Chapter 43 - The Insecurities (1/2)
Chapter 43: The Insecurities
Translated by Shiya of Exiled Rebels Scanlations
Times of calm past by quickly, summer soon turned into autumn, and it was getting dark earlier in the day. Li Sui came home from work, the moment he walked through the door, he saw Lu Shang sitting in a wheelchair, reaching out for the book on the floor. Li Sui quickly walked over and crouched down to pick it up for him.
“You’re so early today.” Lu Shang heard the sounds and touched Li Sui’s hand.
Li Sui immediately held his hand back, he perceived that Lu Shang was a little cold, so he pulled his blanket up and said softly, “Aunt Lu is going back home, so I am afraid you might be bored at home alone.”
Lu Shang replied, “Hmn,” then added, “Don’t postpone your work.”
Li Sui couldn’t care less, he got up and walked towards the wheelchair. Li Sui put his hands on Lu Shang’s temples, pressing them gently, he asked: “Are you feeling better today?”
Lu Shang was comfortable with Li Sui massaging him, even his eyes squinted as he answered, “Hmn, much better.”
Last month was windy, Lu Shang went to a river to fish. It rained a little, and when he comes back, he caught a cold, and he had a high fever for a few nights. Li Sui was naturally angry and anxious, he was afraid that Lu Shang won’t take his medicine on time, so he especially took work off. Li Sui stayed at home to take care of him for a few days, only returning to work after Lu Shang’s fever had gone down.
The past years were too smooth and peaceful, Lu Shang would sometimes forget that he was a chronically ill patient. It was as if this fever suddenly startled and woke all his diseases up, his immune system was obviously more fragile after the cold. Lu Shang wasn’t in good spirits, and the weight he just managed to put on were gone again in no time.
Uncle Yuen mentioned several times to hire a few caretakers to Li Sui, in case if anything happened to Lu Shang at home, someone would know immediately. Who knew that Lu Shang would be disgusted by the idea, he just said, “I have not reached that state yet.”
With that, Li Sui clammed up, and he never mentioned it again.
People always said that people with long-term illnesses tend to have odd tempers, on this point, though, Lu Shang was different. He was only extremely stubborn on this particular matter. Li Sui couldn’t change his mind on this, but it also didn’t feel right to force it against his will, he was too afraid that it would make him angry, so all he could do was to pay more attention.
When Dr. Leung came to check up on Lu Shang, his expression didn’t look good, but he did not say much either. He only told Lu Shang to reduce the number of movements, he advised controlling salt intake strictly. Li Sui couldn’t help but worry, although, in recent years, there weren’t any significant problems with Lu Shang’s heart, he was always concerned. Li Sui knew that no matter how carefully he took care of Lu Shang, whenever Lu Shang got sick, it would be much more serious than when ordinary people got sick. The main problem was his weak heart function, care alone wouldn’t cure it.
Li Sui massaged Lu Shang’s head for a bit more, then pushed him to the side of the fireplace, “What you want to eat tonight, I’ll make it for you.”
Lu Shang was about to open his mouth when Li Sui added, “Only light and blend food, though.”
So Lu Shang did not speak anymore, looking like he had completely lost interest in dinner. Li Sui thought about how Lu Shang only had plain porridge for almost the entire month, and he felt terrible, so he softened up, “I will make you a roasted fish.”
Lu Shang never objected to what Li Sui decided to make. Li Sui cleaned the fish, then with slices of ginger, the pickled the fish. After soaking the fish in sauce and spices, he put it into the oven. While Li Sui was busy with all that, Lu Shang turned to ask him, “What is Liu XinTian doing recently?”
“He’s been busy lately. He was working with a couple of old shareholders, I guess he can’t wait anymore.” Li Sui’s hands skillfully moved then abruptly stopped, “Oh yeah, he also visited Miss Meng’s residence a few days ago.”
Lu Shang froze slightly in surprise, “XinYou?”
Meng XinYou got married some years back, her husband was a young and talented politician, his surname was Xu. Of course, Liu XinTian wasn’t there to find Meng XinYou, but Mr. Xu, who was notorious for being sly. The Meng family had nearly 20% of Tong Yan shares, although those were premarital properties, with Meng XinYou’s rational personality, even Lu Shang was not sure which side she will be stand on.
This was indeed difficult, if Meng XinYou changed to support her husband, then they would lose a reliable ally. It could be said that Liu XinTian had caught onto their weakness this time.
