c29 (1/2)
Yun Zhong Ge Chapter 29: Soaring Together Through This Life
After taking a day off to catch up with Gaksitaaaaal, I'm back! This is a sweet, short interlude, the whole chapter completely and utterly devoted to Ling Ge Ge and Yun Ge as the readers get a peek into their interactions now that Yun Ge clearly knows that her heart lies with him and that barrier that she intentionally placed in between them is gone, they are truly as free as birds around each other. As I was translating this snippet, I was playing Kenji Wu (吳克群)'s Holding Hands (牽牽手) (english translations here) and thought that it described their relations.h.i.+p perfectly.
There is something so pure and untainted about their love for each other that makes me root for this couple instantly. They are able to strip away life's complexities and complications so easily and know that the simple things are the ones that count. Enjoying life's simple joys and living life to the fullest are what really matters. Those that have read spoilers, when I looked back at this chapter, there is just this sense of bittersweetness, for the what could-have-been.
Update: CHAPTER COMPLETE. This chapter is really a breeze to translate cause it is really a much needed break from all the earlier heaviness.
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As the night grew darker, he only feared that his vibrant flower would wilt away, and so he deliberately lighted all the red candles to illuminate the hall. He seemed to fear that if he even blinked, he would find Yun Ge vanis.h.i.+ng before his eyes - Liu Fu Ling refused to let any trace of darkness affect his vision. Within Xuan s.h.i.+ Hall, the candles were brightly lit, lighting up each corner of the hall. Physician Zhang was in half kneeling by the dragon pallet, performing acupuncture on Yun Ge.
Liu Fu Ling was afraid his presence would affect Physician Zhang, so he stood behind the curtains, but his eyes never wavered from the curtain.
Yu An, Qi Xi, Liu Shun and all the other eunuchs were kneeling as one, the hall was filled with people both inside and outside, yet not a sound was heard, an oppressive, anxious silence hovered in the air.
After a long while, Physician Zhang emerged, his head full of sweat, wearily kowtowing in front of Liu Fu Ling to request his leave. “Your subject will be back tomorrow. Rest a.s.sured, your majesty; Miss Yun’s injury is not grave, she will recover after a period of rest.” Liu Fu Ling warmly said “Rest well when you get back.” Physician Zhang left with a eunuch guiding the way.
Liu Fu Ling sat on the side of the pallet, his fingers lightly brus.h.i.+ng across Yun Ge’s brows, eyes, nose….
When he hurriedly rushed out from the great hall to the Blue River, all he saw was Yun Ge hanging upside down from the platform. Suddenly, the ice platform collapsed, ice and snow flying everywhere. She was like a b.u.t.terfly with broken wings, heading towards the abyss of death. She was so helpless but all he could do was to watch her fall. He brought her to this dangerous place, but he couldn’t protect her. He could only watch himself losing her. He could only watch…..
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Liu Fu Ling had already sat in front of Yun Ge’s pallet for more than two hours. Yu An caught on to his majesty’s intention to stay by her side and hesitated before forcing himself to utter the words. “Your majesty, in another two hours, dawn will break, there will be state affairs to attend to once dawn breaks; please try to rest for a while, your servants will watch over Miss Yun.”
Watch over? Liu Fu Ling raised his eyes to Yu An.
When they met his gaze, a whole group of eunuchs were so scared they kowtowed furiously; cold sweat broke out on Yu An’s brow as he said “Your majesty, your servant was not conscientious enough, please punish me.” Liu Shun hastily added “This has nothing to do with master; it was due to your servant’s incompetency, falling into the guard’s trap, thereby failing to protect Miss Yun. Your servant is willing to face death.” Liu Fu Ling asked lightly. “Mo Cha, Fu Yu, are they alive?” Yu An quickly replied “Fu Yu was seriously injured, Mo Cha only sustained light injures, both are still unconscious but their lives aren’t in danger. Once they wake up, your servant will make sure to punish them severely.” Liu Fu Ling looked at the sea of eunuchs kneeling before him, suddenly feeling tired. “All of you have knelt for a whole night, go back to rest!”
Liu Shun was stunned, what did his majesty mean? Was his majesty not going to punish them?
Liu Fu Ling waved “All of you, retreat!” All the eunuchs quickly retreated from the hall with their heads bowed. Soon, the hall was completely empty, with only Yu An remaining. Yu An stammered “Your majesty, your servant will surely protect Miss Yun properly in the future, this thing will never happen again.” Liu Fu Ling stared at Yun Ge, his question directed to Yu An as much as it was directed to himself, “Even if we manage to protect her for a while, can this protection last forever? All the palace guards belong to them; can you guarantee that there will be no trace of negligence in the future? And those palace maids that hide in the shadows, can you defend her from all of them?”
