Part 7 (1/2)

”s.h.i.+t, I have to brush my teeth.”

”Why?”

”I can't have a meet with p.u.s.s.y on my breath, those f.u.c.ks will never let me live it down.” She howled with laughter and closed the door going back to her shower.

After I'd cleaned myself up, I headed back down where a couple more of my crew had arrived. I picked up on the atmosphere right away but since no one was saying anything, I decided to play their game.

I know my men, so I knew there was something brewing, but I could tell from the way they were trying so hard to appear relaxed that they needed time to tell me whatever it was that was on their minds. Each man had a beer so I reached into the cooler for one myself.

”d.a.m.n bro, the least you could do is change.” Stryder grinned at me before taking a sip of his beer.

”The f.u.c.k you talking about?” He gestured with his bottle and I looked down at my front, which was wet in all the places she'd rubbed herself. It didn't take a genius to figure out where the water had come from.

”Shut the f.u.c.k up. Now, somebody wanna tell me what the f.u.c.k is going on?

”It's about Deanna.” Stryder took the lead after a minute of silence.

”My ex, what about her?” I stood at attention, not that I really gave much of a f.u.c.k about her, but anything to do with her involved my kid. Ever since the BBQ a few weeks ago we've been steering clear of each other. She hadn't pulled any of her usual stunts, which come to think of it, was a bit off.

”She's dealing with that f.u.c.k again it looks like. Holly's detail picked up on it last week, but he's been changing up s.h.i.+t so we weren't sure it was really him until now. He changed his hair color and everything.”

”Show me.” I knew they wouldn't come to me with this s.h.i.+t without some sort of proof to back it up. Deke pa.s.sed me an envelope, which I tore into. There was a sheaf of doc.u.ments in there and I started with the first.

Three paragraphs in I was headed for the door. I didn't even take the time to tell Lily I was leaving out but called her from the truck as I pulled out of my driveway. In the rearview I saw my crew following behind as was to be expected.

”Hayden?” She answered on the first ring a sound of surprise in her voice. She was probably wondering why the f.u.c.k I was calling her from downstairs. ”Yeah baby sorry, something came up; I have to make a run right quick. Can you do me a solid and make sure princess's room is ready?”

”Yeah, sure; everything okay?”

”I'll fill you in when I get back babe. No driving and talking remember?”

”Okay, see you soon.”

I reached my destination in twenty minutes and slammed out of the truck. I was beyond p.i.s.sed but kept myself in check. I rarely let my kid see the ugly side of me. At three years old her world is nothing but ponies and b.u.t.terflies. It's one of the reasons I work my a.s.s off doing what I do, so she never wants for anything, neither material nor emotional. It would be really f.u.c.ked for me to take care only of the external s.h.i.+t and f.u.c.k her up internally.

I knocked on the door and rang the bell to my old home even though I still held a key. It had been my decision to leave my kid in her family home but the s.h.i.+t was still in my name because I'd beaten Deanna's a.s.s in the divorce. She didn't get s.h.i.+t from me, and since there was no proof that I was a neglectful parent she couldn't fight for child support.

I make sure my kid was well taken care of in all ways, that's why I'm here now.

”Hayden, what're you doing here?” She opened the door with that slick smile of hers that had caught me off guard when I was too young, dumb and f.u.c.king h.o.r.n.y to know any better. Now it just made my blood run cold.

I handed her the envelope without a word and moved past her in the doorway. ”What is this?” I didn't bother to answer her; my mind was on one f.u.c.king thing and one thing only.

”Daddy, daddy.” My lil bit came bounding into the room pigtails flying, her cheeky grin brightening up her face.

”Come on Princess, you and daddy are gonna go for a ride.”

”Wait a minute, you can't just barge in here and take her in the middle of the night.” She tried standing in my way as I opened the door and beckoned one of the guys over.

I handed Holly off to Deke who started tickling her to sidetrack her from the drama about to unfold.

”I warned you that if I found out that you've had that f.u.c.k anywhere near my kid I'd bury you.” She tried pulling on my s.h.i.+rt as I turned to leave.

”You can't do this, you have someone in your life why can't I?”

”Bulls.h.i.+t, you've had plenty since I ditched your a.s.s and before come to think of it.” Her face paled and she took a step back.

”Oh yeah, I know all about your bed hopping and I didn't give a f.u.c.k because I don't give a f.u.c.k about you. As long as you kept that s.h.i.+t away from my kid I could care less. Now you've crossed the f.u.c.king line. Not only does he have a record, he's a violent f.u.c.k who likes to beat up on women and children. I told you this s.h.i.+t months ago and you swore you got rid of him. That's the only reason I didn't take her then.

If you're that f.u.c.king desperate go for it, but she won't be a part of it; your choice.” I left her standing there because there was nothing more to be said. My kid's not gonna be a f.u.c.king statistic. I've gone above and beyond to ensure her safety the best I could. I've taken measures not even her mother knew about, and that's how my guys were able to catch this s.h.i.+t before it was too late.

When I'd first made the decision to walk away from her, I'd come up with an idea. It was the only way I could have a peace of mind while not being there everyday with my practically newborn baby girl. I'd sent Deanna to her mother's for a couple of weeks, never letting on what I was up to.

