Part 2 (2/2)

Dianne laid a hand on my shoulder. 'Shall I make you a cup of tea?'

I shook my head. 'No. I'll be OK once the dream has faded.'

'You're seeing this mystery guy tomorrow, aren't you?' Dianne observed. 'Is that what you're nervous about? You didn't tell me much about it last night.'

'There's a lot hanging on it.'

'You've never really told me much about him or this project he's planning.'

'It's not really a mystery. I haven't said anything because I didn't want to jinx it. You know how superst.i.tious I am. I didn't mention it to anyone at home. They don't have a very high opinion of me or my talent and they probably wouldn't have believed me anyway. When I was down in Devon in the summer with the Suns.h.i.+ne Follies, Harry came down and brought this guy along. His name is Paul Fortune. He's a musician and composer and he's written this musical called Oh, Elizabeth. It's based on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Harry brought him backstage afterwards and apparently Paul had been quite impressed by me in the show. He said that he saw me as the perfect actress to play Elizabeth Bennet.'

'Wow!' Dianne's eyes widened. 'So is it him this Paul Thingummy that you're meeting tomorrow?'

'Yes, I'm having lunch with him and Harry. There was some ground-laying work he had to do before going ahead, like booking venues and rehearsal rooms setting up advertising and so on, which is why it's taken so long, but now it seems it's all systems go. The show kicks off in the provinces and then fingers crossed eventually moves into the West End.'

'It sounds like a great opportunity,' Dianne said. 'And I do wish you the best of luck. You're sure there are no strings attached, aren't you?'

I laughed. 'No, of course there aren't. Harry's hinted that he might ask me to put up a small amount of the money, but that's not a problem. I've still got most of the cash I got for the house stashed away.' I looked at Di. 'You know how old I am and how long I've been waiting for a break. This could be it; my last chance at making the big time.'

Dianne looked doubtful. 'Mmm, I'd be a bit careful if I were you. How much do you know about this guy?'

'Basically just that he's someone my agent knows. But Harry and I go back a long way and I trust him.'

'I see. What was your initial gut feeling when you met him this Paul Fortune?'

'Frankly, wow, what a hunk!' I giggled. 'The three of us went out to dinner after the show and Paul and I hit it off like a house on fire right from the off.'

'Are you saying you slept with him?'

'Oh come on, give me some credit. They were only there the one night. Even I don't work that fast.'

Dianne wrinkled her nose. 'Just be careful, Lou. I know how much you want to grab what looks like a great opportunity and I also know how impulsive you can be. Just how much of your money is he after, if you don't mind me asking?'

'I've no idea, he might not want much at all,' I hedged. 'Anyway, it seems that every cast member will be putting a share in and we'll all get it back, plus dividends when the show takes off.'

'If the show takes off.'

'Oh, come on, Di, don't pour cold water on it. What makes you such a cynic? I don't understand you. You were one of the most talented students in our year,' I told her. 'With your looks and talent, you could have been a star by now if you hadn't given the idea of a stage career the elbow.'

'Or I could have been penniless and homeless. The theatre is far too precarious for my liking, Lou, and in spite of what you say I never really felt I had any real talent. As it is I've got a good steady job that I enjoy, a nice flat and a reliable income and I still enjoy a bit of amateur work.'

I grinned at her. 'Bor-ing. Still, whatever floats your boat, I suppose.'

'Do you think it's a subconscious anxiety about this project that's causing you to have these nightmares about your childhood?'

'No. I get them from time to time. As for this new musical, I can't wait.' I paused, wondering whether to voice the thought that was in my mind. 'I think I know what is causing them, though. Since Dad died I've been thinking a lot about my mother, wondering if she's still alive and what she's doing. I've had this really strong feeling that I'd like to find her again.'

'Why, when she let you down so badly? It's an awful long time ago and after all, you've got Karen and your stepmum.'

I shook my head. 'They've never felt like a real family to me. I've always felt like the odd one out. As a kid I felt resentful that they'd stolen Dad away from me. I think he understood that. It was probably why he left me the house. And I've never been able to shake off the feeling that the split might have been my fault.'

Dianne shook her head. 'You were only a little kid. How could it have been your fault?'

