Part 7 (2/2)

If English is ”wrote” as she is often ”spoke” by the ignorant and careless, she would bear little resemblance to the original Queen's English. A listener wrote out a short conversation heard the other day between two pupils of a high-school, and here is the phonetic result:

”Warejergo lasnight?”

”Hadder skate.”

”Jerfind th'ice hard'n'good?”

”Yes, hard'nough.”

”Jer goerlone?”

”No; Bill'n Joe wenterlong.”

”Howlate jerstay?”

”Pastate.”

”Lemmeknow wenyergoagin, woncher? I wantergo'n'show yer howterskate.”

”H'm, ficoodn't skate better'n you I'd sell-out'n'quit.”

”Well, we'll tryeranc'n'seefyercan.”

Here, as they took different streets, their conversation ceased.

A writer in the ”School-boy Magazine” has gathered together the following dictionary words as defined by certain small people:

Bed-time--Shut eye time.

Dust--Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Fan--A thing to brush warm off with.

Fins--A fish's wings.

Ice--Water that staid out in the cold and went to sleep.

Monkey--A very small boy with a tail.

Nest-Egg--The egg that the old hen measures by, to make new ones.

Pig--A hog's little boy.

Salt--What makes your potato taste bad when you don't put any on.

Snoring--Letting off sleep.

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