Part 6 (2/2)

The commonest explanation is that the swizzle stick is to stir the bubbles out of your champagne, which raises the question of why anyone would want to pay extra for wine with bubbles in in it, only to pay even more extra for a device to get the bubbles it, only to pay even more extra for a device to get the bubbles out out. This is one of those unanswerable questions of social history, but we can hazard a guess. The flibbertigibbet who takes a sip of champagne, sneezes, giggles, and says, ”Oooh, the bubbles get up my nose!” is a legendary figure still with us, as you can see at any wedding. But there was a time-in the 1930s, the heyday of the swizzle stick-when giggling, sneezing, or performing any of the involuntary pneumatics a.s.sociated with carbonated drinks was simply incompatible with the elegance and poise required of a woman. So (we humbly suggest) the swizzle stick in its retractable form was born, as a preemptive strike against the destabilizing bubble.

But why ”swizzle”? The most likely answer there is that the word has been used for punches since the eighteenth century. We might reflect on whether the Englishman's cla.s.sical education in the behavior of the ancient Greeks at their symposia may have predisposed him to the idea of diluting his wine; we will never know. We do know that the earlier word punch punch, first seen in the early seventeenth century, comes from the Hindi panch panch, ”five,” referring to the five basic ingredients: wine (or brandy), water, lemon juice, sugar, and spice. And we know from personal experience that a gla.s.s of punch or swizzle needs the occasional stir, and stirring it with a spoon is likely to lead to spills and splashes; hence the traditional gla.s.s (or metal) rod, with a rounded end, is often used instead. And there we have it: a stick to stir your swizzle.

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What would go nicely with curry?

PAIRING WINE and food used to be reasonably simple: the local wine and the local food would generally sit in harmony. Retsina with your and food used to be reasonably simple: the local wine and the local food would generally sit in harmony. Retsina with your kokoretsi kokoretsi, burgundy with boeuf bourguignon boeuf bourguignon, a prosecco with fegato alla veneziana fegato alla veneziana, a Bandol rose with your bouillabaisse. But globalization has made the task that much harder. We were rung up not so long ago by a friend who is best described not as an oenophile nor as a gourmet but by that seldom-heard word now, a trencherman trencherman. His work in the s.h.i.+pping industry takes him round the world, but he wanted to speak of a restaurant called, if he remembered correctly, Alberto, Feinstein, and Ho, which was, as far as he could recall, in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Alberto was Italian, Feinstein was originally from Vienna, and Ho was, as far as he knew, Vietnamese, and their cuisine, as well as their business venture, could be described by that portmanteau word for a mult.i.tude of gastronomic peculiarities, fusion fusion.

Fusion, in this case, consisted of sweet-and-sour Wiener schnitzel with risotto, and when he asked what wine they recommended with the dish, the waiter replied, ”Beer. Molson. Lots.”

Indeed, the task would have been difficult to perform otherwise. A BBC radio producer was celebrated for his ability to construct satirical menus for special occasions, his chef d'oeuvre possibly being ”vibrating skate wings lightly dusted with Ajax and served in a helmet,” but reality has overtaken him: what would you you choose to accompany a dish of udders cooked in hay, which we ate at one of the most celebrated restaurants in Britain? choose to accompany a dish of udders cooked in hay, which we ate at one of the most celebrated restaurants in Britain?

But of all the challenges of food-and-wine pairings, the most insurmountable must surely be curry. Given that both the generic balti balti and chicken tikka masala have acquired the status of Britain's national dishes, the marketing of wines to accompany curry has become a fierce and valuable contest. Curry traditionally has been drunk with beer ever since the British Raj in the nineteenth century, when so-called India pale ales were brewed specifically to endure the four-thousand-mile voyage to India (you will still see IPA as a category on beer-pump handles in the pub). and chicken tikka masala have acquired the status of Britain's national dishes, the marketing of wines to accompany curry has become a fierce and valuable contest. Curry traditionally has been drunk with beer ever since the British Raj in the nineteenth century, when so-called India pale ales were brewed specifically to endure the four-thousand-mile voyage to India (you will still see IPA as a category on beer-pump handles in the pub).

The problem is compounded by the lack of any tradition of drinking with food in Indian culture: drinking, at least of alcohol, stops when eating starts, and food is usually accompanied by la.s.si la.s.si, a sweet or salty drink made from yogurt-far better at taking the edge off a very hot curry, since only fat (as in yogurt) or sugar is effective at blunting the fire of the capsaicin in chiles.

