Part 2 (1/2)
”I say d.a.m.n and I mean d.a.m.n,” said Uncle Arthur. ”What the h.e.l.l can we--”
”Arthur,” said his wife.
”I say, what the h.e.l.l can we do with a couple of Germans? If people wouldn't swallow them last winter are they going to swallow them any better now? G.o.d, what troubles a man lets himself in for when he marries!”
”I do beg you, Arthur, not to use those coa.r.s.e words,” said Aunt Alice, tears in her gentle eyes.
There followed a period of desperate exertion on the part of Aunt Alice.
She answered advertis.e.m.e.nts and offered the twins as nursery governesses, as cheerful companions, as mothers' helps, even as orphans willing to be adopted. She relinquished every claim on salaries, she offered them for nothing, and at last she offered them accompanied by a bonus. ”Their mother was English. They are quite English,” wrote Aunt Alice innumerable times in innumerable letters. ”I feel bound, however, to tell you that they once had a German father, but of course it was through no fault of their own,” etc., etc. Aunt Alice's hand ached with writing letters; and any solution of the problem that might possibly have been arrived at came to nothing because Anna-Rose would not be separated from Anna-Felicitas, and if it was difficult to find anybody who would take on one German n.o.body at all could be found to take on two.
Meanwhile Uncle Arthur grew nightly more dreadful in bed. Aunt Alice was at her wits' end, and took to crying helplessly. The twins racked their brains to find a way out, quite as anxious to relieve Uncle Arthur of their presence as he was to be relieved. If only they could be independent, do something, work, go as housemaids,--anything.
They concocted an anonymous-advertis.e.m.e.nt and secretly sent it to _The Times_, clubbing their pocket-money together to pay for it. The advertis.e.m.e.nt was:
Energetic Sisters of belligerent ancestry but unimpeachable Sympathies wish for any sort of work consistent with respectability.
No objection to being demeaned.
Anna-Felicitas inquired what that last word meant for it was Anna-Rose's word, and Anna-Rose explained that it meant not minding things like being housemaids. ”Which we don't,” said Anna-Rose. ”Upper and Under.
I'll be Upper, of course, because I'm the eldest.”
Anna-Felicitas suggested putting in what it meant then, for she regarded it with some doubt, but Anna-Rose, it being her word, liked it, and explained that it Put a whole sentence into a nut-sh.e.l.l, and wouldn't change it.
No one answered this advertis.e.m.e.nt except a society in London for helping alien enemies in distress.
”Charity,” said Anna-Rose, turning up her nose.
”And fancy thinking _us_ enemies,” said Anna-Felicitas, ”Us. While mummy--” Her eyes filled with tears. She kept them back, however, behind convenient long eye-lashes.
Then they saw an advertis.e.m.e.nt in the front page of _The Times_ that they instantly answered without saying a word to Aunt Alice. The advertis.e.m.e.nt was:
Slightly wounded Officer would be glad to find intelligent and interesting companion who can drive a 14 h.p. Humber. Emoluments by arrangement.
”We'll _tell_ him we're intelligent and interesting,” said Anna-Rose, eagerly.
”Yes--who knows if we wouldn't be really, if we were given a chance?”
said Anna-Felicitas, quite flushed with excitement.
”And if he engages us we'll take him on in turns, so that the emoluments won't have to be doubled.”
”Yes--because he mightn't like paying twice over.”
”Yes--and while the preliminaries are being settled we could be learning to drive Uncle Arthur's car.”
”Yes--except that it's a Daimler, and aren't they different?”
”Yes--but only about the same difference as there is between a man and a woman. A man and a woman are both human beings, you know. And Daimlers and Humbers are both cars.”