Part 17 (1/2)

Since the conservatory opened directly off the marble-floored entrance hall, Paula heard Jim's footsteps the moment he entered the house. She was standing near the fading hydrangea plant, holding the discolored leaf in her hand, and she turned, expectancy and warmth filling her face.

”h.e.l.lo, darling,” she said, as he came down the two steps, and moved swiftly toward him, her eagerness to see him most apparent.

”h.e.l.lo,” he replied.

They met in the center of the room. He gave her a light kiss, then lowered himself into a chair without saying another word.

Paula stood staring down at him, puzzlement in her eyes. He had sounded so apathetic, and the kiss was so perfunctory she knew he was not himself. She said instantly, ”Is there something the matter, Jim?”

He shook his head. ”Just tired,” he said, smiling that bland, dismissive smile she had come to know so well. 'There was an accident on the Harrogate road, quite a pileup of cars because of it, and it slowed the. traffic. We crawled along for miles. Frustrating . . . exhausting, actually.”

”How awful. I'm sorry. That's all you needed. Let me fix you a drink,” she suggested, not entirely satisfied with this explanation but making up her mind not to press too hard for the moment.

”That's a good idea,” he exclaimed in a stronger tone. ”Thanks, a gin and tonic should hit the spot.”

”I'll just go for some ice,” she said and made to leave the conservatory.

”Ring for Meg. She can bring it.” He frowned. ”The bell's not broken again, is it?”

”No, but it'll be quicker if I go,” Paula said, pausing with one foot on the step, glancing over her shoulder.

”I wonder sometimes why we have a maid,” he said with a hint of irritation, looking up, leveling his pale grayish blue eyes on her.

She stared back at him, detecting criticism in his tone and manner, but she remarked with evenness, ”She's awfully busy right now, and anyway Grandy brought us up not to be overly dependent on servants, as I've told you so many times.” Not waiting for a response, she hurried out, but she heard his pained sigh as she went into the hall. Maybe it is only weariness, a hard day at the paper, the difficult drive' home, plus the hectic weekend, Paula thought, endeavoring to persuade herself that these were the real reasons for his peculiar mood. He wasn't often moody, at least not exactly like this! As she pushed open the kitchen door, she noticed she was still holding the leaf. It was mangled in her hand.

Relax, she instructed herself, his moodiness means nothing. He'll be more like himself after a drink.

Meg said, ”Do you think I've made enough canape's, Mrs. Fairley?” She indicated the silver tray, pausing in herjwork.

”Yes, that's plenty, Meg, and they look delicious. Thank you. Could you fill the ice bucket, please?” Whilst the maid busied herself at the refrigerator, Paula threw the leaf in the rubbish bin and washed her hands at the kitchen sink.

]im had risen in her absence, and he was standing looking out into the garden when Paula went back to the conservatory with the ice. His face was in profile; nonetheless she could not fail to miss the morose curve of his mouth, and when he swung around, his eyes were vague.

Questions flew to her tongue, but she bit them back and hurried to the skirted table, which held bottles and a tray of gla.s.ses. Pouring his gin and tonic, she said without turning around, ”I thought we'd have drinks in here later, or do you prefer the drawing room?”

”Wherever you wish,” he replied in a disinterested voice.

Striving for a normal manner, she continued steadily, ”Did you book at the Granby after all, Jim?”

”Yes. We have a table reserved for eight-thirty. Anthony called earlier today and said they wouldn't be able to get here until seven fifteen. That gives us an hour to relax.”

”Yes.” Anxiety was rising in her. He was strange, there were no two ways about it, and she wondered if their quarrel of the previous evening still lingered in the back of his mind, rankled perhaps! But why would it? He had won, and anyway he had teen chatty and pleasant at breakfast. But she resolved to get to the root of whatever was bothering him. She also decided'to have a vodka and tonic, even though she hardly ever drank hard liquor.

Jim seemed to visibly cheer up as he sipped his drink. He lit a cigarette and asked casually, ”Heard from anybody today?”

”Emily, Merry O'Neill. And Grandy, of course. She rang me just after you left this morning to let me know she was going to London for a few days.” Paula now looked directly at him, took a deep breath. ”Why are we making small talk, Jim, when you're troubled? I know something's wrong. Please tell me what it is, darling.”