Yu An was speechless, such a question…. He couldn’t even answer this if the question was directed at his majesty’s safety, let alone Yun Ge’s? After all, there were only a limited number of eunuchs around, his foremost priority was the safety of his majesty’s, he could only allocate a certain amount of manpower to Yun Ge. Yu An looked at Yun Ge, suddenly realizing that her fate was already sealed and it was only a matter of time; his heart ached with pain and pity, but couldn’t think of a way to save her.
Liu Fu Ling smiled and shook his head, indeed it was as Meng Jue said - he could keep her but not protect her. He sighed “You may go! I would like to be alone with Yun Ge. Also, once Yun Ge wakes up, she will surely ask after Mo Cha and Fu Yu, so don’t punish them, this matter ends here.” When Yu An caught Liu Fu Ling’s expression, he didn’t dare to make further objections, quietly leaving the hall. Liu Fu Ling sat on the floor, his one hand holding Yun Ge’s, tracing the heart line on her palm back and forth. He could not let such an ‘accident’ happen again; not every ‘accident’ would result in her luckily escaping with her life. If Yun Ge……… because of him……
When he witnessed Yun Ge falling with his own eyes, despair and hopelessness threatened to overwhelm him. His hand gripped hers tightly, as if trying to remind himself that she was safe.
How could he truly prevent such ‘accidents’ from ever happening again?
There were two paths he could take: the first was to get rid of Huo Guang, but this couldn’t be accomplished in a short period of time, this was a long drawn battle of wits; if he wasn’t careful, he could put the whole dynasty in peril, destabilizing the state and his people. The second was…. was to let Yun Ge leave, let her leave the palace that she never belonged to, leave the turbulence that was Chang An. He should give her freedom, shouldn’t he? She was born to be enjoying the vast heavens and earth, not suited for the bloodthirsty palace, full of plots in every corner.
However, since they met again, since they slapped their palms together to seal their pact, she was his one and only. So many years of waiting had pa.s.sed, even a seed the size of a grain would have grown into a big, towering tree, let alone his longing for her? She had already taken root in his heart, her roots sunk in, deep and tangled.
If he wanted to pull her out, his whole heart might just be taken out along with her. Who can tell him, how does one part with his own heart?
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When Yun Ge regained consciousness, she felt like all her organs were on fire, groaning in pain.
Liu Fu Ling quickly asked “Where does it hurt?” Yun Ge slowly opened her eyes, her vision still blurry, as if she was still in a dream. “I’m alive?” Liu Fu Ling nodded “Meng Jue saved you.” Yun Ge froze, then smiled. “Then you should thank him properly.”
Liu Fu Ling sensed a deeper meaning behind her words and his heart leaped, rendered mute by this unspeakable joy welling in his heart, he could only stare mutely at her. What she thought was sure parting because of death was now another unexpected chance to be together – Yun Ge felt an indescribable joy bubbling in her heart, gently smoothing Liu Fu Ling’s brow, her voice softly reproachful “You didn’t sleep the whole night? Why were you so stupid? I was here sleeping, and unconscious, even if you stayed by me it would be in vain, why didn’t you sleep for a while?” Liu Fu Ling deftly caught her hand in his; Yun Ge didn’t try to pull away like before, letting him hold her hand, only lowering her eyes with some embarra.s.sment.
All traces of doubt vanished completely from his heart, only joy remaining, cascading over his heart in excited waves. Outside the hall was a gorgeous day sparkling with radiant sunlight, inside the hall was a dream coming true after many years, almost like a fantasy. Liu Fu Ling placed her hands at his cheek, running it over his face lightly, his mouth first twitching, then his face breaking into a broad smile. Yun Ge couldn’t control the joy in her heart either, when she saw Liu Fu Ling smiling, she couldn’t help but want to smile too, only her stomach was churning in pain, so she didn’t dare to do so.
So it seems that the path of life was in fact very simple, it was most painful and agonizing when one couldn’t make a decision on whether to go back or forward, but once a decision had been made to go forward, then no matter how treacherous the forward path may be, she felt no fear, only happiness. They smiled at each other like two idiots, neither knowing what to say, only smiling dumbly at each other.
Outside the hall.
Yu An tentatively called out “Your majesty.” Both of them awoke from their reverie. Liu Fu Ling said “Don’t disturb me. I will see no one today, let all of them go home to spend the New Year with their wives and children.” Yu An wanted to say something, but all his words remained stuck in his throat. Yun Ge whispered. “Be careful of others labeling you a debauched Emperor.” Liu Fu Ling laughed. “Let them say what they wis.h.!.+ I am not very clear headed right now anyway, if I try to work on state affairs now, who knows what might come out from my mouth.” His majesty’s voice took on a lightness of which he had never heard before, laughter evident in his voice.
Yu An felt that his majesty wasn’t the only one that wasn’t clear headed right now, he felt a little dizzy too. Last night his majesty was still so worried and devastated, his devastation affecting all those around him, but today…. His mood swung about too quickly! Yu An looked up towards the skies and strode off sighing. “Blue skies all around, clear without clouds; it really is a good day. After a year of troubles, it really is time to spend the New Year properly and rest for a few days!”
