Part 24 (1/2)

TWENTY-SEVEN.

It turned out Baro was a great cook. He prepared several traditional dishes from Romania, some of which I hadn't tasted in years. He filled the table with saramura, stuffed peppers, a.s.sorted sausages, cabbage rolls and several soups and stews. And since Baro now considered himself an American, he even baked a turkey.

Everything I tasted was so incredibly delicious. The food was reminiscent of Redwood Forest, the gathering point for all gypsies. Regrettably, there had been no one in our troupe who enjoyed cooking very much and so I didn't often come across the chance to enjoy a meal like this. Since the performers were our cover and everyone else was talented in other areas, (robbery being the main area of expertise), we didn't have time for cooking and we ate on the road more often than not. Sometimes, it could be enjoyable. We were able to try a lot of foods from various cultures. But Baro's meal simply beat out all the rest.

Everyone at the table mostly just ate over dinner, with very light conversation. Thankfully, Molly didn't speak to me. In fact, she did her best to ignore me, pretending like I wasn't even in the room. I was fine with it. I wasn't up to trading barbs with her, anyway.

I was still reflecting on everything Baro had said to me earlier, wondering what danger lay in my future now that my memories were coming back. I desperately wished I could speak with Zetta. I was beginning to realize how much I had relied on her wisdom over the years. It was unsettling, not knowing what my future held. What if I didn't even have a future now?

I felt Gabe's hand reach for mine underneath the table. I turned to him, noticing his expression was as worried as my own.

”Are you okay?” he whispered so that no one else would hear. Everyone else's attention was currently turned to Cam, listening as he gave his opinions about the upcoming presidential elections.

”I'm fine,” I replied. I gave a small smile, trying to prove it.

”I was thinking that maybe you could move into the house. You know, for added protection. We have four empty bedrooms here and you can have your pick.”

I shook my head. ”Don't be ridiculous,” I told him. ”I'm only next door and within your line of vision.”

He didn't seem to approve of my reply, and told me so. ”It's still not close enough.”

”I'll be fine,” I a.s.sured him. ”Besides, I don't think we shouldn't worry until I start remembering everything.”

He sighed, a heavy sound. ”I saw what happened last time, Lo. I don't want to take chances this time around. I can't lose you again.”

I felt something flutter within the pit of my stomach. b.u.t.terflies, I'd heard it called that before. His determination to keep me and that fire growing within his typically cool eyes simply won me over.

And that's when I knew it couldn't go any farther than this. Gabe and I would never be together again. Sadly, I was steadily realizing that maybe we were never meant to.

I stared at him gloomily. He was truly beautiful. My eyes wandered over the strong lines of his jaw, his straight nose, his absorbing eyes. . .I wondered if this was the last chance I would ever have to view him so candidly.

After dinner, Baro invited me to play a game of poker with the rest of the family. I told him I was tired and I should probably go home. I hugged everyone goodbye, with the exception of Molly, and then Gabe walked me back to Miriam's house.

We were both quiet as we walked along the beach. Our sandals sank into the silky sand, causing the walk to take longer than if we had chosen to stroll along the gra.s.s. Gabe held my hand securely in his. Again, I found myself wondering if it belonged there.

”Gabe, there's something I need to say to you.”

He stopped, turning to face me. ”What is it?” he asked.

”I want you to marry Annika.”

There. I said it.

The words were out of my mouth and I could never take them back.

A flash of pain struck in his gaze, but it quickly disappeared, overshadowed by something else. I couldn't read him. I had no idea what he was thinking.

Suddenly, Gabe grasped both of my arms and drew me towards him. His hands ran up the sides of my arms until he reached my neck. Then he drew me completely against him, tilting me backwards. A tingling sensation ran up the length of my spine, sending chills over my entire body.

I began to panic.

Was he about to kiss me? Did I even want him to kiss me? This was not exactly what I'd antic.i.p.ated might happen after telling Gabe that I wanted him to marry Annika.

With the gentlest touch, Gabe traced a finger across my jaw and then along my bottom lip. The warmth of his touch lingered along my skin even after he stopped.

”Tell me,” his voice was ragged as he whispered in my ear. ”How could you possibly want something like that?”

”I umm. . .” My train of thought was shattered.

The closeness of him, that clean, citrusy scent, his warmth, his hand across my back that kept me from falling- I didn't want to break away from any of it.

”Do you remember what it was like when we touched like this? Do you remember the fire that ignited between us?”

Though I could hear his words, I couldn't quite grasp what he was saying. He never did give me the chance to answer, anyway. The next thing I knew, he was leaning over me, his warm lips lightly touching mine. Touching quickly became tasting, and suddenly, it felt as if he were absorbing me completely.

He couldn't get close enough, and his hands became disheveled into my hair as he tried to pull me even closer to him. Gently, he prodded my lips open, surprising me for a split second by the way he invaded my mouth. I wasn't sure exactly when I became partic.i.p.atory in the kiss, but I began feeling an urgency that matched his. I clung to his arms, feeling the strong muscles beneath my grip, and matched his fervor with my own lips and tongue.

This must be pa.s.sion, I thought. And at that exact moment (because I had allowed room for thought in my muddled brain), I realized this should definitely not be happening. Before I lost my mind completely, I lifted my hands to the panes of Gabe's chest and shoved him with all my might.

He hardly even swayed. Annoyingly, he didn't even lose his footing. I think he only pulled away because I had confused him with my pus.h.i.+ng.

”You can't possibly tell me to marry someone else after experiencing that,” Gabe declared heatedly. We were both breathing heavily. ”And you can't tell me you don't love me,” he added. ”Because I know you do.”

I compelled myself to square my shoulders and stand my ground. As much as I hated this, I resolved to get through it.

”I do want you to marry Annika,” I said resolutely. ”This was a mistake. I should have never come here. My memories wouldn't have started to come back if I hadn't, and from the way everyone describes it, I've put the world in peril because of my remembering. So whatever this is, it stops now.”

He shook his head, refusing to believe what I was telling him. ”Lola, I can protect you. We'll find a way to make it through this. I swear it to you.”

”No,” I breathed.

I swallowed. I think I knew the words to say that would make him listen to me, but I was afraid of saying them- because it would be flat-out lying. But I was good at lying. It wasn't like I hadn't done it a million times before.

So why was it so hard to do it this time?

”Lola,” he pleaded with me. ”I was lost without you. And I know you were miserable without me, too. Why are you doing this?”

For you, I wished I could say. So you won't be unhappy anymore. And because Annika deserves you much more than I do.

But instead, I lied to him. ”Because I don't want it to be like the last time, Gabe. I don't want to commit suicide and I don't want to put everyone else at risk. If we just stop now, maybe the things I'm not supposed to remember will never come back to me. I'll go back to Zetta and let her curse me again. I'll stay near her, and hope it stays powerful. That way, no one's lives are at stake, including mine.”

I bit my lip, waiting for his reaction. I wondered whether or not he would buy it.

And then I saw the pain building in his eyes again. His expression was a stony mask, but I could see the truth there. I had hurt him. And more than anything else, I knew he wouldn't risk hurting me.