Part 72 (1/2)

'You had rather I lamented my fate in not being able to devote myself to n.o.bly unremunerative work?'

There was a note of irony here. It caused her a tremor, but she held her position.

'That you never do so would make one think--but I won't speak unkindly.'

'That I neither care for good work nor am capable of it,' Jasper finished her sentence. 'I shouldn't have thought it would make you think so.'

Instead of replying she turned her look towards the door. There was a footstep on the stairs, but it pa.s.sed.

'I thought it might be Dora,' she said.

'She won't be here for another couple of hours at least,' replied Jasper with a slight smile.

'But you said--?'

'I sent her to Mrs Boston Wright's that I might have an opportunity of talking to you. Will you forgive the stratagem?'

Marian resumed her former att.i.tude, the faintest smile hovering about her lips.

'I'm glad there's plenty of time,' he continued. 'I begin to suspect that you have been misunderstanding me of late. I must set that right.'

'I don't think I have misunderstood you.'

'That may mean something very disagreeable. I know that some people whom I esteem have a very poor opinion of me, but I can't allow you to be one of them. What do I seem to you? What is the result on your mind of all our conversations?'

'I have already told you.'

'Not seriously. Do you believe I am capable of generous feeling?'

'To say no, would be to put you in the lowest cla.s.s of men, and that a very small one.''Good! Then I am not among the basest. But that doesn't give me very distinguished claims upon your consideration. Whatever I am, I am high in some of my ambitions.'

'Which of them?'

'For instance, I have been daring enough to hope that you might love me.'

Marian delayed for a moment, then said quietly:

'Why do you call that daring?'

'Because I have enough of old-fas.h.i.+oned thought to believe that a woman who is worthy of a man's love is higher than he, and condescends in giving herself to him.'

His voice was not convincing; the phrase did not sound natural on his lips. It was not thus that she had hoped to hear him speak. Whilst he expressed himself thus conventionally he did not love her as she desired to be loved.

'I don't hold that view,' she said.

'It doesn't surprise me. You are very reserved on all subjects, and we have never spoken of this, but of course I know that your thought is never commonplace. Hold what view you like of woman's position, that doesn't affect mine.'

'Is yours commonplace, then?'

'Desperately. Love is a very old and common thing, and I believe I love you in the old and common way. I think you beautiful, you seem to me womanly in the best sense, full of charm and sweetness. I know myself a coa.r.s.e being in comparison. All this has been felt and said in the same way by men infinite in variety. Must I find some new expression before you can believe me?'

Marian kept silence.