Volume I Part 36 (1/2)
[Footnote 5: 'Marmion', Canto II. stanza x.x.xi.]
[Footnote 6: See stanzas ”To a Lady on being asked my Reason for Quitting England in the Spring” ('Poems', vol. i. p. 282).]
105.--To the Hon. Augusta Leigh.
[Ld. Chichester's, Stratton Street, London.]
Newstead Abbey, Notts., [Wednesday], Novr. 30th, 1808.
My Dearest Augusta,--I return you my best thanks for making me an uncle, and forgive the s.e.x this time; but the next _must_ be a nephew.
You will be happy to hear my Lancas.h.i.+re property is likely to prove extremely valuable; indeed my pecuniary affairs are altogether far superior to my expectations or any other person's. If I would _sell_, my income would probably be six thousand per annum; but I will not part at least with Newstead, or indeed with the other, which is of a nature to increase in value yearly. I am living here _alone_, which suits my inclinations better than society of any kind. Mrs. Byron I have shaken off for two years, and I shall not resume her yoke in future, I am afraid my disposition will suffer in your estimation; but I never can forgive that woman, or breathe in comfort under the same roof.
I am a very unlucky fellow, for I think I had naturally not a bad heart; but it has been so bent, twisted, and trampled on, that it has now become as hard as a Highlander's heelpiece.
I do not know that much alteration has taken place in my person, except that I am grown much thinner, and somewhat taller! I saw Col.
Leigh at Brighton in July, where I should have been glad to have seen you; I only know your husband by sight, though I am acquainted with many of the Tenth. Indeed my relations are those whom I know the least, and in most instances, I am not very anxious to improve the acquaintance. I hope you are quite recovered, I shall be in town in January to take my seat, and will call, if convenient; let me hear from you before.
[Signature cut off, and over the page is, in Mrs. Leigh's writing, this endors.e.m.e.nt: ”Sent to Miss Alderson to go to Germany, May 29th, 1843.”]
106.--To the Hon. Augusta Leigh.
[Ld. Chichester's, Stratton Street, London.]
Newstead Abbey, Notts., Decr. 14th, 1808.
My Dearest Augusta,--When I stated in my last, that my intercourse with the world had hardened my heart, I did not mean from any matrimonial disappointment, no, I have been guilty of many absurdities, but I hope in G.o.d I shall always escape that worst of evils, Marriage. I have no doubt there are exceptions, and of course include you amongst them, but you will recollect, that ”_exceptions only prove the Rule_.”
I live here much in my own manner, that is, _alone_, for I could not bear the company of my best friend, above a month; there is such a sameness in mankind upon the whole, and they grow so much more disgusting every day, that, were it not for a portion of Ambition, and a conviction that in times like the present we ought to perform our respective duties, I should live here all my life, in unvaried Solitude. I have been visited by all our n.o.bility and Gentry; but I return no visits. Joseph Murray is at the head of my household, poor honest fellow! I should be a great Brute, if I had not provided for him in the manner most congenial to his own feelings, and to mine. I have several horses, and a considerable establishment, but I am not addicted to hunting or shooting. I hate all field sports, though a few years since I was a tolerable adept in the _polite_ arts of Foxhunting, Hawking, Boxing, etc., etc. My Library is rather extensive, (and as you perhaps know) I am a mighty Scribbler; I flatter myself I have made some improvements in Newstead, and, as I am independent, I am happy, as far as any person unfortunate enough to be born into this world, can be said to be so.
I shall be glad to hear from you when convenient, and beg you to believe me,
Very sincerely yours,
BYRON.
107.--To John Hanson.
Newstead Abbey, Notts., Dec. 17, 1808.