Part 13 (1/2)
”Oh, to be so weightless, unbound and free...”
The wistful tone of her voice caused him to consider her words carefully.
”I take it you haven't experienced it then?” He aligned himself under the guise of observing the balloon, but in truth wished to get closer still.
”Oh no, we could never afford anything as grand.”
He regretted the question upon hearing her response. So pleased by the scene on the horizon, he would not allow his words to ruin the spectacle.
”You always smell so good.” He voiced the low murmur against his better judgment, even though it rang true. She did smell wonderful.
It took every fiber of his being not to lean in and kiss the silky wisps of hair that graced the curve of her neck. Instead he satisfied himself with moving closer, hovering near disrespectability with the action, unable to stop. She adjusted her shoulders in an infinitesimal gesture. Did she offer him more opportune access or ready herself to deflect his advance?
”It's vanilla bean. My father could not abide fancy flower waters which dramatically reduced our choice in fragrance. I was never fond of lemons.”
”You are much too sweet for that, chere amie.” His murmured observation was for her ears only. ”A delightful confection impossible to resist.” His breath whispered past her ear, a delicate sh.e.l.l with the daintiest lobe, the perfect size for a nibble.
She turned and her nose brushed against his, he'd moved so scandalously close during their conversation. His eyes fell upon her freckles and he was lost.
”Why are you looking at me like that?” She raised her hand and touched her cheek, her expression self-conscious. ”Is my face dirty? Is something amiss?” Her questions were punctuated with hesitation.
He almost chuckled, except the desire to kiss her rose with such strength, the fleeting humor dissipated. He adored her, truly, but he would die before he voiced such a lovesick admission.
”It's my freckles, isn't it?” She sounded terribly dismayed. ”I try every morning to cover them with rice powder-”
”You do what?” He had never heard anything so appalling, having spent countless evenings wondering where else she had the precious marks. How dare she attempt to cover them? ”I'm going to kiss you now and there is little you can do to convince me otherwise.”
A glimmer of apprehension lit her eyes and a soft gasp escaped as she comprehended his words. The tip of her tongue darted out and coasted over her lips so quickly he almost missed the motion. Then she turned her shy gaze back to the horizon.
”They have floated so high. I would be afraid of falling.”
Falling, yes, he was falling. Falling in love. And there was no stopping it and he did not want to stop it and that existed as the most peculiar realization of all, because he'd avowed he was not the marrying kind, that he would never open his heart to the fickle emotion ever again; that he would never allow any woman to hold exacting control over his mind and body. Over his heart.
Yet here he stood in the middle of Richmond Park breaking every promise he'd ever made and finding it excruciatingly difficult to breathe from the effect of how tightly his heart squeezed whenever he laid eyes on Penelope's beautiful face.
He let the realization take hold on his soul before he grasped her slender shoulders and turned her to face him. His pulse thrummed, his heart thundered, and he hadn't a single care if King George advanced down the path and saw them on the bridge as he lowered his mouth to capture hers.
She was worth the risk. He would declare his feelings and offer his devotion, and with a low growl of desire and the decision made, he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping in for a pleasure caress, his arms wrapping tight to bring her softness against the wall of his chest. Her body arched against his and he needed no further encouragement, the fine thread of his control strained to the breaking point.
”I could kiss you forever.” His husky whisper barely escaped before he dipped his head and captured her lips in another glorious open-mouthed embrace.
”Yes.”
Breathless and erotic, her utterance shot straight to his groin. He captured her mouth, anxious to drink more kisses from her lips. He possessed enough sense to realize they stood in broad daylight in a public park yet his body grew harder, unwilling to listen to the lonely voice of reason resonating in his head.
”We should...”
He turned her ready objection into a deep lingering kiss, his wicked imagination completing her sentence myriad ways as he nuzzled a hot path down the side of her neck. He found a sensitive spot and she melted in his arms, her pliant body offered in complete surrender.
He struggled to check his desire as she withdrew from his embrace.
”I want to kiss you, I do.” Her voice, rich with emotion, wavered halfway toward plea. ”But until I resolve my problems from the past and find the gentleman I seek...”
Her voice trailed off as she disentangled from his grasp. Releasing his hold, anger replaced pa.s.sion. Whenever he opened his heart to her, the glory was short-lived.
”G.o.ddammit. Are you always thinking of him? Is he on your mind as you return my kiss?” His voice sounded strange and disappointment challenged her reply though Penelope's face offered him the answer. He stepped across the footbridge putting distance between them.
”I cannot stop thinking of him. Until this is settled-” She raised her hand to her cheek in a worried gesture.
Her defensive tone told him there would be no changing her mind. Still he persisted. Everything remained at stake.
”Forget the past.” He didn't look at her, unsure if he would finish were he to see sadness in her eyes. ”If it's filled with naught but unpleasantness, begin anew and allow yourself the life you deserve. You have friends here and family.” He could not voice what his heart begged him to admit. That here in London, she would also have him. Always. ”Isn't that enough?”
”No.”
Like a fist to the jaw, that one word.
Time ticked by before she continued, but when she did it was nothing he wished to hear.
”I no longer trust my emotion. It didn't work out in the past-”
”And I'm glad for it. The past brought you to this minute right now.” He returned to the top of the bridge, filled with a raw combination of ardent determination and angry disillusion. ”But you're nothing more than a tease. A distraction of the worst kind. My mother enlisted my help, though I had every intention of avoiding you, avoiding this.” He slashed his arm through the air as if to indicate the emotional mess. ”And now I'm burdened with unwanted feelings and it's your fault, not mine.”
Penelope retreated at his sudden rush. ”You misunderstand. I'm not concerned with my own happiness. It's complicated and I don't wish to trouble your life because of mine.”
Her remorseful whisper twisted his heart. ”Too late for that. You've done everything but turn me inside out.”
She made a little noise, no more than an angel's sigh, although her tensile figure remained motionless as she demurred. ”I never meant to. I need to fix the problem I've created for Aubry's sake. You don't know.”
In my heart, I do.
He did not trust himself to speak, anger consuming him although a dozen emotions fought for attention. Silence accompanied them to the carriage which good fortune supplied in perfect timing otherwise the awkwardness of being denied again would have poured forth in accusations he would later regret. Maman fell asleep once their journey began and how serendipitous the other two pa.s.sengers were not speaking to each other, for nothing was left to say.
Chapter Eighteen.
”Aubry?” Penelope entered her sister's bedchamber. She couldn't bear the weight of her heartache alone. If she didn't confess her affection for Phineas soon, she feared she would drown in emotion. But what was she to do? If she abandoned her search for Simon, she could never hope to recover her mother's cameo and they'd never have a chance at an independent life. The alternative, if Phineas would still have her, she'd be in London, where at any a.s.sembly Simon could see her. She had no choice but to find him first. A heartbroken groan escaped with the realization.
Aubry rushed to her side, her face displaying immediate concern. ”What is it? Have you been crying? You look wretched.”
Penelope's eyes filled with tears as she shook her head in response.
”I've told you it serves no purpose to think about the past.” Aubry led her to the window seat and offered a consoling hug as they sat on the plush banquette.
”That's not it.” Penelope managed the words between stifled sniffles. ”Today in the park, Phineas told me he cares for me.” Her abbreviated sobs caused her to hiccup. ”And I wanted to tell him...”
”About Simon?”