Part 5 (1/2)
Afra kept his expression fixed but he knew. He flicked his gaze away, unsure of his continued control.
What the h.e.l.l is happening down there? asked the Rowan with a tinge of her familiar irritation. Why... ?
And then, in violation of all her own rules, she was there, standing in the middle of the room. She flicked a quick glance to Afra who jerked his head in the direction of Jeff Raven.
Deneb stepped to her side and gently touched her hand.
'Reidinger said you needed me.' Reidinger said you needed me, the words rang through Afra's mind like bells. He watched closely as the Rowan reacted. Well inside his s.h.i.+elds, half-ecstatic, half-destroyed, Afra thought: Give her the care she needs! Give her what she will not take from me!
And then the two Talents left, making their way up the stairs to the Rowan's once lonely Tower. Afra broke the awed silence of the other station crew by grabbing a cake from the box in Ackerman's motionless hand.
Eyes watering with the conflicting emotions that tore at him, Afra called out: 'Not that that pair needs much of our help, people, but we can add a certain flourish and speed things up!' Over the next few days Afra spent his free time adjusting to the fact that he no longer needed to worry or hope that the Rowan might one day come to him for more than verbal comfort. Then he recognized, with growing anxiety, that despite all his hopes and fears the Rowan was stuck in a terrible limbo: loving but unable to be in the arms of her lover. Jeff Raven had shown that Prime Talents could cross the void of s.p.a.ce without the terrible disorientation that Siglen's travel trauma had imposed on all her charges but the Rowan still had to conquer that imposition in herself.
Afra was delighted, if exhausted, when the Rowan awoke him early one morning to demand his aid in overcoming the neurosis. As much as he wanted to help her immediately, he recommended that she rest first and start the new attempt the next morning.
With two hours before Callisto cleared Jupiter's shadow and the station could begin its workday, Afra gently nudged the Rowan's capsule out, using his gestalt with the station generators to push it slowly into a Mars...o...b..t.
Afra was delighted when he heard the Rowan's sour comment.
I can't just sit here in the cradle You're not, you know, he told her. You're hovering near Deimos.
She panicked and Reidinger screamed at him but it was worth it.
Afra was sure that in time he could help her break her fear for he perversely determined that, now she had found her mind-mate, she was going to be free to be with him on Deneb.
When Afra brought her capsule back to the station and palmed open its door, he took her hand and pumped her energy levels back up. He was careful to get his s.h.i.+elds back up before she could read him: not just because he did not want her to know his plans but also because he still was not completely sure of his emotions.
You don't need to treat this as so commonplace an occurrence, you know, she said with some asperity Why not? It should be! He returned with a smug grin.
She pinched him. Yaw! He sidled away from her.
His pleasure was short-lived, however. The next morning, when the Rowan thought of going to Earth, he balked.
'We've got some pretty heavy stuff to s.h.i.+ft,' he warned her. But she glared at him and Afra found himself wondering if he could endure her during the necessary adjustment period. The Rowan told the staff they could prepare for the day's work without him or her, then glared at him.
'I want to go back to Deimos again. Now!' 'As you wish.' Afra gave in gracefully. Gently he pushed her back out close to Mars' largest moon.
Is Earth visible from this position? she asked him.
He rotated the capsule and told her how to use the controls to get a magnified view of Earth and its Moon.
But the blackness was too much for her and, the moment he caught the explosion of fear, he yanked her back.
Easy, Rowan! he said, soothingly. But her reactions were so strong that they disturbed Jeff Raven way out on Deneb.
Scared me half to death, you did! Raven told her.
Jeff, Afra replied with some fear of reproach, she's all right.
Afra added to the strength of his response by initiating a metamorphic ma.s.sage to the Rowan to reduce her tension. Inwardly he was angered: what was blocking her so much? Was he trying to inhibit her? Was he rus.h.i.+ng her in order to threaten her resolve? Afra detested even the thought that such petty jealousies could lurk in his heart.
