Part 15 (1/2)
Not wanting to confuse or upset Mattie Sue, she'd simply said they were going to see the barn kitties today. ”We'll visit Grandpa and Grandma for a while.”
Mattie seemed perfectly content in the backseat with her doll and perked up when Hen mentioned the kittens. Caught up in her own little make-believe world, perhaps Mattie Sue had been spared the earlier heartbreaking conversation between Brandon and herself.
Hen was also grateful Brandon had stayed around longer than she'd expected. He'd lingered over his second cup of coffee after breadfast. In fact, her husband had been downright pleasant at the table, interacting with Mattie Sue more than usual. For an instant, Hen had wished they might somehow frame the happy moment for always.
How will he manage his meals? she'd thought as she cleared the table while Mattie went to her room to play.
When he was done eating, Brandon hadn't rushed off to work as was typical but had taken time to kiss her and say he loved her. ”Don't be away too long, Hen,” he'd said amiably, although his expression looked tense.
His words had echoed in her thoughts as she'd made quick work of organizing a week's worth of underwear and pajamas for both her and Mattie Sue. She'd left nearly all of their English clothing, planning to sew Amish attire for both of them as soon as she was settled at her parents' home again. Besides, she didn't know if she could bear spending more time than necessary in her and Brandon's lovely bedroom, reliving their happier days as she went from dresser drawer to closet to suitcase.
By the time she turned into her father's lane, Hen felt almost too limp and emotionally spent to walk. The future seemed at once joyful and heartrending. Glancing at the house, she saw the orderly lineup of wash hanging out to dry. She wondered if she should talk first to her dad about staying so as not to upset her mother. After all, he'd said last visit they were ”always welcome,” but he surely didn't mean on a long-term basis.
Getting out of the car, Hen looked across the meadow toward the bishop's big spread of land and his beautiful farmhouse. What would the man of G.o.d say about Brandon's encouraging this trial separation? Hen cringed at the thought. She felt as ferhoodled as ever she'd been, wanting what she missed about the Amish community, yet already sorely missing her husband. How was Brandon doing right now? Could he pull off this workday, knowing he would return tonight to an empty house?
How long would it take for her to yearn again for the English life - or would she ever? From now on, every moment, every single day must count toward Mattie Sue's training in obedience and selflessness.
Hen dismissed the idea of going directly to speak with the bishop, although she desperately wanted his wisdom as soon as possible. Once she had her parents' consent, she would go and confess her sins, then ask for his wise counsel and prayer.
A superst.i.tion she'd heard from Aunt Malinda came to mind as she walked with Mattie Sue across the backyard. ”To keep a child from being homesick, offer a drink of cold water immediately upon arriving at a new location.”
She guided Mattie to the well pump and gave her a drink from the dipper. Then they headed to the barn to see the promised kitties. She collected her thoughts in the midst of the musty-smelling barn as her daughter made over the little mouse-catchers. Hen had asked her father to remember her in his prayers the last time they had visited. But never had she guessed she'd be right back here on his doorstep, asking if she and Mattie Sue could stay.
A lot can change in five years, she thought, looking affectionately at Mattie Sue, the precious result of her and Brandon's love. I'm doing this so you can know the G.o.d of your forefathers, my dearest girl....
”Mommy?” Mattie Sue looked up at her. She held a tiny gray kitten in her hands.
”Yes, honey.”
”Why doesn't Grandma Emma let kitties in her house?”
”Well, because they're happier out here with their brothers and sisters.” All twenty of them.
”Do you think Grandma would let me take this one inside - just once?”
Hen knew all too well that her parents were sticklers about keeping cats outdoors. ”Your grandmother isn't well, sweetie ... so let's not worry her with your favorite kitty.”
”But, Mommy - ”
She shook her head. ”Remember, it's important to obey,” she told her. ”It's not pleasing to G.o.d to whine and carry on, hoping you'll get your way.”
Mattie's big eyes blinked slowly.
”When I was a little girl your age, my father or mother told me something once and that was the end of it.”
”Did you ever get spankings?” Mattie Sue asked.
”Not after the first few, no.” Hen sighed, remembering. ”Aunt Rosie and I were expected to mind right away. We didn't argue with our parents.”
”Why'd you get spankings, then?”
She smiled. ”I needed to know what it felt like to be punished ... for what I did wrong.”
”Oh.” Mattie's eyes were sad.
”My dad - your grandpa Solomon - believes that our heavenly Father wants us to obey Him. It is always best.”
”Why?”
”Because it makes G.o.d glad.”
Mattie Sue thought about that. ”Daddy never spanks me.”
”No . . . ” She wished Mattie Sue were younger. Already, Hen had her work cut out for her. ”When we love G.o.d, we want to obey Him ... always.” The words sounded right, but her life with Brandon was the poorest example of this. Hen was a terrible role model for her daughter. Yes, she had much to make up for, and not only her daughter's shoddy rearing.
Sighing, Hen bent down for the gray kitten's older brother, a larger black cat, and picked him up, stroking his neck. ”Let's leave the kitties out here to play while we go in and see Grandma Emma.”
”Okay, Mommy.” Mattie Sue set the kitten down, took Hen's hand, and walked toward the sliding barn door without a single fuss.
I'll talk to Dad in a little while, she thought, feeling terribly chagrined.
The Brauchdokder ma.s.saged Rose's leg in downward strokes from the bruised area, gently at first, then stronger each time he repeated the movement. Rose cried out with pain as Eli's ma.s.sage became deeper ... nearly unbearable. Afterward, he placed first a cold pack on the elevated knee, and then a hot compress, alternating back and forth for nearly an hour before wrapping her knee in a soft bandage.
By the time Nick returned, Rose was able to gingerly hold her weight on the injured leg without severe pain. She'd almost forgotten how useful therapeutic ma.s.sage could be to a strained and bruised muscle. Mammi Sylvia would've remembered, she thought as Nick offered to pay the old-timer for his services.
The gray-haired Amish doctor looked at Rose with watery blue-gray eyes. ”This is Sol Kauffman's daughter, ain't?”
Nick said she was as Rose nodded.
”Well, then, you owe me not a dime,” the doctor said with a toothless smile.
”Denki, so kind of you,” Rose said softly.
”Can she use her bad leg?” Nick asked, coming over to offer his arm.
”Prob'ly not just yet.” The doctor had urged her to keep her leg elevated and stay off it for twenty-four hours, using cold and hot compresses. ”Why don't ya just pick her up and carry her... like ya did before?” The old man grinned.
Rose felt embarra.s.sed when Nick didn't hesitate and leaned down and lifted her right up into his arms. She smiled all the way out to the market wagon, where she could see that the rain had already come and gone. She didn't mind that the wagon seat would be wet - at least she wouldn't have to walk home.
”Better not get used to this,” Nick teased, laughing.
”Don't ya worry!”
When they got to the wagon, he set her down carefully.
”Denki for rescuing me ... comin' along when ya did.”
”I go that way a lot. Besides, I had a feelin' you were in trouble.”
Rose didn't ask what he meant. Today Nick was oddly different - so unlike himself. She guessed he was merely worried. What else could it be?