to both our G.o.ds that today wil finaly end this tragic farce. My death should be swift and final. I wil welcome it. It has been too long in coming. Why did I not see long ago this was the only way to realy be free from you and this life you have chained me to?”

Reality caught her heart in a crus.h.i.+ng vise. The pain was almost too great for her to bear. She lifted misty, green eyes skyward and prayed softly, ”I beg you to hear and answer this prayer. Have mercy on me this day. Please let him kil me and free prayer. Have mercy on me this day. Please let him kil me and free me from this life of torment. Please don't alow me to pa.s.s another day here in this savage land as his captive. Take my life and spirit out of his reach forever. Please, G.o.d, let me flee him in death. Free me from his hold and curse forever. I beg you to hear and grant me this prayer. Have I not suffered enough for my sins?”

She lowered her head dejectedly to the post. Her eyes fel on Gray Eagle as he was binding her ankles to the post. Her gaze captured his and for once, he was the one who could not look away.

”This day, Wanmdi Hota, you wil regret above al others...”

A cold s.h.i.+ver ran over his body as she spoke the very words he had used when he discovered her escape. An omen-he feared to ask of what. ”... if you do this evil thing. G.o.d forbid that I should live, but if I do, I wil hate you forever and never forgive you. Never! I wil die cursing the day I met you and your evil. You chose to show no mercy or understanding. You chose to have a heart of stone. You are blinded by hate and vengeance. You chose to shut me out of your life and to reject me in every way. Now, you must choose to end it al with my death. I could have loved you with al my heart. I could have accepted you as a man, and perhaps made you forget I am white and an enemy.”

Tears clouded her vision and emotions threatened to constrict her throat, but she continued with the words which had to be said. For once, she had to face her feelings. She could no longer deny them. Soon, it would be too late. Everything seemed to fal into place-al, that is, except Gray Eagle's role in her life and fate. How could she explain or understand his type of cruelty and hate?

”Your heart and mind is too ful of evil to see what you give up. If only there was some reason for al of this, I could accept my up. If only there was some reason for al of this, I could accept my fate and die in peace. I can find none. Is there ever a reason for hate and murder? That first day I saw you, Horace warned me I would live to regret my actions. He was right, but not for the reasons he thought. That first day I saw you, I lo...”

She ceased speaking to herself as she became aware of many voices and laughter behind her. She turned her head to see what was going on. Many of the Indians from his tribe were standing only a few yards back. She mistakenly thought they were talking, laughing and waiting for her punishment and death. They were there at the request and order of their leader to witness her punishment only.

Despair crossed her ashen face and her eyes riveted quickly back to him in disbelief and betrayal. She fought hard to control a fresh flood of tears which threatened to spil. She vowed, I wil not cry! I wil not cower before him or his people. She prayed once more, ”G.o.d grant me the power to stay silent... no matter what he does to me. Do not let me cry out or plead for mercy. Take my voice away if I cry. Help me end this with honor. Please, do not let me cry...”

With a great and difficult effort, she swalowed several times to force the lump from her throat and chest. She clamped her teeth tightly together to prevent any pleas from escaping and to stil her trembling lips and chin. She told herself over and over, do not cry...

do not plead... ever...

White Arrow stepped before her line of vision. Their eyes met and locked and they spoke without words. She braved a last, sad smile to the only friend she had found in the Indian camp. For a brief moment, her gra.s.sy eyes had their old sparkle of life and innocence. Just as quickly as it had appeared, it vanished, to be innocence. Just as quickly as it had appeared, it vanished, to be replaced by her heart's pain.

His somber, ebony eyes scanned her features as if he memorized them for a last time. Perhaps he did. ... He unwilingly handed the whip to Gray Eagle and looked at her once more. In his tongue, he whispered, ”May the Great Spirit and your G.o.d protect you today, Pi-Zi Ista.” He smiled into her eyes and gently stroked her ivory cheek with his hand, then walked away slowly. Gray Eagle flinched at her parting words to White Arrow, ”Would that I had met and loved you first, my koda .. .” She watched him depart, knowing he could not and would not watch this deed.