One enterprising company, Balti Wine, was set up in 2007 specifically to crack this potential treasure chest with five wines, which they offer in various bottle-top colors to go with varying spiciness of food, ”the product of extensive taste testing in conjunction with representatives from the Food Technology Department at Manchester University.” Blended from Argentinian wines, they include Blue Top Sauvignon-Chardonnay for Mild Cuisine, Orange Top Chenin-Chardonnay for Medium Hot Cuisine, and Green Top Ugni BlancChardonnay for the Hottest Cuisine, the last being described by wine writer Andrew Fraser as ”quite unpleasant to drink on its own” but ”transformed” with a lamb Karachi curry. Fraser ruefully concludes: ”I certainly wish I'd thought of the idea.”

Does the gla.s.s you use make any difference?

THIS IS A MATTER of some contention. There are several gla.s.s-makers who produce a series of gla.s.ses with different shapes for each type of wine; they insist that it makes a substantial difference in your tasting experience if you use a gla.s.s of a specific shape for claret, burgundy, chardonnay, riesling, or a dozen others. Many question this notion, saying that it is more of a marketing ploy than an absolute truth. There have been tastings in which gla.s.ses were marked against each other, but the results do not reliably point one way or another. In the circ.u.mstances, one might as well be guided by aesthetics and cost as by function. of some contention. There are several gla.s.s-makers who produce a series of gla.s.ses with different shapes for each type of wine; they insist that it makes a substantial difference in your tasting experience if you use a gla.s.s of a specific shape for claret, burgundy, chardonnay, riesling, or a dozen others. Many question this notion, saying that it is more of a marketing ploy than an absolute truth. There have been tastings in which gla.s.ses were marked against each other, but the results do not reliably point one way or another. In the circ.u.mstances, one might as well be guided by aesthetics and cost as by function.

Professionals at least can agree on the decision of the International Standards Organisation (ISO) to prescribe a standard tasting gla.s.s. This is used by tasters in wine compet.i.tions and also by examining bodies in wine-tasting examinations. The gla.s.s has a volume of 210 ml, but for tasting, only 50 ml of wine is put into it. The gla.s.s curves inward above the level to which it is thus filled, so as to capture 160 ml of aromas. There is also plenty of room for swirling. Fifty ml is adequate for tasting, but not in most cases for drinking, for which rather larger gla.s.ses should ideally be used. Even so, the same principle should be followed: the gla.s.s should be considerably less than half full so as to leave plenty of s.p.a.ce for the aromas and for swirling, and it should curve inward from the level to which it is filled.

Clear gla.s.s is important for the appreciation of wine, because it allows the color to be observed, both at the ”core” and at the rim, where surface tension provides a very thin layer rising up the inside of the gla.s.s (the meniscus). The color of the rim should be keenly observed. Generally, one can see the aging of red wine at the rim, which is purple for young wines, garnet to brick for mature ones, and brown for those of great age or distinctly past their peak. Therefore, colored wine gla.s.ses are not good for wine appreciation. Silver goblets, although not colored, are opaque and therefore are not ideal either.

Silver, nevertheless, is used for wine. It does not impart any noticeable taint to wine-hence its use in the necks of carafes and in funnels for wine. Historically, wine was often drunk or tasted from shallow silver dishes with one or two handles. They had the obvious advantage over gla.s.s vessels in that they could be carried around without risk of breakage, and were shallow enough to allow the color of red wine to be a.s.sessed. They would not have been very good for trapping aromas, however. In Scotland, dishes with two handles were known as quaiches (and were used for whisky and brandy as well as for wine); they are still manufactured and given as christening gifts. The French equivalent is the one-handled tastevin, used exclusively for tasting, as the name implies. Antique tastevins can still be found; some have an ancient silver coin providing the base. The tastevin gave its name to a society set up in France in 1934 to promote the drinking of burgundy through unashamed ritual, the Confrererie des Chevaliers du Tastevin, which flourishes to this day.

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China tea, yes-but Chinese wine?

CHINESE WINES do not exactly crowd the shelves of Western wine shops, so it may come as something of a surprise to learn that, as of 2007, China had the world's fifth largest vineyard area (although only one-sixth of the total grape harvest was used for wine) and produced nearly 5 percent of the world's output of wine. Furthermore, the making of wine has a long, if somewhat episodic, history in China. The great poet Li Bai, who lived from 701 to 762, wrote dozens of poems about wine, including ”Song of the River”: do not exactly crowd the shelves of Western wine shops, so it may come as something of a surprise to learn that, as of 2007, China had the world's fifth largest vineyard area (although only one-sixth of the total grape harvest was used for wine) and produced nearly 5 percent of the world's output of wine. Furthermore, the making of wine has a long, if somewhat episodic, history in China. The great poet Li Bai, who lived from 701 to 762, wrote dozens of poems about wine, including ”Song of the River”: My boat is of ebony the holes in my flute are golden.

As a plant takes out stains from silk so wine takes sadness from the heart.

When one has good wine, a graceful boat, and a maiden's love, why envy the immortal G.o.ds?

