Volume VIII Part 11 (2/2)

3. But there is another kind of sudden conversion, or rather what appears to be such, not uncommonly found, and which may be that to which St. Paul's conversion is to be referred, and which I proceed to describe.

When men change their religious opinions really and truly, it is not merely their opinions that they change, but their hearts; and this evidently is not done in a moment--it is a slow work; nevertheless, though gradual, the change is often not uniform, but proceeds, so to say, by fits and starts, being influenced by external events, and other circ.u.mstances. This we see in the growth of plants, for instance; it is slow, gradual, continual; yet one day by chance they grow more than another, they make a shoot, or at least we are attracted to their growth on that day by some accidental circ.u.mstance, and it remains on our memory. So with our souls: we all, by nature, are far from G.o.d; nay, and we have all characters to form, which is a work of time. All this must have a beginning; and those who are now leading religious lives have begun at different times. Baptism, indeed, is G.o.d's time, when He first gives us grace; but alas! through the perverseness of our will, we do not follow Him. There must be a time then for beginning.

Many men do not at all recollect any one marked and definite time _when_ they began to seek G.o.d. Others recollect a time, not, properly speaking, when they began, but when they made what may be called a shoot forward, the fact either being so, in consequence of external events, or at least for some reason or other their attention being called to it. Others, again, continue forming a religious character and religious opinions as the result of it, though holding at the same time some outward profession of faith inconsistent with them; as, for instance, suppose it has been their unhappy condition to be brought up as heathens, Jews, infidels, or heretics. They hold the notions they have been taught for a long while, not perceiving that the character forming within them is at variance with these, till at length the inward growth forces itself forward, forces on the opinions accompanying it, and the dead outward surface of error, which has no root in their minds, from some accidental occurrence, suddenly falls off; suddenly,--just as a building might suddenly fall, which had been going many years, and which falls at this moment rather than that, in consequence of some chance cause, as it is called, which we cannot detect.

Now in all these cases one point of time is often taken by religious men, as if the very time of conversion, and as if it were sudden, though really, as is plain, in none of them is there any suddenness in the matter. In the last of these instances, which might be in a measure, if we dare say it, St. Paul's case, the time when the formal outward profession of error fell off, is taken as the time of conversion. Others recollect the first occasion when any deep serious thought came into their minds, and reckon this as the date of their inward change. Others, again, recollect some intermediate point of time when they first openly professed their faith, or dared do some n.o.ble deed for Christ's sake.

I might go on to show more particularly how what I have said applies to St. Paul; but as this would take too much time I will only observe generally, that there was much in St. Paul's character which was not changed on his conversion, but merely directed to other and higher objects, and purified; it was his creed that was changed, and his soul by regeneration; and though he was sinning most grievously and awfully when Christ appeared to him from heaven, he evidenced then, as afterwards, a most burning energetic zeal for G.o.d, a most scrupulous strictness of life, an abstinence from all self-indulgence, much more from all approach to sensuality or sloth, and an implicit obedience to what he considered G.o.d's will. It was pride which was his inward enemy--pride which needed an overthrow. He acted rather as a defender and protector, than a minister of what he considered the truth; he relied on his own views; he was positive and obstinate; he did not seek for light as a little child; he did not look out for a Saviour who was to come, and he missed Him when He came.

But how great was the change in these respects when he became a servant of Him whom he had persecuted! As he had been conspicuous for a proud confidence in self, on his privileges, on his knowledge, on his birth, on his observances, so he became conspicuous for his humility. What self-abas.e.m.e.nt, when he says, ”I am the least of the Apostles, that am not meet to be called an Apostle, because I persecuted the Church of G.o.d; but by the grace of G.o.d I am what I am.” What keen and bitter remembrance of the past, when he says, ”Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious; but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief[3].” Ah! what utter self-abandonment, what scorn and hatred of self, when he, who had been so pleased to be a Hebrew of Hebrews, and a Pharisee, bore to be called, nay gloried for Christ's sake in being called, an apostate, the most odious and miserable of t.i.tles!--bore to be spurned and spit upon as a renegade, a traitor, a false-hearted and perfidious, a fallen, a lost son of his Church; a shame to his mother, and a curse to his countrymen. Such was the light in which those furious zealots looked on the great Apostle, who bound themselves together by an oath that they would neither eat nor drink till they had killed him. It was their justification in their own eyes, that he was a ”pestilent fellow,” a ”stirrer of seditions,” and an abomination amid sacred inst.i.tutions which G.o.d had given.

