Part 22 (2/2)

'Thankfully the baby was fine taken straight from you at birth for adoption.'

'Without my consent?'

'You were in no fit state to know what you wanted you never asked once about the baby and afterwards you seemed to have blanked it completely from your mind.' Susan laid a hand on her arm. 'Louise we your dad and I adopted her.'

'You did? ' Louise took in the implication of what she had just heard. She stared at Susan. 'You don't you can't mean...?'

'Yes. Karen is yours. She was four months old when you came out of hospital and we thought at first that seeing her would trigger your memory, but it didn't. You never took any interest in her at all. So we decided to let sleeping dogs lie and bring Karen up as our own. You went back to school a new school, then later to drama school.'

Louise was deeply shocked. It seemed bizarre. It was all so hard to take in. Then she remembered the dreams about her mother leaving, then later, about rejecting a baby. Somewhere, deep in her subconscious she'd buried it all. She looked at Susan.

'I'm so glad you told me,' she said. 'I take it that Karrie doesn't know?'

Susan shook her head. 'She still thinks of Frank and me as her parents, although we did tell her a long time ago that she was adopted.' She looked appealingly at Louise. 'I really think that after all this time it's probably better to leave it at that.'

Louise was silent for a moment then she slowly nodded. 'I'm sure you're right.'

Susan took her hand and squeezed it. 'It's not too late to have a child of your own,' she said, but Louise shook her head.

'I've never been the maternal type. Karen was lucky to have you and Dad. Better not to stir things up now.' She looked at Susan. 'I owe you so much, Susan; far more than I ever dreamed. I'll never be able to make it all up to you.'

Susan smiled. 'No need, my dear. I'm so sorry about your disappointment over the play. I only wish things could work out for you.'

The telephone began to ring and Susan got up to answer it. Louise watched as her stepmother's face suddenly drained of colour.

'Oh my G.o.d!' she cried. 'Yes. We'll get there as soon as we can. Thank you for ringing me, Simon. Goodbye.'

In the family room at the hospital, Susan and Louise found a shocked-looking Karen and Simon sitting silently together. Simon was holding Karen's hand. Susan sat down beside Karen.

'Any news?'

'Not yet.' It was Simon who spoke. Karen wept silently into Susan's shoulder.

'It was my fault,' she sobbed. 'If only we hadn't been rowing ...'

Simon squeezed her hand. 'Don't. It was my fault as much as anyone's. I think it's time we got our priorities straight.'

Louise reached out to touch Karen's shoulder. 'Karrie darling, I'm so sorry.' When Karen did not respond, Louise looked at Susan. 'Shall I go and get some coffees?'

Susan nodded. 'That sounds like a good idea.'

When she'd left the room Simon looked up angrily. 'Why on earth did you bring her with you? She's the last person we want with us at a time like this.'

'Something quite monumental has just happened in her life,' Susan said. 'I think you'll find she's going to be very different from now on.'

Simon grunted. 'Huh! I'll believe that when I see it.'

Louise returned with the coffees on a tray and they sat in silence as they drank them. When the door opened and a tall young man walked in, all four looked up expectantly. He introduced himself.

'Good morning. I'm Paul Grainger, senior paediatrician here at St Mary's and I've been looking after your small son.'

Karen was on her feet. 'How is he?'

'He has a hairline fracture of the skull but apart from a few b.u.mps and bruises, that's all.'

'A skull fracture!' Karen cried, leaping to her feet. 'But that's serious, isn't it?'

'A hairline fracture in a child of his age heals very quickly,' the consultant told them. 'We'll keep him in for a couple of days just to be on the safe side.' He looked at Karen. 'You can stay here with him if you like. After that there's no reason why you can't take him home.'

Simon stood up and put his arms round Karen, who was weeping with relief. He looked at the consultant. 'Thank you so much.'

'Not at all.' On his way out the consultant said, 'By the way, the driver of the car is in the waiting room. I think he'd appreciate some rea.s.surance.'

'I'll go in a minute.' Simon kissed the top of Karen's head. 'Don't cry, darling. Everything's going to be all right.'

'It's my fault,' she sobbed. 'If we hadn't been arguing about my wanting to work, it would never have happened.'

'Never mind that now.'

Susan gestured to Louise that they should give them some time alone and they quietly left the room.

As they made their way back to Susan's flat Louise said, 'Maybe I should go back to London. You'll be wanting to help Karrie and Simon and I'll just be in the way.'

Susan smiled. 'It's considerate of you to suggest that but don't go tonight. Leave it at least till the morning.' She looked at her watch. 'I must ring Ted and let him know what's happened.'

'Ted?' Louise looked at her. 'You're back together, then?'

Susan smiled. 'We met and he explained everything. I'll tell you about it over supper.'

Chapter Twenty-Five.

I let myself into the empty flat and stood for a moment in the silence. In spite of Susan's revelations and what had happened over the last few days, I felt more estranged from my family now than ever before. They didn't need me. I was Karen's mother and Susan's stepdaughter. Another thought hit me: I was Peter's grandmother, for heaven's sake! And yet none of them needed or wanted me; in fact quite the opposite. Susan was kind and good. She always had been and no doubt she always would be. But could I ever begin to mend all the fences I'd ridden roughshod over in the past? They had all put up with so much from me. Perhaps now it was time to give them all a much deserved rest; to stand on my own feet and try to turn over a new leaf. It was a really strange feeling. It could be an end and yet if I really made up my mind to it, it could be a beginning a fresh start. This could be make-or-break time and I realized that the outcome was up to me.

I put my case in my room and went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. As I waited for it to boil, my thoughts turned to Mark! Dear, patient Mark. I'd been so horrible to him, yet he'd given me nothing but love and consideration. But now it was over. He'd given up trying to contact me and he was about to marry someone else. I'd lost him. Anyhow, I'd never be able to face him now. He'd be sure to see me differently when he knew the truth. I knew I owed him that but I s.h.i.+ed away from telling him about my past seeing the look of disgust and disillusionment on his face.

I found cold meat and salad in the fridge and as I set about putting a snack lunch together, it occurred to me that in the past I'd have taken Di's food without a thought. Now I promised myself that I'd go out later and replace what I'd taken. When I'd eaten, I went out to the supermarket and it was as I was letting myself back into the flat that my phone began to ring. I put down the bags of shopping and fished my phone out of my bag.

'h.e.l.lo.'

'Louise. It's Patrick Jason. I've got some good news,' he said.

'Oh yes?'

'The audition you did for the soap, King's Reach I'm delighted to tell you that you've got the part. Congratulations!'

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