This is not far from Omar Khayyam's celebration of a book of verses, a jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou, with Li Bai subst.i.tuting flute music for verses. There is a certain rightness about the similarity, because China owed its acquisition of Vitis vinifera Vitis vinifera, the supreme species of wine-grape vine, to Persia.

Alcoholic beverages, including wine made from native grapes, had long been known in China, but it was only in 128 BC BC that the first seeds of that the first seeds of Vitis vinifera Vitis vinifera arrived in the country. General Chang Chien was sent on an expedition to Bactria, and on his return to the Chinese court, he presented vine seeds to Emperor Han Wu Dia (Han Dynasty). They came from Fergana, the country east of Samarkand, which is now Uzbekistan but was then part of Persia. (In fact, the Chinese-and j.a.panese-word for grape is arrived in the country. General Chang Chien was sent on an expedition to Bactria, and on his return to the Chinese court, he presented vine seeds to Emperor Han Wu Dia (Han Dynasty). They came from Fergana, the country east of Samarkand, which is now Uzbekistan but was then part of Persia. (In fact, the Chinese-and j.a.panese-word for grape is budo budo, while the late Persian word was buda buda.) The emperor had vines planted around the imperial palaces in Xinjiang and Shanxi, and three centuries later wine was so valuable that it was used as a diplomatic tool-perhaps much as the Austrian emperors were later to use Tokaji. Over the succeeding centuries, the planting of vines became more widespread and-depending on the level of tax-wine made from grapes, as opposed to that made from cereals, increased in popularity among the lower social cla.s.ses.

Genghis Khan's grandson, Kublai Khan, who lived from 1216 to 1294, completed the conquest of China begun by his grandfather and founded the Yuan Dynasty. During his rule, the court chose grape wine (putao jiu) for the ceremony when wors.h.i.+pping their ancestors, while in 1291, a wine cellar was built in one of the imperial palaces. Marco Polo, in his description of his travels in the thirteenth century, wrote that ”in Shanxi province grew many excellent vines, supplying a great deal of wine, and in all Cathay this is the only place where wine is produced. It is carried hence all over the country.” For reasons n.o.body really knows, wine fell from favor during the Ming Dynasty (13681644). One possible explanation was that the first Ming emperor was born in the south of China, where the weather is not conducive to the growing of grapes, and thus lacked the wine culture present in the north. As well, the duty on grape wine was raised, making it less affordable for the less wealthy.

With the coming of the Ching (or Qing) Dynasty in 1644, the popularity of wine gradually recovered, doubtless helped by the enduring belief that it had health-giving properties. Emperor K'an-hi, who ruled at the same time as Louis XIV, experimented by planting vines in different parts of the country, which confirmed that they flourished in the north but not in the subtropical south. With the nineteenth century's influx of missionaries and invaders, however, foreign influence on the growing of grapes and the making of wine grew. In the mid-nineteenth century, Jesuit missionaries encouraged the planting of vineyards specifically to make wine for use during the celebration of the sacraments. In the late nineteenth century, French Catholic missionaries planted vineyards and made wine. During the German and j.a.panese occupations from the late nineteenth and into the early twentieth centuries, a winery was established by the Germans and another by the j.a.panese. Most important, however, was the establis.h.i.+ng of the first modern Chinese winery. Chang Bi s.h.i.+, referred to variously as an overseas Chinese merchant or as an officer in the Qing government, returned to China in 1892 and set up the Chang Yu winery in Yantai, reportedly employing the Austrian consul as winemaker. He also introduced 150 varieties of V. vinifera V. vinifera from Europe, including Welschriesling, which remains of importance for the wine industry today. from Europe, including Welschriesling, which remains of importance for the wine industry today.

It might have been thought that wine would have been a victim of the Communist victory in 1949, but this was not the case. Indeed, the government expanded the wineries: they preferred that the people drink wine rather than spirits, and they and successive governments wanted to reserve rice for food rather than allow it to be used to make rice wine. However, for reasons of economy, the grape wine was blended with water, other fruit juices, coloring, and fermented cereals, as a result of which people became confused as to what wine really was. Nowadays, it is necessary to specify grape wine.

After 1979, foreign investors were allowed to establish a modern wine industry. Substantial investment was made by a number of Western distilleries, who imported vinification equipment, V. vinifera V. vinifera vine cuttings, and the technical expertise needed to make the wines, and Western-style wines were produced. In the 1990s, a wine boom was sparked off when officials followed the lead of Western countries in recommending the moderate use of red wine to reduce the risk of heart disease. As a result, thousands of cases were imported and rushed onto the market, tankers of bulk wine arrived to be bottled locally, and small wineries sprang up all over China. By the mid-2000s, a number of large chateau-style wineries had been established. vine cuttings, and the technical expertise needed to make the wines, and Western-style wines were produced. In the 1990s, a wine boom was sparked off when officials followed the lead of Western countries in recommending the moderate use of red wine to reduce the risk of heart disease. As a result, thousands of cases were imported and rushed onto the market, tankers of bulk wine arrived to be bottled locally, and small wineries sprang up all over China. By the mid-2000s, a number of large chateau-style wineries had been established.