'I don't know. It's just a feeling. I suppose all kids from broken marriages feel like it. Anyway, I'd like to know the real reason for the split and only she can tell me.'

'OK, so if you want to try and find her why don't you go ahead? It shouldn't be that difficult.'

'I wouldn't know where to start.'

'They say that the Salvation Army is good at finding people. You could try them for starters.'

'Well, maybe,' I said. 'But she could have married again have a different name. Thinking about it and doing it are two different things. Anyway, my main priority right now is my meeting with Paul tomorrow.'

'Have you ever talked to anyone about it?'

'Trying to find my mother, you mean?' I shook my head. 'Susan and Karen wouldn't understand. Neither of them ever met my mum. Dad married Susan when I was ten and there are too many years between Karen and me for us to feel like sisters. Anyway, she's as different from me as chalk from cheese. She and her precious Simon are so bourgeois and horrendously smug with it. They always make me long to shock them out of their complacency.' I bit my lip at the memory of the shoplifting episode. I'd never gone over the top quite that far before. It was a lot worse than a wind-up and I baulked at telling Dianne about it. She'd never understand. 'I'm afraid I can't resist rattling her cage,' I said lightly. 'Old habits die hard.'

'Mmm.' Dianne smiled ruefully. 'I remember the practical jokes you used to play at drama school; quite merciless, some of them. But going back to your family Susan's always been a good stepmum, hasn't she?'

'I suppose so. She's a bit of a pushover though. She never comes out with what she's really thinking just makes bland comments.'

'Which if I know you makes you even more secretive?'

I couldn't help grinning. 'You're right. I try to keep in touch. I visit whenever I can but quite frankly, I don't think any of them would give a d.a.m.n if they never saw me again.'

'I'm sure that's not true.' Dianne glanced at the alarm clock. 'Look, it's past one. Maybe we should both get some sleep now.'

Dianne looked in before she left for work at eight o'clock the following morning.

'Here, I've brought you a black coffee.' She put the cup on the bedside table. 'Don't go back to sleep.'

I emerged from under the duvet and tried to force my eyes open. 'Thanks, Di, you're an angel. I'll get up and have a cold shower when I've drunk it. That should wake me up.'

'Well, good luck.' Dianne hesitated in the doorway. 'Lou if you get a few spare minutes before you leave, could you tidy up a bit?'

I bit my lip. 'Sorry, Di. I know I'm a slob. If I get time I'll put some of my stuff away.'

'Great. And while I remember, there isn't a sc.r.a.p of food left in the fridge so maybe on your way home you could pop into the supermarket and get something for tea. I'll have to dash now. Bye for now.'

When I'd showered I did my best to tidy up the stuff I'd left lying about in Di's living room. It wasn't that bad and I felt slightly resentful that she'd actually asked me to do it. I'd have sorted it eventually, and this morning I had other things on my mind.

Once I'd stuffed the last pair of tights down the back of the sofa and hung the towels back on the bathroom rail, I set about preparing for the coming meeting. In spite of what I'd told Susan, I actually only possessed one decent designer outfit, a cla.s.sic black suit by Chanel. I washed my hair and borrowed Di's hairdryer to blow-dry it. Twisting it up into the French pleat I peered at the roots. I should really have had them touched up but it was too late to worry about it now. It would have to do. Five years ago, a brightening rinse would have been enough to revive its vitality but now the dreaded greys were all too evident and I was till trying to ignore the faint lines that had begun to appear round my mouth. Sitting at the dressing table, I half-closed my eyes and regarded my reflection, thinking about Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennet, the part I was hoping to get. It would mean dropping almost twenty years. The one and only time Paul Fortune had seen me on stage I was wearing a glamorous evening gown and full stage slap, then later at the restaurant seated opposite him at a candlelit dinner table. When he saw me in the cold light of day, would he change his mind about offering me the part?

I took a deep breath and reached into my bag for the little sapphire necklace that I'd relieved Susan of. It had belonged to my mother. I remembered seeing her wearing it and it should have been mine by right anyway, so when I saw it lying on her dressing table I had no feeling of guilt about taking it. I decided to wear it now for luck. Fastening it round my neck, I slipped it inside the neck of my top. Then I laid out the collection of concealers, foundations and blushers that would hopefully bring about the necessary transformation.

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