While they were gone, I'd done some repairs and other s.h.i.+t to hide up my true purpose. It had taken everything in me not to wire the whole house but I couldn't justify infringing on Deanna's privacy like that. I planted eyes in my daughter's room though, and could give a f.u.c.k what anyone thought of that.

In my mind, since I couldn't be there, that was the next best thing. I also rigged her window so that an alarm would go off at my place if anyone tried opening it from the outside. Anything and everything I could think of for my little girl's well being I put into effect back then, and have upgraded a lot since then.

By the time they came back and I served Deanna with divorce papers, I'd already taken care of my daughter's safety. I'd seen too much s.h.i.+t when I was on the force and later as a Steel and I'm not taking any chances. You can't really prepare for everything; life's always throwing f.u.c.k you b.a.l.l.s at you. Some things come out of left field and blindside your a.s.s on a good day, but my plan is to cover as much s.h.i.+t as I can for my little princess. That was daddy's promise the first time I ever held her tiny little form in my arms and I mean to keep that s.h.i.+t.

Saying that my life became a s.h.i.+t storm after that is putting s.h.i.+t mildly. Instead of backing down and getting her head straight Deanna, for the first few weeks at least, decided to play hardball, or what she thought was hard. She held to the idea that as an adult she could do whatever she wanted with her life, which was never at issue in the first d.a.m.n place. Sometimes I think this trick is on something because she doesn't understand so good.

I kept conversation with her a.s.s to a minimum. I was more about seeing for myself if she'd ever get her head out of her a.s.s long enough to get her s.h.i.+t together. She was all torn the f.u.c.k up that Lily was now spending more and more time with Holly which as a fair man I can see how that s.h.i.+t would sting. In all honesty I don't want and won't ever f.u.c.king allow some other d.i.c.k to have any part in raising my kid. How the f.u.c.k I'm supposed to deal with that s.h.i.+t if that day ever comes, is left to be seen.

I don't try to force my kid to call Lily mom, but I do like the fact that they get along. With that said my little girl misses her mom and whenever she asked for her in those first few weeks it killed me not to give her what she wanted. But there was no way in h.e.l.l I was letting Deanna have her unless she figured her s.h.i.+t out. She shouldn't be messing with an a.s.shole like this guy anyway, not with the sheet he had.

After she wised up to the fact that her tactics weren't working or her f.u.c.king Xanax kicked in, she started acting right. Instead of yelling and screaming on the phone or coming to my f.u.c.king door with threats against my woman she was actually calm and had gone so far as to apologize to Lily. Lily on the other hand had told Deanna point blank to kiss her a.s.s and get f.u.c.ked, along with some other choice things. What can I say? Apparently she had some s.h.i.+t of her own that had been building up over the years.

I caved and let her have Holly on a trial basis after that, but I had made up my mind sort of, to keep my kid with me from now on. Something about the situation with this guy was bothering the f.u.c.k out of me. He seemed familiar somehow but for some reason I couldn't put my finger on it. But my radar was going haywire whenever he came up so I knew there had to be something there.

Lily and I had been cruising along and even when we had lil bit with us nothing had really changed in our home. We still f.u.c.ked like tomorrow never comes and our s.h.i.+t was tight. She was talking weddings and honeymoons and s.h.i.+t, which I wanted no f.u.c.king part of. s.h.i.+t was a minefield for men if you ask me. But she seemed happy enough to deal with it on her own with her girls and her mom.

Tonight was one of those rare nights that I was actually allowing Holly to sleep in her old bed back at the house. She'd begged and pleaded to spend time over there with her mom and I didn't see the harm so I let her have her way. Lily and I were having a quiet night for once. There were no cases in the works right now thank f.u.c.k.

The neighborhood we'd helped clean up had been relatively crime free for the better part of a month after we'd rounded up the f.u.c.ks and handed them over to the cops all neatly tied with a bow. Turned out it was a good thing we stepped in when we did. The f.u.c.kers had a cache of a.s.sault rifles, and were stockpiling more ammo than a battalion. Apparently they had ideas about taking over certain areas of the state by force or some other f.u.c.ked up, not well thought out plan. Dumb f.u.c.ks.

Anyway it was quiet and I was relaxing in bed watching her putter around, as she likes to when she has nothing better to do. She was also driving me crazy with her hair swinging down her back wearing boy shorts or whatever the f.u.c.k she calls them with a little silky looking top that hugged her curves and made her t.i.ts look umm.

It was as I watched her bend over to pick something up off the floor that I realized what had been bothering me for the last few days.

”Babe you skipped a pill or something?”

”No why, what's the matter?” She picked her head up and looked at me in confusion.

”I feel off, only ever felt this way once in my life, that's when Holly was conceived. Weirdest f.u.c.king feeling in the world for a man so you know I'm not ever gonna forget that s.h.i.+t.” If my head hadn't been up my a.s.s I would've caught on sooner, but that's the only thing it cold be now that I think about it. The queasy feeling, the tiredness in the middle of the f.u.c.king day for no d.a.m.n reason, oh yeah, she was breeding.

”But I have been taking them, I wouldn't just not take them without telling you.”