Part 18 (1/2)

”Yep.”

”Well, what do you know?”

She leaned over and kissed him. He kissed her back and that led where it usually led to soft moans and tender sighs.

They had breakfast together out on the loggia, the long roofed gallery not far from the pool. And at ten, they took Mandy and left for the zoo. The weather was perfect the kind of weather L.A. has always been famous for, bright and beautiful, the temperature in the low seventies.

Mandy had a ball. She rode on Jonas's shoulders a lot of the day, pointing and crowing in delight as she recognized the various animals. ”Oh, look! Giraffe! See that? Monkeys!”

The best part of the zoo trip was what didn't happen. No one seemed to recognize them. Or if anyone did, they behaved like civilized human beings and respected their privacy. Not a single shutter-happy reporter stuck a camera in their faces the entire day.

They got back to Angel's Crest at a little after three. Mandy had fallen asleep in the car, so they took her right up to the nursery and turned her over to Claudia.

Jonas had a few things to deal with at Bravo, Incorporated, things that just couldn't wait another day. ”If I'm lucky, I can get back by nine or so tonight.”

Emma kissed him and told him she'd be waiting for him, whatever time he returned.

* * * He entered her rooms at nine on the nose. She had ordered a light supper for them. They ate and then they showered together, ending up making very wet love under the shower spray.

Jonas fell asleep in Emma's arms some time after midnight .

Some time after that, the dream came for him.

He woke as he always did when the dream got him sitting bolt upright, the sweat streaming off of him, shouting the word, ”No!”

Chapter 15.

” J onas?” Emma was sitting up beside him. His heart was beating like a trip-hammer. He could not breathe.

”Jonas, what is it?”

He shoved her gentle hand away, threw back the sheet and jumped from the bed.

”Jonas...”

With superhuman effort, he tried to suck in air. It was like breathing through a flattened straw. Relax, he thought. Easy. It's all in your mind...

He bent at the waist, put his hands on his thighs, waited for his windpipe to open or to pa.s.s out.

All in your mind. Bad dream. Not real...

Still, his windpipe felt smashed flat. He sank to his knees. If he was going to lose consciousness, the closer to the floor the better.

Slowly, over a period of seconds that felt like years, his windpipe began to relax. The air started getting in. He sucked in one slow, careful breath. And then another.

All right. It appeared that he would not pa.s.s out this time, after all.

Carefully, he straightened to his height.

Emma was standing, very still, about two feet from him. He hadn't even heard her leave the bed.

”Better?” she asked softly.

He managed a nod and concentrated on the job of drawing one breath after another. It got easier with each one.

She waited, standing so still, naked as he was, her body like a white flame in the darkness, until he could breathe close to normally again.

Then she asked, ”What can I get for you?”

He could smell himself the sour, cornered-animal smell of pure terror. His skin was still clammy with it, with nightmare sweat. ”Shower,” he croaked in a voice not his own.

”I'll get the water goin'.” She turned and left him.

As soon as he was certain his legs wouldn't give out on him, he followed her. She had the water running. When he entered the bathroom, she pulled open the shower door. Welcoming steam billowed out. He got in there, in the heat and the steam, let the water cascade over him, even drank a few gulps of it, to ease his shredded throat.

When he got out, she was waiting with a towel. She dried him, ma.s.saging as she wiped the water away. By the time she was done, he felt almost human again.

”Come on.” She took his hand, led him back to the bed. The Yorkies were there, sitting among the tangled sheets, looking up at them, tails thumping out a hopeful rhythm. They never gave up trying to reclaim the privilege of sleeping with Emma. Inevitably, they headed straight for the bed any time it was vacant.

Emma clicked her tongue. Droopy-eared and downcast, they rose on all fours to jump down.

”h.e.l.l,” he said. ”All right. They can stay but I don't want them on top of me.”

Two sets of ears perked up. Emma sent him a tender smile and then snapped her fingers. The dogs moved to either corner at the end of the bed, each of them walking in a circle and then settling down, noses resting on front paws, eyes bright and grateful under all the eyebrow fringe.

Emma got into the bed and so did he. She settled the sheet over them and pulled him close, guiding his head to rest on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She stroked his hair.

”You want to talk about it?” She kissed his brow.

He started to answer no automatically, but the word stopped itself somewhere short of sound.

For the first time in thirty years, he found he did want to talk about it.

He moved back a little, so he wasn't resting right on top of her anymore. But he kept his hand on her, fingers wrapped around her ribcage, arm resting across the lower part of her chest, right under her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. It felt good, as always, to be touching her.

”It's a nightmare I've been having on and off, since the kidnapping. I know it has something to do with the kidnapping I believe it actually is the kidnapping. That I relive it, in the dream.”

She asked gently, ”You believe?”

”I can't say for sure. When I wake up, I don't remember what the nightmare was. I hear myself shouting the word, No. And then, once the word is out, I can't breathe. I run sweat. You saw it...”

She turned on her side. He moved his arm to accommodate her, sliding his hand down a little until it lay in the cove of her waist. She reached up, stroked the hair at his temple. ”That's the real reason you sleep alone, isn't it? You don't want anyone to see you, to see what it's like for you, how awful it is for you. You think it makes you look weak.”

”I don't just think it, Emma. It's a fact. I am weak, when the dream gets me.” He was a little stunned he had said it, that he'd admitted it out loud.

But he had. And the world hadn't ended.