Liu Fu Ling asked Yun Ge. “Are you in pain? Do you want to rest? Physician Zhang will be here tonight to perform acupuncture on you.” Yun Ge shook her head, “I’ll be fine as long as you don’t make me laugh, and if I talk slowly.”
“Yun Ge, I want to say…..”
“Ling Ge Ge, I want to say…..”
Both of them smiled at each other, both opening their mouths to talk, and both stopping at the same time.
“You go first” Yun Ge said. Liu Fu Ling replied “You go first!”
Yun Ge smiled shyly, keeping her eyes trained downwards; she said “Ling Ge Ge, last night I finally sorted out something in my mind. As I fell, I was full of regret and sorrow, I felt like I should have done many things that I didn’t do. There is too much unpredictability in life, no one can accurately know what the future may bring. I don’t want to be full of regrets only when life ends, so, I’ve decided: if I like someone then I’ll like him, if I want to do it, then I’ll do it, why think so much?” Her eyelids fluttered a few times like two b.u.t.terflies, “Ling Ge Ge, I want to be with you!”
Just a simple sentence, but Liu Fu Ling felt like he heard the sounds of nature, his whole body was like it was drunk with wine, how many years had pa.s.sed since he felt this happy? Liu Fu Ling held her hand, bent and kissed her palm. “Yun Ge, last night, I too, finally sorted something out too. People say that life is long, but is in fact very short, even if one has a peaceful life, it only is but a few tens of years, including accidents and sickness, no one knows exactly how long a life is. I have experienced enough regrets, hatred and helplessness in this lifetime; I don’t want to spend the rest of my life that way. Yun Ge, do you still remember the promise you made when you were little? You said you were willing to go with me to the Miao boundary, willing to accompany me to tour the whole world?”
Yun Ge was a little confused. If he was only ‘Ling Ge Ge’, then of course it would be easy for her to fulfill all her promises, but he wasn’t just her ‘Ling Ge Ge’ but also the Emperor of this dynasty. Yun Ge nodded dumbly. “I have never once forgotten.” Liu Fu Ling smiled. “Yun Ge, from today onwards, I only want to be your ‘Ling Ge Ge’.”
Yun Ge’s eyes widened, the true meaning of Liu Fu Ling’s words not sinking in until a few minutes later. After a while, she stammered, “Then…..Then....But…But….” Finally forming a proper sentence, “Then who…who would be…the Emperor of Han?”
Liu Fu Ling saw Yun Ge’s face struck dumb by shock, purposely acting conflicted. “Yes! Who would be the Han Emperor?”
Yun Ge finally shook herself awake from her happy fog of joy, reaching out to hit Liu Fu Ling. “You’re so smart, you probably would have thought of that already, and you’re still….” Unintentionally probing her injured part, she frowned.
Liu Fu Ling didn’t dare to tease her anymore, quickly reaching for her hand and using it to smack his a few times. “Yun Ge, between Liu He and Liu Bing Yi, which do you prefer? I think both of them are fine, let us pick one of them to be Emperor, shall we?”
This was when Yun Ge ascertained that Liu Fu Ling truly meant what he said and he even had a well thought out plan to carry out his decision. Yun Ge was intending to stay by Liu Fu Ling’s side with a strong, determined heart, although she felt helpless, but the regrets she felt just before she faced death made her realize, maybe the helplessness of staying would be less than that of leaving. She didn’t expect Liu Fu Ling to actually be willing to give up his throne, she felt like her whole world was suddenly made bright and radiant, no trace of fog left in it, she could even see each happy day in their future life together. She hadn’t felt this happy in a very long while, happiness completely filling her heart, so much so that it seemed like it was about to explode, even if her heart exploded, each shard will still be filled with happiness.
Liu Fu Ling saw Yun Ge first staring dumbly into s.p.a.ce, then laughing idiotically to herself, finally talking to herself, when he took a closer listen to her mutterings, he heard that she was already planning their future, first they had to go home to meet her parents, then s.n.a.t.c.h Third Brother’s horse, then he would sit on a horse while she sat on Ling Dang [1], and start their travels, first to Miao Boundaries.. Then to….
She would search for and collect ingredients and recipes to write a cook book. Han people weren’t good at cooking beef and mutton, Hu people didn’t know how to use seasonings, didn’t know how to cook vegetables; as she walked she could impart both group’s strengths to each other, so that everyone could taste even better food…
Liu Fu Ling’s heart ached. By keeping Yun Ge at his side, he had trapped a soul that longed to fly. In the days Yun Ge spent in the palace, was she ever truly happy?
Thank goodness, they still had many days ahead of them.
He never liked his throne, but in order to protect it, he lost everything. If he gave it to someone who had the ability and who truly wanted it, then they would definitely do better. By giving it up, he and Yun Ge could search for their own happiness.