Part 7 (2/2)

Alexander's first tutor was Leonidas (no relation to the Spartan king), a gruff old man hired to toughen him up. One day, when making a sacrifice to the G.o.ds, Alexander threw too much incense into the fire, and Leonidas scolded him, reminding him that incense was expensive: ”When you conquer the lands where spice grows, you can use as much as you like, but until then, don't waste it!” Alexander never forgot this minor reprimand. Fifteen years later, when he conquered Giza (the spice warehouse of the ancient world), he sent Leonidas eighteen tons of frankincense and myrrh, worth its weight in gold, with a note thanking his old tutor for inspiring him as a boy...and advising him not to be such a cheap-skate.

SPIN CITY.

In addition to conquering the world and everything, Alexander the Great was an amateur city planner, and not a bad one at that. His pet project in northern Egypt, Alexandria, became one of the great cities of the ancient world-and indeed the modern world as well.Alexander chose as the location for the city a place with symbolic significance on the western branch of the Nile Delta, on an isthmus shaped like a Macedonian military cloak. Walking around the site, he personally laid out the defensive fortifications with chalk. He also chose the locations of the central market, the docks and harbor, and a slew of temples to both Greek and Egyptian G.o.ds, including the G.o.ddess Isis. To connect the city to an offsh.o.r.e island called Pharos, he ordered the construction of a stone causeway about 450 feet long. Later the Great Lighthouse, one of the seven wonders of the ancient world, would be constructed on Pharos.By midday the young conqueror ran out of chalk, but he refused to take a break. So his entourage provided him with barley flour (originally intended to feed their servants) to finish laying out the city walls. Of course, seagulls immediately descended on the free meal, and Alexander freaked out, interpreting this as a bad omen. But his clever Greek soothsayer, Aristander, put a good spin on it: just as it fed the gulls, the city would provide ”abundant and helpful resources, feeding men of every nation.”

After Egypt, Alexander chased Darius III into modern-day Iran and Afghanistan. The chase ended in Iran when Darius was finally betrayed by one of his own satraps, Bessus, who a.s.sa.s.sinated the Persian king, figuring it would please Alexander. But Bessus figured wrong. Alexander-a king himself, after all-was horrified to see royal blood spilled. A cla.s.sy guy, he covered the Persian king's body in his own cloak, handed Bessus over to Darius's family for execution, and ordered a lavish funeral for the king. He also married a few persian Princesses to cement his control.But Alexander was about to learn even his power was limited, in the only defeat he ever suffered, ironically delivered by his own troops.When his Macedonians arrived in northern India in 326 BCE, they had been away from home for eight years. They were entering a place the Greeks considered the edge of the world, where diseases such as malaria began to take a toll. After defeating an Indian army (including war elephants!) by the Indus River, they simply refused to follow Alexander any farther. He reluctantly led the army on the fifteen-hundred-mile trek back to Babylon, his new imperial capital.The mutiny was a discouraging setback for Alexander, who was also bored by the administrative duties of imperial government; he just wasn't made to stay in one place. Surveying a swamp-draining project in southern Mesopotamia in 323 BCE, he contracted a fever (probably malaria) and a few weeks later, the conqueror of the known world was dead. He was just thirty-three years old.

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WHO'S UP, WHO'S DOWN Rome: WAY UP WAY UP Alexander's empire didn't last, but it laid the groundwork for the most successful empire in history: Rome.Culturally and militarily, Rome was a notch below Macedonia through most of this period; Alexander didn't even think to send an amba.s.sador to the little town on seven hills in central Italy. But the Romans were descended from heroes (they were pretty sure) and were bound for greatness.According to Roman legend, the city was founded by refugees from Troy, the city besieged by Mycenaean Greeks in Homer's epic poem The Iliad. The Iliad. After Troy burned, around 1200 BCE, a Trojan hero, Aeneas, supposedly left western Turkey and settled in central Italy. Genetic evidence (from cows!) supports the ancient Roman founding myth, suggesting that Trojan refugees may indeed have settled there, bringing their livestock with them. After Troy burned, around 1200 BCE, a Trojan hero, Aeneas, supposedly left western Turkey and settled in central Italy. Genetic evidence (from cows!) supports the ancient Roman founding myth, suggesting that Trojan refugees may indeed have settled there, bringing their livestock with them.Several groups occupied central Italy, including the Etruscans, distant cousins of the Romans. Like extended families everywhere, the Romans and Etruscans weren't friendly. In the early days the Etruscans had the upper hand, and Etruscan kings ruled Rome for almost two hundred years. But when the Romans gave the Etruscans the Italian boot in 509 BCE, the tables began to turn.