I want her to be happy, he told himself sternly. I will be happier if the Rowan is happy.
The day pa.s.sed uneasily, with Afra walking a tightrope for fear of setting the Rowan off. But she worked more like an automaton, neither jocular nor snappish. They were just closing down the board for the day when an emergency cargo signal came through.
Some Fleet nerd to judge by the ID -- Brian Ackerman started sourly. Silence spread among the rest of the crew until Afra turned to the personal capsule. Jeff Raven stepped out, tossed everyone a jolly salute and charged up the Rowan's Tower two steps at a time.
'There's nothing on this list we can't handle ourselves!' Afra exclaimed, thrusting the cargo manifest back into Ackerman's outstretched hand. 'Get those generators back on line!' 'But, Afra-' Ackerman began pleadingly.
'No buts!' Afra's yellow eyes burned hot. 'We will not disturb them.' He gestured peremptorily around the control room. 'Have Mauli and Mick report here, they've worked with me before.' 'Yes, but only when the Rowan was in gestalt, too,' Ackerman complained.
Don't task me, Brian, Afra snapped back, his normal aplomb shaken enough that he 'pathed. He jerked his head in silent apology, adding aloud: 'We owe them this much.' Ackerman sighed deeply, nodded in agreement. He turned to the others standing around the control room.
'You heard the man, people! We've got work to do!' He grinned conspiratorially at the tall Capellan.
'Just don't try to resign because I'm bullying you!' Afra teased, waggling a finger.
'Wouldn't dream of it!' Brian responded heartily. 'Now, here's the first load 'That's the last load,' Brian said, handing the datasheets to the Capellan. 'Afra? The last load.' 'Oh? Yeah,' Afra looked up wanly, limply taking the sheets. Beyond him, Mauli and Mick reeled slightly in their seats. He walked over to them slowly.
'Mauli? Mick?' He looked down at them. 'Last one.' The twins slowly rose to their feet, swaying. Afra grabbed their hands, apologizing.
'Tactile contact will make it easier.
Fortunately it was a small cargo lighter. Afra suspected that Brian had saved it especially. With a great effort the three heaved the empty s.h.i.+p back to Earth orbit.
Hey! Watch it! Reidinger swore, steadying the tumbling s.h.i.+p as it popped into orbit just above the Earth's atmosphere. Any closer and you would have drenched Sri Lanka!
Afra ignored the comment, as they had done throughout the day in their contacts with Earth Prime. The excuse given out was that the Rowan was furious with Reidinger and not talking to him. The Rowan had never done that before but Afra was sure she would be amused by the ruse when he had a chance to explain it later.
'Afra-' -we can't do this again,' Mauli and Mick told them in their twin-speak.
Afra gave them a long searching look before he nodded rueful acceptance.
'We've got a pa.s.senger liner due through tomorrow, anyway, Ackerman confided, the next day's cargo manifest on his screen.
'You're beat, I'll tell the Rowan in the morning.
Afra shook his head. 'No, I will.' He looked around the control room at the exhausted crew. 'Thank you.' Then he went around the room, shaking the hands or patting the shoulder of each and every person.
'And please thank those outside who helped us today. I'm sure the Rowan will thank you, too 'They didn't do it for her,' Brian muttered under his breath. Afra did not hear him.
Afra knocked louder on the Rowan's door in his fourth attempt to rouse the pair the next morning. He had slept soundly but had woken quite early, nervously considering how to admit his weakness to the Rowan when Callisto Station had to go to work. There was that large pa.s.senger liner which, no way, could he and the twins 'port. He tried through the commsystem to rouse them again. No luck.
For a long time Afra stood at the door, fists clenched, breathing deeply as he considered the impropriety of the next logical act.
Finally, as softly as he could, he 'pathed to the two forms inside.
I do beg your pardons!
A series of emotions and feelings washed over him: restfulness, satiation Rowan! You're broadcasting -- He caught snippets of her rousing Jeff, his tired response as he told her it was his day off and her gentle admonition that yesterday had been his day off.