Wine, especially champagne, is now wildly fas.h.i.+onable, but at the summit are the Bordeaux grands crus grands crus, including the most expensive wines of the Right Bank. When the elites first came into contact with red wines, most found them too bitter to drink with pleasure. However, status demanded that first-growth Bordeaux be drunk, so Sprite would be added to soften and round out the wine. Horror stories abounded of customers mixing Chateau Petrus and c.o.ke. True connoisseurs have now emerged, but so have collectors, with the result that they are among those most responsible for driving up the prices of the first growths, which now are bought but seldom drunk. With continuing economic growth and growing awareness of wine, however, a true wine-drinking culture will almost certainly develop, which should encourage the export to China of wines from all over the world. By then, the addition of c.o.ke will undoubtedly no longer be necessary.

Do they really make wine from bees?

THIS IS A question that, while it has not exactly haunted us since someone first mentioned ”bee wine,” occasionally and without warning springs worryingly to mind. After all, there's hardly a vegetable on the planet that hasn't been made into wine, so ... can you ferment an animal? If so, we can be sure that someone has done it. question that, while it has not exactly haunted us since someone first mentioned ”bee wine,” occasionally and without warning springs worryingly to mind. After all, there's hardly a vegetable on the planet that hasn't been made into wine, so ... can you ferment an animal? If so, we can be sure that someone has done it.

But books are not only a (hopefully) diverting way for the reader to while away an hour or two; they also give pleasure to the authors, giving them an excuse to look into things that otherwise might have gone unresolved.

We confess our initial thought was that yes, there probably was bee wine, and yes, it probably was made from bees in some way; if not, it likely was an epithet for mead.

We were mostly wrong. Yes, there is bee wine, but it has nothing to do with bees and everything to do with the yeast, which is introduced into the must in the form of a yeast-and-sugar lump that rises and falls with the fermentation process, b.u.mping around like a bee in a bottle.

On balance, we're relieved. On balance too, though, we wish we hadn't found out about the animal wines of Indochina: Seahorse wine, water-snake wine, King Cobra wine, Many Snakes wine, and, indeed, Bamboo Bee Wine. Each bottle has the animal inside it. Of course, it's not actually wine wine wine, and the Bamboo Bee isn't actually a wine, and the Bamboo Bee isn't actually a bee bee bee, but all the same ... all the same ... bee, but all the same ... all the same ...

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Is there wine in Paradise?

IT'S A GOOD question, and one that has received little attention from the wine-drinking believers in an afterlife, who just sort of question, and one that has received little attention from the wine-drinking believers in an afterlife, who just sort of a.s.sume a.s.sume that Paradise will be like life on earth, only better. Of that Paradise will be like life on earth, only better. Of course course there'll be wine in Paradise. How could it possibly be otherwise? there'll be wine in Paradise. How could it possibly be otherwise?

But for the abstemious faiths, it is a problem. Muslims, in particular, have been exercised over the centuries by non-Muslims saying things like ”Oh, go on, just have one gla.s.s-after all, there'll be wine in Paradise.”

Commentators on the Qur'an have come up with answers to such silliness, of course, and our favorite refers to Hadith 589, narrated by Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, ”Allah said, 'I have prepared for My righteous slaves (such excellent things) as no eye has ever seen, nor an ear has ever heard nor a human heart can ever think of.'”

So as we can see paradise is something that is not of this world. So when the Qur'an talks about rivers of honey that does not mean that it is the same kind of honey that we have in this world. Similarly, when the Qur'an talks about rivers of wine in paradise that does not mean that it is the same kind of wine that we have here on earth that makes you get drunk and do stupid things and gives you a hangover the next morning. No, not at all. G.o.d is just using these terms in order for us to try to imagine what this paradise is kind of like. So the wine of paradise is nothing like the wine of this world.

Theology is a wonderful thing. Perhaps the wine of Paradise, which is not like the wine of this world, bears some relation to the drunkenness of Purim, which is not like the drunkenness of this world. Such speculations are outside our qualifications. All we can do is hope that it all turns out for the best ...

When is wine not wine?

THE FIGURE OF speech that dominates this book is the speech that dominates this book is the erotema erotema, the official word for what we usually call a ”rhetorical question.”

We give you this bit of information as a sort of consolation prize because-unlike all the other questions, which we go on to answer-we really don't know the answer to this one.

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