ETRUSCANS/SNACSURTE.

The Etruscans are one of history's more mysterious peoples. Unlike almost any other culture in the world, they wrote ”back and forth” across the page-from left to right for the first line, and right to left for the second. Weirder yet, the ”backward” lines were literally written in reverse, with letters appearing as if reflected in a mirror.

The changes began at home, with the establishment of a republican political system based on elections. It consisted of the three-hundred-man Senate, chosen from the city's ”patrician” aristocracy, and popular a.s.semblies open to members of any social cla.s.s. Each year the Senate chose two consuls, responsible for military affairs. While more democratic than most governments of the day, Rome's voting system-like any good voting system-was rigged so the lower cla.s.ses got fewer votes than the well-to-do.Already feeling imperial, the Roman Republic turned to its neighbors: first neighbors in Italy, then the islands of Corsica, Sardinia, and Sicily. But it wasn't easy, especially after Roman involvement in Sicily brought them into direct confrontation with Carthage, a powerful rival to the south.Since its founding by Phoenician sea merchants in 814 BCE, Carthage had come to control a powerful maritime empire covering much of the western Mediterranean, including the north coast of Africa, Spain, and Sicily. When the first ”Punic War” between Rome and Carthage began, in 264 BCE, Carthage was larger and more powerful than Rome. But the famed Roman legion helped Rome prevail.During the Second Punic War beginning in 218 BCE (yes, the one with the elephants in the Alps), the Carthaginian general Hannibal set out to avenge his city's earlier defeat, and he wasn't s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around. When he annihilated fifty thousand Roman troops at the battle of Cannae in 216 BCE, it became clear this was the most serious threat Rome had ever faced. But the Romans refused to give in, and by 202 BCE they had pushed Hannibal back to Africa, where the consul Scipio defeated him in what is now Tunisia.

Carthago delenda est! (Carthage must be destroyed!)-Cato the Elder

At this point, the Roman Empire was officially the dominant power in the western Mediterranean, and was quickly drawn into the complex wheelings and dealings of the eastern Mediterranean political scene. Here Alexander the Great's death in 323 BCE had left a rather confusing situation, which only worsened in the following century. Figuring it was too big for one man to rule-and hoping to avoid a civil war-Alexander's generals had divided his empire into three main parts: Seleucus got Mesopotamia and Persia (the ”Seleucid” kingdom), Ptolemy got Egypt (the ”Ptolemaic” kingdom), and a third general, Antigonus, got the rest. But these kingdoms were soon feuding with one another anyway (no surprise).

I foresee a great funeral contest over my body.-Alexander the Great's last words

Ironically, Roman expansion was fueled in part by the Roman Senate's desire to maintain a balance of power in different parts of the Mediterranean-always, of course, on Roman terms. Sometimes this involved switching sides when local allies got too strong. Other times the locals asked for it: in 89 BCE, for example, Mithridates of Pontus ordered the ma.s.sacre of 80,000 Roman citizens in Asia Minor. This was, of course, the last mistake Mithridates ever made.

EVEN THE ROMANS DIDN'T SPEAK LATIN...

As Rome expanded, its job was made easier by one of Alexander's key legacies: the common Greek language and culture of the ruling cla.s.ses. In fact, the Romans adopted Greek as their official language in the eastern Mediterranean and employed the Greek elite to keep things running smoothly.

THE QUOTABLE JULIUS CAESAR.

”I came, I saw, I conquered.””I would rather be first in a village than second in Rome.””If you must break the law, do it to seize power: in all other cases observe it.””Men are quick to believe what they wish were true.”

