Part 32 (2/2)
”No. And I soon shall cease to come here at all except on Thursdays.”
”You almost have done that now. I think I get more satisfaction watching you from the gallery than anything else. You look very calm and senatorial, and you always are standing some one in a corner who is trying to make a speech.”
”I am relieved to know that I do not inspire the amazement of my colleagues. It is a long while since I have felt calm and senatorial, however. But these are days for alertness of mind, and even the most distracting of women must be shut up in her cupboard and forgotten for a few hours every day.”
”I think I rather like that.”
”Of course you do. A woman always likes a strong lover. And you have plenty of revenge, if you did but know.”
”I know,” she said; and as she raised her eyes and looked at him steadily, he believed her.
”Tell me at least that you miss coming to that room--I want to hear you say it.”
”Good G.o.d!”
Betty caught her breath. But when women feel fire between their fingers and are reckless before the swift approach of a greater wretchedness than that possessing them, they are merciless to themselves and the man.
”Can you stay away?” she whispered. ”Can you?”
”It is the one thing I can do.”
”Do you realize what you are saying?--that you have put me aside for ever? Are you willing to admit that it is all over? How am I to live on and on and on? Can you fancy me alone next summer in the Adirondacks--”
”Hus.h.!.+ Hus.h.!.+ Do you wish me to come? Answer me honestly, without any feminine subterfuge.”
”No, I do not.” ”And I should not come if you did, for I know the price we both should pay better than you do, and only complete happiness could justify such a step. You and I could find happiness in marriage only--we both demand too much! But I also know that the higher faculties of the mind do not always prevail, and I shall not see you alone again.”
She pushed him further. ”You take this philosophically because you have loved before and recovered. You feel sure that no love lasts.”
”When a man loves as I love you, he has no past. There are no experiences alive in his memory to help him to philosophy. With the entire world the last love is the only love. As for myself, I shall not love again and I shall not recover.”
”I wore white because I knew you would come tonight,” she said softly.
”Yes, and you would torment me if I went down on my knees and begged for mercy.”
”Senator,” said Montgomery, approaching them. ”I suppose it is some satisfaction to you to know that that resolution cannot pa.s.s the House.”
”I hope you will make a speech on the subject that will look well in the Record,” said North, with some sarcasm.
Montgomery laughed. ”That is a good suggestion. I wonder if some of our orators ever read themselves over in cold blood. The back numbers of the Record ought to be a solemn warning.”
”Unfortunately most people don't know when they have made fools of themselves; that is one reason the world grows wise so slowly. I don't doubt your speech will look well. You've been remarkably sane for a young man of enthusiasms. Reserve some of your logic, however, for the greater conflict that is coming. The pressure on the President is becoming very severe, and the worst of it is that a great part of it comes from Congressmen of his own party.”
”One of our Populists has christened these 'kickers' 'the reconcentrados;' which is not bad, as there is said to be a kickers'
caucus in process of organization. But if the pressure on the President is severe, it is equally so on us, and I suppose the 'kickers' are those who have one k.n.o.b too few in their backbones. Some, however, have got the war bee inside their skulls instead of in their hats, and will be fit subjects for a lunatic asylum if the thing doesn't end soon, one way or another. And they reiterate and reiterate that they don't want war, when they know that any determined step we can take is bound to lead to it. I have no patience with them. They either are fools or are trying to keep on both sides of the fence at once.”
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