Part 10 (1/2)

Rebecca puts her hand on his arm. ”The lady said she's waiting on someone. Let's keep it clean, okay?”

”I ain't going to start no trouble.” George looks at Rebecca, then at me. ”But if you change your mind, you know where I am.”

”I'll remember that.” I pick up my beer and head for another open spot at the bar, finding a safe-looking s.p.a.ce between a middle-aged woman with no makeup and a skinny kid with a crew cut. I slide up on the stool and check my watch. It's 7:15.

I watch Rebecca take orders and pour drinks. Her hair is in her eyes and the front of her blue b.u.t.ton-down s.h.i.+rt is soaked with G.o.d knows what, but I can't take my eyes off her. She's working the crowd like a good politician, and every time one of those gleaming smiles falls my way, blood rushes to my headand elsewhere.

Every minute or two, she looks at the employee entrance and then at the clock on the neon Miller Lite sign. Time keeps ticking away, but there's no evidence of the back-up bartender.

At 7:40, she brings me a clean mug. ”Sorry this is taking so long.

He should be here any minute. How about another beer?”

”We can make it some other time. Besides, you look exhausted.”

Rebecca blows a strand of hair from her eyes. ”I've been here since six this morning, and it's been this busy since lunch. There's an insurance convention at the civic center.” She leans close and whispers, ”These people are more interested in getting drunk than going to an insurance seminar.”

”Do you blame them?” I breathe her in again before slipping off the stool and pus.h.i.+ng the empty mug toward her. ”You've had a bad day. I should go on home.”

Rebecca puts her hand on mine. ”Please don't go yet.”

Something in her eyes says there's more to this evening than I thought, and as she lets go of my hand, I feel a spark skip between us.

Could be my imagination, but I slip back up on the stool and tap the empty mug. ”One more, but promise me if you're too tired, we'll call it off and shoot for another time.”

”Promise.” She crosses her heart before turning away.

By eight, the bar is packed, and there's still no sign of the bartender. The geek in the aviator gla.s.ses is trying to pick up the middle-aged woman. He starts by asking her if she'd like another drink. She says she just got one, but she'll take another round when she finishes.

He asks her if she comes here much, and she replies once or twice a month. The geek says he's glad he stopped in. Says it's his lucky day to meet a woman as pretty as her. She giggles and thanks him.

62.

If this guy can relate to a woman, surely I can, but the geek has one thing on mehe's not afraid to try. She could have shot him down, made him feel like a loser for even trying, but he didn't let that stop him.

He marched right up to her and struck up a conversation.

Wonder if I should tell Rebecca I'm interested in going out with her, as a date instead of as pals? I imagine her throwing her arms around me and saying that's what she's been hoping for. She kisses me and leads me to her bedroom, a romantic candlelit chamber with a canopy bed and a chilled bottle of champagne. She teases my lips with plump red strawberries while erotic strains of soft jazz drift over our naked bodies.

Then I imagine her getting a disgusted look on her face and calling me a deviant who needs to be locked up. She slaps me and says she'll rent billboard s.p.a.ce and plaster my name all over town as a lesbian masher.

I s.h.i.+ver and take a long gulp of beer. I don't expect either scenario would be exactly accurate, but the visions keep my brain seesawing till I feel sick.

It's 8:20 and Rebecca brings me another drink. ”Sorry about this.”

Between the beer and my indecent daydream, I'm starting to sweat.

I try to smile, but my lips stick to my teeth. ”I'm fine.”

She looks downhearted. ”Maybe we should make it another time. I hate to keep you waiting like this.”

”Sure, but I think I'll hang out for a while anyway. Entertaining crowd tonight.” Taking a sip of beer, I glance around as if amused by the drunken insurance agents and college kids, but her grin seems to say she's knows why I'm staying.

”Good. Maybe Rich will show up before you leave.” She turns away and takes a drink order from a balding man in a blue sport coat.

By 8:55 I'm feeling a little light-headed and decide to pack it in.

Looks like the elusive Rich won't show, and I'll be driving home early.

Another night shot to h.e.l.l.

However, at nine, as I push my mug away, a boy in baggy chinos and a Choppy's logo sweats.h.i.+rt rushes in, ducks behind the bar, and taps Rebecca's shoulder.

Rebecca hands him a towel before catching my eye.

Maybe I'll stick around a little longer.

CHAPTER 13.

Like an infant forced from the security of her mother's womb, I was blinded and confused by my birth. Everything was different. People I'd known all my life looked different, like zombies unaware of the pleasures I'd experienced. The air smelled fresher. Even food didn't taste the same.

But the things around me hadn't changed. I had, and something in my chest longed for the familiar safety of the place where I'd been for so long. Yet another, stronger part yearned to breathe free and bask in the new sensations flooding my senses.

I was obsessed with Lora. Every time I looked at her, I wanted to take her in my arms. The inexplicable need to touch her haunted my thoughts, robbing me of sleep and the desire to eat. The emptiness in my stomach wouldn't be satiated with mere food.

I needed Lora.

We hadn't even kissed that day in her bedroom, and that bothered me. Would she have kissed me if her mother hadn't barged in, or was kissing too personal? Was it something she saved for Jock and wouldn't share with me?

I considered the possibilities, bouncing them around over and over in my head. Maybe Lora had had a wet dream the night before, and I'd happened to be around to ease the frustration. She could've been testing me, trying to find out if I had a kinky bone in my demure body. Maybe Jock wasn't giving her what she needed, and she'd wanted to feel someone else's touch without technically cheating on him with another boy. All these notions played against the one thing I wished forthat Lora wanted me.