“Stop thinking about it, eat something first.” Li Sui moved Lu Shang’s wheelchair to the dining table.
The roasted fish did not have hot sauce or salt in it, but the taste was delicious, the sauce had soaked well into the tender meat. Lu Shang could not see clearly, so Li Sui was afraid he would be choked by fishbones, he separated the fish into small pieces and fed him with a pair of chopsticks.
“Is it delicious?” Li Sui especially liked seeing Lu Shang eat the food he made, he always felt bliss when Lu Shang eats them.
Lu Shang nodded, though his thoughts were apparently not focused on the food. Lu Shang asked, “How’s your border project going?”
Speaking of that, a bit of regret flashed past Li Sui’s heart, “Small SiMa discussed it with me and decided to give up on foreign trade, we’re only taking in-country trade.”
Lu Shang was slightly surprised, “Why, once the project is done, you can immediately get a firmer stance in Tong Yan.”
Li Sui pulled out a piece of paper to wipe Lu Shang’s mouth, “Everything else was going fine, but we can’t bypass the customs, this needs the government’s approval. Liu XinTian is stopping that from happening, so it is complicated.”
Lu Shang went silent after listening.
“It doesn’t matter, we have other projects, it’s fine even if we don’t have this one, “ Li Sui said with a smile. He then changed the subject, “The Golden Sands Shore has finished construction and is almost ready for business. I am afraid at the end of this month, I’ll have to travel there, do you want to go with me?”
Lu Shang turned his head over from the silence, with a slight smile, he said, “Yes.”
In the evening, when Lu Shang had already fallen asleep, Li Sui walked to the balcony and dialed an unknown phone number.
In recent years, he expanded the search, even more, leaving contact information to almost all the places that helped people find a match for heart donors. Li Sui would ask once every few months, waiting for a miracle with his most pious of hearts. Sadly, his wish was never granted.
After dialing, Li Sui communicated with the person on the other end for a while, still only to get a depressing reply.
“I see, thank you.” Li Sui hung the phone up and sighed with his head down.
A door apart, the person in the bed was already deep in sleep, his pale cheek sank deep into the pillow. Li Sui looked through the glass balcony door, his eyes fell onto Lu Shang, softening his expression a little. At the same time, he could not help but feel a burst of sourness in his nasal cavity.
Li Sui always thought that no matter how bad a person’s luck was, as long as that person kept repeating the same task, a hundred times, a thousand times…… Then eventually, that person should succeed at least once, but no. The heavens seemed to have used up all his luck just for him to meet the man in front of him.
Sometimes he couldn’t help but think, if he could reverse time, he would rather not be with Lu Shang. Even if it was at the expense of his own life, he would want Lu Shang to have a healthy body. At least not like now, having to endure sickness all day, every day.
People who had never been ill would never know how difficult it was sick. There were a lot of things that Lu Shang would never say, nor reveal. However, Li Sui understood in his heart that Lu Shang had fears too, fear of pain, fear of bitterness, and fear of one day falling asleep and never wake up again. Whenever night falls, Lu Shang wouldn’t be able to see clearly with his eyes. At times like that, he tended to just sit quietly in his wheelchair. Sometimes when Li Sui look at him like that, he just couldn’t help but wonder, what was he thinking?
People often said that reasonable people would have good rewards. Li Sui found that to be sadly false, Lu Shang was the kindest person he had ever met after all.
Due to his body condition, Lu Shang wouldn’t go to the company anymore, all company matters were dealt with by Li Sui. Only occasionally when there were important decisions to make, would Li Sui take the work home, the two of them would discuss it together.
This day, after working-hours ended, Li Sui still hadn’t left the building. Li Sui was in the archives with Uncle Yuen, trying to find some old documents. Three years ago, when Li Sui took over handling Tong Yan, Lu Shang sent Uncle Yuen to Li Sui’s side, leaving only Xiao Zhao to help him drive.
The two of them were sorting through the documents when Uncle Yuen’s mobile phone suddenly rang.
The archives room was tranquil, and the two of them were not far apart, so it was easy to hear the voice from the other end of the phone. Li Sui heard a slightly familiar voice, so after Uncle Yuen hung up, Li Sui cast him a questioning look.
A touch of awkwardness appeared on Uncle Yuen’s face, he said apologetically, “Sorry, but I have to leave.”
Li Sui nodded, “If you have something to do, then go, I can find it myself.”