He was silent.

She leaned forward intently, her unwavering eyes holding his. ”Look, I want to know what's bothering you,” she insisted.

Jim sighed heavily. ”I suppose there's no point putting it off... I had a bit of a set-to with Winston today, and-”

Paula laughed with relief. ”Is that all! Well, you've had clashes with him before, and they always blow over. So will this-”

”I've resigned,” Jim announced flatly.

She looked at him uncomprehendingly, totally at a loss for words. Slowly she put down her drink. Her dark brows drew together in a frown. ”Resigned?”

”As managing director of the company, that is,” he added quickly. ”Effective immediately.”

Thunderstruck, she continued to gape at him. She found her voice and it rose slightly as'she asked, ”But why? And why didn't you mention it to me, tell me what was on your mind? I simply don't understand ...” She did not finish her sentence, sat tensely in the chair.

”There was nothing to discuss. You see, I didn't know I was going to resign-until I did.”

”Jim, this is perfectly ridiculous,” she said, attempting a laugh. ”Just because you had a little row with Winston doesn't mean you have to do something as drastic as this . . .. after all, Grandy has the final word, you know that. She appointed you; she'll reinstate you at once. She'll put Winston straight, deal with him. Look, I'll speak to her tomorrow, ring her first thing in the morning.” She gave him an encouraging smile, but it faltered as he held up his hand with an abrupt movement that was uncharacteristic.

”I'm afraid you're misunderstanding me. Winston didn't force me to resign or anything like that, if that's what you're thinking. I did so of my own accord. I wanted to, and rather badly, although I must admit in all truthfulness that I didn't realize this until the opportunity presented itself. So I certainly don't want to be reinstated.'

”But why not, for heaven's sake?” she cried, her perplexity and concern mounting, rising to the surface to cloud her face.

”Because I don't like the job. Never have. When Winston came to see me this morning, he asked me point-blank if I wished to continue as managing director; and as he was speaking, I knew-really knew, Paula-that I didn't. I've never been particularly good at administrative work or interested in it, and I told Winston so, and he said he'd sensed this for some time. He pointed out that perhaps it would be better if I stuck to journalism, ran the papers but not the company. I thoroughly agree with him, so I stepped down. That s all there is to it, actually,” he shrugged, smiled faintly, ”All there is to it,” she echoed incredulously. She was aghast at what he had done and at his att.i.tude. ”I don't believe I'm hearing you say these things. You're acting as if it didn't matter, as if this wasn't serious, when it's terribly serious. And you're being so cavalier, so dismissive, I'm absolutely staggered.”

”Don't get so het up. Frankly, I'm filled with relief.”

”Relief should be the last thing on your mind,” she said in a small dismayed voice. ”What about duty? Responsibility? Grandy showed a great deal of faith in you, put her trust in you when she appointed you managing director last year. I think you've let her down and rather badly.”

”I'm sorry you feel that way, Paula, because I must disagree with you. I haven't let Grandy down,” he protested. ”I'm still going to be managing editor in charge of two of the most important newspapers in the Consolidated group. I'll be doing what I do best, being a newspaperman and a d.a.m.ned good one at that.” He sat back, crossed his legs, and returned her penetrating stare with an unblinking gaze. His expression was adamant!

”And who's going to run the company, now that you've stepped down?”

”Winston, of course.” ”You know very well he doesn't want that job.”

”Neither do I.

Paula's lips drew together in aggravation. Another thought struck her, and she exclaimed fiercely, .”I hope this sudden and rather extraordinary decision of yours doesn't mean that Grandy will have to cancel her trip with Blackie. She really needs that holiday. What did she say? I presume you've told her.”

”Naturally I've told her. Winston and I walked over to the store at lunch' time for a meeting with her. Your grandmother accepted my resignation, Winston's agreed to take the job, and he didn't seem very perturbed about the idea either. Grandy isn't going to cancel her holiday-rest a.s.sured of that.” He leaned forward and clasped her hand in his. ”Come on, relax. You're the one who's more upset than anyone. Grandy and Winston respect my decision. They didn't quibble. In fact there was very little discussion ... it was rather cut and dried, actually.”

”You've simply misunderstood their reactions,” she murmured, filled with misery.