And, lastly, what supported him in this great trial? that special mercy which converted him, which he, and he only, saw--the Face of Jesus Christ. That all-pitying, all-holy eye, which turned in love upon St.

Peter when he denied Him, and thereby roused him to repentance, looked on St. Paul also, while he persecuted Him, and wrought in him a sudden conversion. ”Last of all,” he says, ”He was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.” One sight of that Divine Countenance, so tender, so loving, so majestic, so calm, was enough, first to convert him, then to support him on his way amid the bitter hatred and fury which he was to excite in those who hitherto had loved him.

And if such be the effect of a momentary vision of the glorious Presence of Christ, what think you, my brethren, will be their bliss, to whom it shall be given, this life ended, to see that Face eternally?

[1] Gal. i. 8, 9.

[2] Acts xxi. 13. 1 Cor. ix. 22.

[3] 1 Tim. i. 13.

SERMON XVI.

The Shepherd of our Souls.

”_I am the good Shepherd: the good Shepherd giveth His life for the sheep._”--John x. 11.

Our Lord here appropriates to Himself the t.i.tle under which He had been foretold by the Prophets. ”David My servant shall be king over them,”

says Almighty G.o.d by the mouth of Ezekiel: ”and they all shall have one Shepherd.” And in the book of Zechariah, ”Awake, O sword, against My Shepherd, and against the man that is My fellow, saith the Lord of Hosts; smite the Shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered.” And in like manner St. Peter speaks of our returning ”to the Shepherd and Bishop of our souls[1].”

”The good Shepherd giveth His life for the sheep.” In those countries of the East where our Lord appeared, the office of a shepherd is not only a lowly and simple office, and an office of trust, as it is with us, but, moreover, an office of great hards.h.i.+p and of peril. Our flocks are exposed to no enemies, such as our Lord describes. The Shepherd here has no need to prove his fidelity to the sheep by encounters with fierce beasts of prey. The hireling shepherd is not tried. But where our Lord dwelt in the days of His flesh it was otherwise. There it was true that the good Shepherd giveth His life for the sheep--”but he that is an hireling, and whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth, and the wolf catcheth them and scattereth the sheep. The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep.”

Our Lord found the sheep scattered; or, as He had said shortly before, ”All that ever came before Me are thieves and robbers;” and in consequence the sheep had no guide. Such were the priests and rulers of the Jews when Christ came; so that ”when He saw the mult.i.tudes He was moved with compa.s.sion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad as sheep having no shepherd[2].” Such, in like manner, were the rulers and prophets of Israel in the days of Ahab, when Micaiah, the Lord's Prophet, ”saw all Israel scattered on the hills, as sheep that have not a shepherd, and the Lord said, These have no Master, let them return every man to his house in peace[3].” Such, too, were the shepherds in the time of Ezekiel, of whom the Prophet says, ”Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves!

should not the shepherd feed the flocks? . . . They were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered[4]:” and in the time of the Prophet Zechariah, who says, ”Woe to the idle shepherd that leaveth the flock[5]!”

So was it all over the world when Christ came in His infinite mercy ”to gather in one the children of G.o.d that were scattered abroad.” And though for a moment, when in the conflict with the enemy the good Shepherd had to lay down His life for the sheep, they were left without a guide (according to the prophecy already quoted, ”Smite the Shepherd and the sheep shall be scattered”), yet He soon rose from death to live for ever, according to that other prophecy which said, ”He that scattered Israel will gather him, as a shepherd doth his flock[6].”

And as He says Himself in the parable before us, ”He calleth His own sheep by name and leadeth them out, and goeth before them, and the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice,” so, on His resurrection, while Mary wept, He did call her by her name[7], and she turned herself and knew Him by the ear whom she had not known by the eye. So, too, He said, ”Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou Me[8]?” And He added, ”Follow Me.” And so again He and His Angel told the women, ”Behold He goeth before you into Galilee . . . go tell My brethren, that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see Me.”

From that time the good Shepherd who took the place of the sheep, and died that they might live for ever, has gone before them: and ”they follow the Lamb whithersoever He goeth[9];” going their way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feeding their kids beside the shepherds' tents[10].

No earthly images can come up to the awful and gracious truth, that G.o.d became the Son of man--that the Word became flesh, and was born of a woman. This ineffable mystery surpa.s.ses human words. No t.i.tles of earth can Christ give to Himself, ever so lowly or mean, which will fitly show us His condescension. His act and deed is too great even for His own lips to utter it. Yet He delights in the image contained in the text, as conveying to us, in such degree as we can receive it, some notion of the degradation, hards.h.i.+p, and pain, which He underwent for our sake.

<script>