Part 69 (2/2)
He remained not only to tea, but to dinner; and during the evening conversation strayed over many subjects.
He was naturally reticent, and greatly disliked talking about himself.
But when he was with Madeline all reticence disappeared. She was the warm sun that thawed the ice. He would have deemed it impossible once that he could have told anyone of his spiritual struggles, of the mental strain and agony through which he pa.s.sed before his feet touched the rock. But Madeline was like a second self; there was nothing he wanted to hide from her.
Before the evening was out he found himself discussing the moral effects of materialism.
”It takes away the moral basis of conduct,” he said, in reply to one of her questions. ”I found myself losing the true sense of right and wrong--_as_ right and wrong. Things might be wise or foolish, profitable or unprofitable, politic or impolitic; but right and wrong were becoming meaningless words in any moral sense. If there is no G.o.d there is no moral law, and the highest authority is the State.”
”But materialists are sometimes very good people?” she questioned.
”Yes, that is true; but not because of their philosophy, but in spite of it. And yet is not their goodness mainly negative? Do they build hospitals, or endow charities, or sacrifice themselves in fighting the battles of Temperance and peace and purity? I speak from experience; it dulls the moral sensibilities. For a man to lose his sense of G.o.d is to lose his best. The n.o.blest work of the world is done by the men who believe, who endure as seeing Him who is invisible.”
”Then you think if you had remained a materialist----”
”I should have perished,” he interrupted, gravely, ”and I use that word in no thoughtless sense. But G.o.d sent me you----” then he paused, and for awhile silence fell.
When they began to talk again it was about some entirely different matter.
A few days later he called to say good-bye. He was going back to Reboth again the following day. For a full hour they chatted in the freest manner about matters of no importance. Then he rose suddenly and began to b.u.t.ton his coat. He shook hands with her in silence and reached the door. For a moment he paused with his hand on the k.n.o.b, then turned hurriedly round and faced her. His face was very pale, his lips were trembling.
”Madeline,” he said, ”I cannot go away without telling you that I love you. I belong to you. To you I owe more than life. I owe all that makes life worth living. You befriended me in my hour of greatest need. You led me out of darkness into the light. Will you be my inspiration still, my companion, the light of my eyes?”
He paused, almost breathless with the earnestness of his speech.
She stood looking at him, all the colour gone out of her face.
”Forgive me if I am presumptuous,” he went on, in lower tones. ”But I have loved you so long, so hopelessly, so pa.s.sionately, that I could not keep the truth back any longer. Yet if you say there is no hope for me I will not trouble you again.”
She came toward him slowly, a great light s.h.i.+ning in her eyes, and placed her hands in his.
”You are sure you are not mistaken?” she said, and her eyes grew full of tears.
”Mistaken? Oh! Madeline, if I were only so sure of heaven! I have loved you since the day you read 'Snow Bound' to me--loved you with an ever-growing pa.s.sion. I have never loved but you--I shall never love another!”
”Do not all men say that?” she questioned, with a pathetic smile.
”I know not what other men say,” he replied, earnestly. ”I only know that without you life will be dark. Oh! Madeline, have you no word of hope for me?”
”Do you need words?” she asked, smiling through her tears into his face.
”Have I not shown my heart all too plainly?”
”Do you mean that----”
But the sentence was never finished. Swiftly he gathered her in his arms till she could feel the beating of his heart against her own. Silently their lips met in a pa.s.sionate seal of love. Then he led her to a couch and sat down by her side, and for an hour they talked and the hour seemed but as the flying of a shuttle.
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