In sharp contrast to the three kingdoms fighting in the eastern Mediterranean, the areas to the west, what are now Spain and France, were politically and technologically primitive-in a word, ”barbaric.” Dealing with backward Celtic tribesmen, the Romans weren't afraid to crack the whip (burn villages, lay waste to the countryside, crucify a couple thousand people...whatever) to establish their authority.Enter Julius Caesar, a precocious Roman senator who got himself elected consul in 59 BCE and invaded Gaul (modern France) a year later. Caesar's amazing conquests made him amazingly rich; under Roman law, successful generals got to keep most of the loot from foreign wars. Caesar used his incredible cash haul to buy political influence and gain control of the Senate. (Democracy and political corruption: two great tastes that taste great together.)In fact, Caesar's mind-boggling wealth allowed him to transform Rome from a worn-out republic into a one-man party. (Literally: free banquets, games, and public festivals were central to his strategy.) With the Roman public solidly behind him, his political opponents feared he would next declare himself king, Rome's big no-no. And the rest, as they say, is history: Caesar was stabbed to death on the floor of the Senate in 44 BCE, in a scene immortalized by Shakespeare and a number of so-so movies.Ironically, the a.s.sa.s.sination led to the thing the pro-republican conspirators feared most: the establishment of a true dictators.h.i.+p under Caesar's adopted son, Octavian, who was later voted the super-hero t.i.tle of Caesar Augustus by a brown-nosing Senate. In the Pax Romana, or Roman Peace, the entire Mediterranean world was united under Roman rule. But the Roman Republic was dead; from now on, one man would rule the Roman Empire.Slaves: BRIEFLY UP, THEN RIGHT BACK DOWN BRIEFLY UP, THEN RIGHT BACK DOWN Spartacus, who was born north of Greece, in Thrace, received training in the Roman army as a barbarian ”auxiliary” (ally) before becoming a slave in 73 BCE. It's not clear why he was enslaved after serving Rome. However, his combat skills made him a natural candidate for the gladiator school at Capua, about one hundred miles from Rome.Here Spartacus and his fellow slaves learned how to entertain a Roman audience with dramatic hand-to-hand combat. Knowing they were going to their certain deaths, however, about eighty gladiators followed Spartacus into rebellion-using kitchen utensils as weapons.Before long they armed themselves with real weapons, slaughtering Roman soldiers who tried to stop them. Then they escaped to the countryside, where Spartacus incited a general slave uprising, attracting thousands of field workers to his cause. He led the rebel slaves to a mountaintop, where they built a fortified encampment.At first the Roman Senate viewed the uprising as a minor threat, but they soon learned better, and dispatched two commanders (praetors) to besiege the mountain and starve the slave army into submission. Spartacus launched a daring counterattack, ordering his soldiers to use vines to rappel down the side of the mountain.Of course the Roman Senate couldn't allow the slave rebellion to succeed, as the Roman economy was increasingly based on slavery. So they dispatched a new commander, Cra.s.sus, with twelve legions-a huge force-only to have the advance force of two legions annihilated by the slave army.Spartacus now led the rebels south, to Sicily, where he planned to rendezvous with pirates he'd hired to take them to safety. But the pirates never showed, and the slaves found themselves trapped on a narrow peninsula. (Lesson: never trust pirates.) Desperate, Spartacus decided he had no choice but to fight the Romans head on. Here the Romans finally defeated the rebel army, showing no mercy as they butchered sixty thousand runaway slaves, including women and children. Sixty-six hundred survivors were crucified along the Appian Way connecting Capua to Rome. However, the body of Spartacus was never found.Overthinking: UP-But What Does That Mean UP-But What Does That Mean?

Concurrent with the golden age of Athens, Greek thinkers produced thoughts so profound we call 'em cla.s.sics. Here's a quick run-down of the Cla.s.sics Club.Herac.l.i.tus, 535475 BCE. ” ”The only constant is change,” said Herac.l.i.tus, who also observed ”you can never step in the same river twice.” A native of Ephesus, an Ionian Greek city in Asia Minor, Herac.l.i.tus is considered by some the founder of the Western philosophical tradition. His major contribution was the notion that the universe is always in motion-not static and unchanging, as in most traditional worldviews. Its motion isn't chaotic, but is structured by laws and relations.h.i.+ps that human beings can understand using reason. Herac.l.i.tus was a mystical thinker who said that as part of the universe, we can comprehend its profound harmony if we look deep inside ourselves.

Anaxagoras, 500428 BCE. ” ”No matter how small the object, it is composed of something smaller. And no matter how large, it is part of something larger.” Also an Ionian Greek, Anaxagoras agreed with Herac.l.i.tus that the universe functions according to natural laws, adding that everything is made up of smaller const.i.tuents, which themselves are made up of even smaller things, etc., down to infinitesimally small essential units, which he called ”seeds.” For example, because it helps us grow, food must contain the ”seeds” of skin, bones, hair, and so on. Anaxagoras studied natural phenomena such as stars, meteors, storms, and rainbows to understand the rules governing them.

