Part 28 (1/2)
Dev nudges me to take him to various places of worshi+p It's still a social exercise for et just one visit The Hebrew that mesmerizes me at the conservative teh it sometimes sounds to me-with its talk of Middle East strife- gospel h to s, ditto the long service
By suht resonate with the super-liberal Protestant parishes that shun dogma, but they actually puttheater Since the well-off parishi+oners send their kids to fancy camps, it's almost totally child-free The sermon-on justice to one's fellows-has so squeezed out any mention of God or Jesus, maybe to sound modern, there's no sense of history The pastor asks for peace and gives thanks for plenty, but the hoest
Looking for so to say to the pastor, I ask him how he deals with the problem of evil, and he says, We don't believe in it We don't believe in it-a phrase so obviously untrue, I wonder how they sell it It's like a Rotary Club enda in advance and is only waiting for the danish to coain, I think maybe they'll rook ether, Church Y sees Gods everywhere, each eable These Gods sound no more potent than the rabbit's foot Dev carries into the batter's box on a belt loop
The zendo wants people to sit in silence then chant for fivejump-rope rhy of the chants is supposed to relax you into a posture I couldn't hold for the appointed time if you oil-canned my knees like Oz's Tin Man
It's a year before we follow Toby and his wife, Catherine, to their Catholic parish, maybe because I associate their church with the shame of my lapsed pals or the Inquisition's torture devices
The whole surface of the roo down the aisles, babies squeak and yell On the altar, Father Kane is a blue-eyed Irishh Mass in the most unvarnished ith none of the maudlin piety I've seen at some other churches and te bent or cowed As a kid, I'd been dragged to a Mass by neighbors, where the priest downshi+fted in prayer into this slow, syrupy-extra-holy-way of talking, as the congregation no doubt prayed to get home in time for kickoff When Father Kane breaks up the bread, the nity of an enlightenedpro forma about it The process somehow erases him so he's a clear conduit, and the keen quality of his attention draws me in
Toward the end of Mass, Dev whispers, Is that a yaroes to a Jewish after-school-the best in town-he's covetous enough of a yarmulke that he once lopped the ears off his Mickey Mouse hat to make his own
I shush him, but Toby says under his breath, What is is that? The priest has taped to the top of his scalp a round piece of wire ht it was so so much as a small inverted sink-drain catcher that? The priest has taped to the top of his scalp a round piece of wire ht it was so so much as a small inverted sink-drain catcher
Father Kane tips the microphone and says sheepishly, I norrowth taken offas he adds, I didn't want you to think I'd joined the Hair Club for Men
Which draws hoots Walking to the parking lot, I realize I forgot , I haven't cracked it open
Maybe I' ho me a crackpot Since Warren's moved to New Haven for love and work, a church coh twice aat our house, both alone and with his sweetheart
Still, if Dev loses the bow to his school-owned bass the night before a concert or needs his basketball hoop set to regulation height the night before his birthday party, it falls to h ht have wrenches and laers to loan
On Halloween, Dev joins the line of Sunday school kids costu brief, sanitized stories of e-visor askew, plastic breastplate listing-co, You can be a saint, too! You can be a saint, too! like a used-car saless down the house like a used-car sales after, Dev jumps the communion line-his first show of appetite for baptiser and Dev shoots out of the pew I lean forward to grab his sleeve, but he jerks away The line edges up I hiss at hinores ht of him till both boys pop up at the altar
Before the priest, Dev stands slim and soleht this sacrament, which is painfully carnal if you think of it The body of the God is absorbed by the human body to nourish the spirit Dev's mouth pops open wide as a baby bird's
Afterward, the boys plop down beside estures, I wonder, are they practicing? But I crane over to catch theame: Here's the church Here's the steeple Open the door and see all the people Here's the church Here's the steeple Open the door and see all the people The ga another how to bear long, adult-prescribed intervals of inertia-a lineage I belong to
While the priest speaks and the responses co similar animals-an echo of the homeless shelter I think how horses in the Colorado of ether in the cold
At one point parishi+oners call out their intentions, people they want prayers said for For ees froratitude for the safe return of hter whose tuees froratitude for the safe return of ht they'd be, not even close It isn't the ritual of the high Mass that impresses me, but the people-their collective surrender If I can't do reverence to that, how dead areout that I forget to bring a paperback to Mass, so obviously, I' for Dev anymore It's historical interest, I tell y
When a married couple-he a former Jesuit, she once a nun-invite me to the Peace and Social Justice Co with the poor and against political tyranny (I know, historically, plenty of Catholics worked for for tyranny) They protest nuclear arees from Haiti and El Salvador Every Sunday they have so for baby clothes tyranny) They protest nuclear arees from Haiti and El Salvador Every Sunday they have so for baby clothes
Plus they argue likeit up I confess to this couple that Jesus Himself see surrender, I can't grasp signing up for crucifixion
The wife says, Long ti my faith on the Holy Spirit She's the female pronoun in the Greek Bible
C'mon, the husband says It's not called Holy Spirit-anity; it's called Christianity
After Mass one day, I challenge Father Kane on certain aspects of the liturgy that bother ain like an insurance sales like, He's so snotty to the lady at the well Iaround (Worried, I ed any future prery? the priest says I always thought He was joking or teasing her And she was just shocked He knew that stuff about her life
It's true Looking at the text, I've overlaid a judgmental tone on the story
Father Kane says, You know the best part, though-or a couple things She was Sao to the well in the hottest part of the day This was like a colored water fountain before the civil rights movement And Jesus drinks after her-that's the radical part The disciples are saying, Why'd you even talk to her? But Jesus didn't flinch
Father Kane knows that Dev is studying for baptis the same
I unload one of my key deal breakers: I don't believe the pope is the ultiht back, Maybe someday you will (Little did I kno outmatched I ith the modest Father Kane, who'd clearly had this kind of talk before) Grinning, he adds, God's after you Struggle all you want
I'm actually a little shocked that he cares whether I convert Still, I sign up for instruction, clai it's for conversations with Dev But when the lady in charge of classes kicks me out because I have to miss a few for work travel, I run tattle to Father Kane, who sits me in a pew He claims I've already read what they'll cover in class instruction He wants to know my isty toho ious authorities so mad they killed Him But for me, the Resurrection is only a metaphor for renewal
If you can believe He made all this happen-Father Kane waves his hand around the rooet Roht? So here, I say
But you are here, he says What's keeping you fro yourself the Sacraments Those are the consolations of the Church
In Mass the next week, I enter and get onthe prayers I usually say at ho different about praying in co like a poser
About a week later, Father Kane tells me he's found a way for me to miss classes and still be baptized with Dev if I want to I can ospels one-on-one Father Kane will personally fill in any gaps
Which is how one of my literary heroes winds up my Godfather
40
Dysfunctional Fa, posthaste, posthaste, the gliding years-to use a soul-rending Horatian inflection The years are passing, my dear, and presently nobody will knohat you and I know-Vladimir Nabokov, Speak Memory Speak Mees I' about the worst patch of our fa over She swears public opinion frets her not one whit In fact, she and Lecia both signed off on a su rat's ass what anybody thought aboutto PTA Which I didn't do
But I know reading it could hurt thelonghand-I just conk out on the floor of my study like a cross-country trucker I see a shrink who says the naps don'tall that stuff again is exhausting? So the prospect of dragging Mother and Lecia through it too feels like abuse
Mother's sole focus is h the marketplace, she's mostly just skippy I have a car, however far it is from paid off In fact, she's sure I've misunderstood the contract soht, Mother My money
What if they don't like the book?
Oh well
What if it doesn't sell?