Part 17 (1/2)
Clara walked away from him across the stage. There had been muddles before, but nothing so bad as this.
As she walked, she found that in watching him she had learned the art of treading the stage, and of becoming that something more than herself which is necessary for dramatic presentation. This sudden acquisition gave her a delighted thrill, and once again her life was flooded with magic, so that this new trouble, like her old, seemed very remote, and she could understand Charles's pretending that he must end his life even to the point of attempting to buy a revolver, which became impossible directly some one spoke pleasantly to him. She felt confident and secure and of the theatre which was a sanctuary that nothing in the outside world could violate.
'Don't worry, Carlo,' she said. 'I'll see that it is put straight.'
'Then you'll come back and stop this nonsense about living alone?'
'When _The Tempest_ is done we'll see about it. I don't want to risk that. _The Tempest_ is what matters now.'
'Are you going to play in it?'
'I don't know yet.... Will you go out into the auditorium and tell me what you think of my voice?'
Charles went up into the dress circle, and Clara, practising her newly-acquired art, turned to an imaginary Ferdinand--more vivid and actual to her now--and declaimed,--
'I do not know One of my s.e.x! no woman's face remember, Save, from my gla.s.s, mine own; nor have I seen More that I may call men, than you, good friend, And my dear father: how features are abroad, I am skilless of; but, by my modesty,-- The jewel in my dower,--I would not wish Any companion in the world but you.'
She stopped. The vivid, actual Ferdinand of her imagination changed into the form of the lean, hungry-looking man of the book-shop. He turned towards her, and his face was n.o.ble in its suffering, powerful and strong to bear the burden upon the mind behind it. Very sweet and gentle was the expression in his eyes, in most pathetic contrast to the rugged hardness which a pa.s.sionate self-control had shaped upon his features.... Her heart ached under this astonishment that in this phantom she could see and know and love his face upon which in life her eyes had never fallen.
'Go on,' called Charles, from the dress circle.... 'Admirable.... I never thought you could do it.'
'That's enough,' she replied, with a violent effort to shake free of her bewilderment and sweet anguish.
'If I meet him,' she said in her heart, 'I shall love him and there will be nothing else.'
Aloud she said,--
'I must not.'
She had applied herself to the task of furthering Charles's ambition, and until she had succeeded she would not yield, nor would she seek for herself in life any advantage or even any natural fulfilment.
Charles came back in a state of excitement.
'It was wonderful,' he said. 'What has happened to you? Your voice is so full and round. You lose yourself entirely, you speak with a voice that has in it all the colour and beauty and enchantment of my island.
You move simply, inevitably, so that every gesture is rhythmical, and like a musical accompaniment to the words.... You'll be an artist.
You are an artist. There has been nothing like it since the old days.... Duse could not do more with her voice.'
'I didn't know,' she said. 'I didn't know.'
'But I did,' he cried. 'I did. I knew you would become a wonder....
Bother money, bother Butcher, bother Clott, and d.a.m.n the committee.
Together we shall be irresistible--as we have been. You didn't tell me you were practising. If that is why you want to be alone I have nothing to say against it. I've been a selfish brute.'
She was deeply moved. Never before had Charles shown the slightest thought for her. Human beings as such were nothing to him, but for an artist, as for art, no trouble was too great, no sacrifice too extreme for him.
He seized her hands and kissed them over and over again.