Democritus, 460370 BCE. ”Nothing exists except atoms and empty s.p.a.ce; everything else is opinion.” With his teacher Leucippus, Democritus invented the theory of ”atoms,” tiny, spherical particles that can't be further subdivided, resembling the ”seeds” of Anaxagoras. Democritus said atoms are always in motion, even in apparently solid objects; their interactions produce the physical properties we perceive with our senses. For example, a grape's ”flavor” is simply the result of its const.i.tuent atoms interacting with the atoms that make up our taste buds and saliva.

Zeno, 490430 BCE. ” ”The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.” Leave it to Zeno to sum up the meaning of life with a paradox. After all, he proved that nature was a lot more complicated then we think...because it's actually much simpler than it looks. Confused? Exactly! Exactly! Zeno's most famous paradox is the story of a race between Achilles and a tortoise. Achilles, who can run one thousand feet a minute, lets the one-foot-a-minute tortoise get a head start of one thousand feet. In his first minute, Achilles almost catches up with the tortoise, but in that time, the tortoise has moved forward another foot. In the next one-one thousandth of a minute, Achilles again arrives where the tortoise used to be-but the tortoise has again moved forward a tiny amount. Even though it makes no sense, it looks as if Achilles can never catch the tortoise. Why did Zeno pose this scenario, knowing its implications were false? Think about it. Zeno's most famous paradox is the story of a race between Achilles and a tortoise. Achilles, who can run one thousand feet a minute, lets the one-foot-a-minute tortoise get a head start of one thousand feet. In his first minute, Achilles almost catches up with the tortoise, but in that time, the tortoise has moved forward another foot. In the next one-one thousandth of a minute, Achilles again arrives where the tortoise used to be-but the tortoise has again moved forward a tiny amount. Even though it makes no sense, it looks as if Achilles can never catch the tortoise. Why did Zeno pose this scenario, knowing its implications were false? Think about it.

Socrates, 470-399 BCE. ” ”All I know is that I know nothing.” Socrates doubted that anybody can know the truth with absolute certainty. He focused on rhetoric, a sophisticated technique of verbal persuasion that Athenian orators used to convince their audiences of statements that weren't always true. Ironically, Socrates used the same rhetorical tricks in his critique (a sort of complicated philosophical joke, which most people didn't get). Even more ironically, he considered his skepticism a patriotic duty-even though it infuriated his fellow Athenians, since he was attacking the Athenian democracy. When Athens was defeated by Sparta in the Peloponnesian War, his criticisms made him an attractive scapegoat, and in 399 BCE, he was put on trial on the vague charge of ”corrupting the youth” with strange ideas. He was forced to commit suicide by drinking hemlock.

THE MUSIC OF THE WHAT?.

So what exactly is the ”music of the spheres”? Does it refer to actual music? And what the h.e.l.l are the spheres, anyway? We're not promising this explanation will make sense, but here goes...Beginning with the Greek mathematician Pythagoras, ancient philosophers said that the cosmos was made up of crystal spheres of increasing size, with the bigger ones enclosing the smaller ones like Russian nesting dolls. The sun, the moon, the planets, and the stars were all mounted on different rotating spheres, nearer or farther from the Earth. There were twenty-two spheres in all, including the nine spheres of the solar system.The Greeks said that the proportions of the spheres reflected divine ideals. Pythagoras studied triangles and circles because he believed that these perfect shapes (later called ”Platonic forms,” after Plato picked up the idea) had mystical importance. The same mystical proportions applied to every aspect of reality, including music and s.p.a.ce.According to the ancient Greeks, ”harmony” was closely linked to geometry, as both are ultimately based on combinations of whole numbers. Because the cosmic spheres were mathematically perfect, the Greeks believed their movement created musical harmony-even if humans couldn't hear it. Aristotle described the Pythagorean theory in these terms: ”The whole universe is constructed according to a musical scale...because it is both composed of numbers and organized numerically and musically.” Aristotle himself was skeptical, but Pythagoras practiced what he preached: at mystical ceremonies he used real musical performance to ”heal” his students from being out of sync with the universe-whatever that means.

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