White Arrow was mumbling to himself as he walked away. His mind was in a maelstrom. Wanmdi Hota is a fool! He does not see it is not only the girl he wil punish this day, but himself too for loving and wanting her. Would that she were mine...

Alisha closed her eyes, refusing to look at the people again. She did not want to see their stares and looks.

She heard the rich, deep voice of Gray Eagle speaking to his people. He was teling them the charges against her and what the punishment for her deeds would be. He announced five strokes of the apa. He came to her and with a swift jerk tore her garment down the back to her waist. He took his place behind and slightly to the side of her. He shook the coiled whip loose in his grasp. She stiffened in dread and fearful antic.i.p.ation.

Gray Eagle flexed his fingers on the whip handle and tightened his grip as he stared at the snowy, smooth back before him. He hesitated a moment as she turned her head in his direction. She glared into his flinty eyes, letting him feel her anguish. That look would haunt him for a long time to come. Many nights, he would would haunt him for a long time to come. Many nights, he would awaken seeing that last painful expression of betrayal, pain and shattered love.

She turned her face back to the post and rested her forehead on it. She clasped her fingers tightly together and closed her eyes. She clamped her lips shut. She tried to mentaly prepare herself for what was shortly to come. She tensed al the muscles in her body and inhaled deeply several times. She prayed once more for the courage and strength to remain silent and die in dignity and honor. She determined she would not beg or scream, no matter what he did or how much it hurt.

The whip uncoiled and struck like a viper, biting into her soft, tender flesh and jarring her entire body. The searing pain swept through her body so forcefuly she nearly fainted. It was far worse than she had ever imagined. No one could prepare himself for something like this. How many such lashes could one endure before death or insanity?

Another lash was delivered with such stunning force she lunged into the wooden post. She instantly saw bright stars before her eyes and her ears hummed. Her jaw was aching from her tight restraint on it. She stiffened her sagging body and gripped her fingers more tightly together, unaware the whip would bite deeper and harsher into taut flesh. Her respiration was coming in short, labored rasps.

Another snap of the whip and more excruciating agony. How could she possibly endure this much longer and keep silent? How could she not beg and plead for mercy? Would he continue this abuse until she yielded and screamed for the mercy he might not even grant? Perhaps he intended to beat her until she was dead or horribly disfigured. She prayed not. She preferred death!

horribly disfigured. She prayed not. She preferred death!

Do not yield this time, Lese! she begged herself. Either he must stop because he wishes to or he must kil you. He wil be solely responsible for his choice. Keep silent!

Her back throbbed and flamed like a sheet of fire. She was living a nightmare to which there was no awakening. Waves of nausea flooded her and she fought for control. Blood pounded in her ears. Stil, the brutal flaying continued...

The muscles in her back twitched with pain. It was as if someone was cutting them out with a hot knife one by one. Another lash whistled through the air and landed with a jolt. She teetered between reality and unconsciousness. She had not even felt the minor pain in her lip where she had unknowingly bitten it. Blood trickled down her chin. She felt the warm, sticky blood. She tasted metalic blood. She saw fiery, red blood. Her vision began to blur red, then black, then red and black over and over. She clamped her teeth fiercely onto her hand to suppress a scream. Silence! Silence! her mind commanded again and again to her mouth. Do not yield to him again!

She sagged against the post, losing count of the lashes. Blood flowed down into her eyes and coursed down her ashen face. On the last lash, she had uncontrolably arched backwards with the impact of the whip, then forward, slamming her forehead into the post. A humming, ringing sound from far, far away filed her ears. She would never know it was partly the sound of people's voices joined in praise of her bravery and endurance, for to endure such pain and suffering in silence and bravery was greatly honored. The agony was now unbearable, but no sound would come forth to help release the tension in her painracked body. It was as though she had wiled herself mute.