Part 5 (1/2)
”I liked it better when you were a fairy changeling,” said Moth as the scenery s.h.i.+fted yet again.
”That was six drafts ago,” Mustardseed reminded him.
”Besides, how could she be a fairy changeling, stupid?” asked Cobweb. ”She doesn't have wings!”
”Don't call me stupid, half-wit.”
”Being a fairy changeling just didn't feel right,” said Bertie. ”This is my story, and I'll edit it however I please. It's more romantic to travel in a caravan. So shut up!”
”The Mistress of Revels did not immediately take me to the Theatre, as she'd promised my mother,” she continued. ”No, along the way I learned to dance and sing and tumble-”
”When ye were six months old?” Nate interjected.
”After that,” Bertie hedged.
”Oh, aye, when ye were nine months old.”
”The journey,” Bertie said over him, ”was fraught with danger.”
The caravan began to cross the stage.
”They hit a pothole!” shouted Moth.
The caravan hit a pothole with a ma.s.sive thump and the screech of protesting wood. The rear wheel on the downstage side of the cart rolled into the orchestra pit.
”Then the horses stampeded and drove over Verena with their big, metal-shod hooves!” added Mustardseed.
The horses leapt forward and flattened the Mistress of Revels against the floorboards.
”They were set upon by brigands!” yelled Cobweb.
Two dozen extras dressed as highwaymen leapt from the catwalks onto the stage, brandis.h.i.+ng swords and twirling their moustaches.
”And then the caravan burst into-”
”No!” Bertie interjected before they needed a fire extinguisher. ”No flames! Absolutely nothing caught on fire or exploded. Stop it, right now. You know how I feel about you sticking things into my narrative!”
Verena cleared her throat. ”Excuse me, but about the brigands-”
Bertie shook her head. ”There were no brigands!”
The group in question looked at each other, and their leader sidled to the edge of the stage. ”What do you want us to do, then?” he said in a loud whisper.
”Shove off!” Bertie said. ”You were never supposed to be here in the first place.”
”All we want is a few minutes of stage time!”
”Fine, then. Have it your way.” Bertie raised her voice and pretended to read, ”The brigands met a terrible fate at the hands and feet of the Mistress of Revels, for though she didn't look it, she was a black belt in jujitsu.”
Cobweb laughed as Verena landed a series of flying side kicks. ”I don't think you've ever used that line before.”
”Violence makes for good theater,” Bertie said. ”Now, while there were no brigands, no potholes, no stampedes, and certainly nothing burst into flames, the journey was still fraught with danger. Near the city limits, Verena took sick with a Mysterious Ailment.”
”Dying makes good theater, too!” That was Mustardseed. ”Is she going to die?”
”Now you've ruined the surprise!” Cursing mightily, Bertie jumped from the stool and glared at the fairies. ”You all had better shut your pieholes until I'm done with this scene, or so help me, I'll never steal you another snack cake as long as you all shall live.”
There was no back talk this time, just the sound of crickets chirping.
Satisfied, Bertie cued the last scene change. The caravan approached a wooden flat painted to look like the facade of the Theatre. The Mistress of Revels descended slowly, carrying a basket.
”She left me on the doorstep of the Theatre,” Bertie said, ”with only a note and my mother's best intentions.”
”Dear Sir or Madame,” Verena intoned. ”I entrust this child to you. Her name is Beatrice Shakespeare Smith, and her destiny lies within this theater.”
Bertie flapped her hand at her. ”Just leave me on the doorstep already.”
The Mistress of Revels nodded before setting the basket against the door.
”Blackout!” the fairies called, and the lights obeyed. ”Curtain down!”
Nate's voice drifted out of the darkened auditorium. ”I liked that version, especially th' bit wi' th' thieves.”
Bertie stowed the prop copy of The Book backstage and lifted the Stage Manager's headset. ”House lights up, please.”
”I was just thinkin',” Nate said, ”about how yer mother is out there, somewhere. Mayhap now's th' time t' seek her out.”
While his tone didn't challenge her, his words certainly did.
”I could wander forever and never find her.” Bertie looked to the back of the auditorium, at the faint phosph.o.r.escence of the Exit sign as she went to join the others.
”But if ye stay here-”
”Not 'if' I stay. I'm staying.” She offered Nate her hand and heaved him to his feet. ”So that when my mother comes looking for me, I'll still be here to find.”
CHAPTER FIVE.
Sedition Amongst
the Ranks
Bertie looked up at Nate through the blue fringe of her bangs. ”Will you help me?”