Part 24 (1/2)

But Gil was having none of it. Instead he whirled in a tight circle and sprinted for the door to the hallway. I grabbed for him again and managed to hook my fingers into the waistband of his sweats and pulled hard, but he was carrying way too much momentum; he jerked me forward but tripped in the process and I crashed into him.

Gilley went down with arms flailing, which was unfortunate because he caught all the porcelain containers along the counter holding flour, sugar, dry pasta, and oatmeal flakes. The containers went cras.h.i.+ng to the floor, where they broke and their contents exploded. Gilley and I also went down, and I squeezed my eyes shut just before I hit, knowing it was going to hurt.

With a jolt I hit the floor and heard the cras.h.i.+ng of plates, containers, and foodstuff as everything in and on them launched like tiny missiles and gunpowder into the air, landing everywhere ... and I do mean every everywhere.

I felt small splats of doughnut, custard filling, pasta, and clumps of sugar hit the top of my hair, shoulders, and back while I sucked in a lungful of flour. Coughing and sputtering, I rolled off Gilley and sat up, blinking furiously as the dust began to settle and I realized just how bad a mess we'd made.

”Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” wailed a familiar voice. wailed a familiar voice.

I cringed and slowly lifted my gaze to see Anya standing in the doorway of the back door with the most horrified look on her face, her robe splattered with bits of custard and flour.

I immediately pointed to Gilley, who was already pointing at me.

”He did it!”

”She did it!”

Anya opened and closed her mouth, unable to speak more than what she'd already exclaimed.

”Holy ...,” I heard Heath say, and I turned my head to see that he'd come in from the sitting room to see what h.e.l.l had broken loose.

I wiped my hands together and attempted to stand, but the floor was really slippery and it was a struggle. ”We'll clean it up,” I told our host quickly. ”And we'll replace everything we broke.”

Anya's lower lip trembled, and she pointed to the broken pieces of the pastry plate. ”That was me mum's!” she yelled. ”You've broken a family heirloom!”

Aw, c.r.a.p.

Gilley stood too and I saw out the corner of my eye that he removed a bit of custard off his s.h.i.+rt to pop into his mouth. ”Sorry,” he muttered, and looked down at the ground. ”We're really, really sorry, Anya.”

Anya's look of horror turned angry then. ”Out!” she ordered, pointing to the hall.

I hung my head in shame. ”I'm so so sorry,” I tried, really looking at the mess, which extended to all four corners of the floor, to every wall, and even up to the ceiling. I knew it would take hours to clean. ”We'll change and then be back down to mop it all up, Anya. And we'll replace your heirloom with anything you'd like. Something from Harrods dot com or something else really lovely. Whatever the cost, we'll pay it.” sorry,” I tried, really looking at the mess, which extended to all four corners of the floor, to every wall, and even up to the ceiling. I knew it would take hours to clean. ”We'll change and then be back down to mop it all up, Anya. And we'll replace your heirloom with anything you'd like. Something from Harrods dot com or something else really lovely. Whatever the cost, we'll pay it.”

”Save your money,” she spat. ”And pack your things. I won't be hosting the likes of you in my establishment one moment longer!”

I gasped and stared at her. She was kicking us out?

”You're kicking us out?” Gilley whined.

”Aye,” she said, her hands finding her hips and her brow set angrily.

”But who's going to cook for-”

”Of course we'll go,” I said quickly, grabbing Gilley around the shoulders and placing my hand over his mouth while my eyes told him to shut up. ”And we'll replace everything we've broken. And if you'd like us to stay and help to clean this up before we leave, we certainly will.”

Anya crossed her arms and sighed. ”No,” she said. ”I think it best if you lot take your leave and never come back.”

I nodded and continued to grip Gilley around the shoulders, tugging him down the hall, where we dripped flour and sugar all over the floor.

”Hey,” Heath said gently, moving in behind us. ”Maybe you two better strip down before you go upstairs.”

”I'm not wearing underwear,” Gil said.

I turned away and made a face. ”Aw, jeez, Gil! Did you have to share that?”

”Well, I could have kept it to myself, M. J., and just allowed my junk to fall out when I disrobed, but I thought you might like a little warning!”

I eyed Heath, who was still huddled in his blanket. ”Can I have that, please?”

He gave it to me and I held it up as a screen for Gilley while he took off his clothes; then I handed it to him so that he could wear it toga-style. ”I'll be up in a minute,” I told him, before gathering up his clothes and moving out to the lawn, where I gave them a good shake. I also took off my own sweats.h.i.+rt and beat what I could off it, and wiped down my jeans.

As I was going back inside, I noticed a letter taped to the door. It was addressed to ”the Americans” again, and I peeled it off the door and hurried inside.

Heath had a broom and a dustpan and was sweeping up the mess we'd tracked into the hallway. Every time he moved the broom, I saw him wince. ”Hey!” I said, stuffing the envelope in my back pocket and hurrying forward to grab the broom from him. ”Let me do that.”

Heath gave up the broom without argument. ”I should go upstairs and pack my things.”

I held my arm out to block him from moving in the direction of the stairs. ”Uh-uh,” I said firmly. ”You're going back to the sitting room, and hanging out by the fire until Gil and I get everyone packed, loaded, and in the van.” Heath looked like he was about to argue with me, so I added, ”And that's an order, buddy.”

He frowned but turned and shuffled back to the sitting room.

After I'd swept up the mess, I dashed upstairs, where I found Gilley fresh from the shower. ”You took a shower?” I asked, amazed that after what he'd done and how angry he'd made Anya, he would have the nerve to take the time to bathe.

”I was covered in sugar,” he complained, rubbing a towel over his wet hair.

I resisted the urge to smack him across the head ... but just barely ... and suggested he get busy helping me pack.

It took us twenty minutes, but eventually Gil and I had our things ready to go, plus Heath's and Gopher's. Once the van was loaded and warming up, I came in to get Heath and pay our tab.

”You ready?” I asked him.

He nodded and got up stiffly. ”By the way,” I asked, ”how's your back?”

”Hurts,” he admitted.

”Take a pain pill, then,” I suggested.

”I can't take it on an empty stomach. I was going to take one at breakfast, but we got sidetracked.”

I turned around to glare at Gilley, who finally decided to look guilty. ”Sorry,” he mumbled.

”Can you help Heath to the van? I have to settle our bill,” I said.

”No you don't,” said Heath. ”I've already signed for it.”

Now it was my turn to feel guilty. ”We'll settle up our share at the next place we stay,” I promised him.

”I'm not worried about it.”

Gilley stepped forward and offered his arm. ”Here, buddy,” he said. ”Let's get you to the van and then to someplace where they serve a nice big breakfast.”