Part 32 (2/2)
”What about you? What will make you comfortable?” ”Knowing you're comfortable,” he said, and saw that the answer frustrated her.
”Rylan, stop taking care of me.”
”But that's my job, to take care of you, and because we're not starting in the same place, both knowing nothing, I have to tread a little carefully here.”
Sabrina was quiet, and Rylan took her hand again.
”This is not going to be easy. We're going to be finding our way for a longtime. Even after we're married, things will come up that neither of us thought of. And that's all right. We'll handle it as it comes.”
”I understand that, but why must I kiss you?” Sabrina asked, finding the idea rather daunting.
”So I know you're ready for that. From that point forward, I'll take the lead.”
Sabrina frowned, not sure how to say what she was thinking. ”What did I say wrong?”
”Well, it's just that you make it sound like a future thing, as though I don't want to kiss you now.”
262 ”You wish we had already kissed?”
Sabrina nodded, and Rylan looked surprised but also pleased. ”So you won't be afraid if I kiss you at some point?” he double- checked.
”I don't think so.”
”But you're not sure?”
Sabrina wrestled the words in her mind for a moment, and then did her best to explain.
”Most of us avoided big men. Naturally they could do the most damage if they grew angry. Or if you wanted them to leave, you were helpless to do anything about it. Sometimes your size can be scary, even though I know you're not any of those men.”
”That makes sense,” Rylan said, his face thoughtful. ”Why would the men get angry?”
”Self hate' was what Zoe, one of my neighbors, called it. Men, usually those who were married and hated themselves for what they'd just done, would grow abusive. They had to take it out on someone. Sometimes they used words, and sometimes they used fists. A big man could put you off the streets for weeks, and few of us could afford that.”
”That's why you were so calm when Zeke hit you. You'd been hit before.”
”More times than I can remember,” Sabrina admitted, glad that most of it was a blur. ”I was usually pretty fast if I saw it coming, and since I'm not little, I could defend myself against a man who wasn't that big. Occasionally I was taken by surprise.”
”How often did you think about getting away from it?”
”I had no skills, no money saved, and no place to turn, so I tried not to think at all. I tried not to concentrate on what I was doing, or I would never have survived.”
”And during this time you had no thoughts of G.o.d?”
”I didn't think He could look on sin, and I knew I was sinning. Danny was the first one to show me I'd been kidding myself. When I realized G.o.d had known all along, I was pretty shook up, but at 263.
the same time I was trying to figure out who Danny and Callie were. I'd never met anyone like them, people who were willing to take me in and give me a chance.”
”And this is why you reach out. This is why you don't give up on Crystal and you stayed with Eliza until the end.”
Sabrina nodded, knowing that what he said was true.
”I don't wish your past on anyone, Sabrina, but G.o.d can certainly use you now because of it.”
”Isn't that true of all of us?”
”I think it is. I remember what you said about hating your sewing lessons. For me it was work on the farm. I would finish as fast as I could so I could find friends to play with, and if my father was looking for a volunteer, my hand would never go up.
”My father finally got through to me concerning the value of what I was learning, and I will always thank him. When I came to Token Creek, one of the first people I met was Pete Stillwell. He offered me work, and I've been there ever since. It's given me a path into the community that's been invaluable. I don't know if there's a soul in town who doesn't know that I'm a pastor. I've had questions come while I was shoeing horses and while I was dripping with sweat in the forge.”
”That wouldn't be the case if you were a hypocrite, Rylan,” Sabrina said. ”You're real with people, and they can trust you.”
”I care for people. It's hard at times. Not everyone wants my friends.h.i.+p, but I still care and pray for them.”
Silence fell between them for a little while, and then Sabrina asked, ”Can we start back before it gets dark? I want to check on Crystal.”
”Have you talked to her since you saw the bruise?”
”No, and she's been on my mind.”
”Let's head that way. Why don't you carry the tea, the basket, the fis.h.i.+ng pole, and the quilt?”
Sabrina was reaching to do just that when she caught herself. Rylan laughed when she looked at him. Sabrina picked up the basket 264 and the pole and then waited, her look saying much. Rylan folded the quilt and grabbed the jug, still looking very pleased with himself as they started toward Willow Street.
”Nate and Thorn are in the neighborhood,” Rylan said when they were almost at Crystal's. ”I think I'll say h.e.l.lo.”
”All right.”
”Stay here. I'll walk you back.”
”Why, Rylan,” Sabrina worked to sound hurt. ”You know my safety is always on my mind.”
Rylan dramatically rolled his eyes before saying, ”You and I are , going to work on defining 'safe,' Miss Matthews. We need some increased unity on that topic.”
The smile Sabrina gave him was nothing short of cheeky as he went on his way and she knocked on Crystal's door. Crystal invited her inside, and Sabrina wasted no time.
”How is your eye?”
”It's fine. I've got a little powder on tonight. You can't even see it.” ”We can go to supper Tuesday if you want.”
Crystal almost mentioned that she couldn't take the night off but changed her mind. Yes, she'd been forced to take nights off with the bruise on her face, but she didn't want Sabrina to stop asking.
”I've got the answer to the question you asked me,” Sabrina said.
”What question?” Crystal frowned ”About why I prayed in Jesus' name. It's a way to remember when we pray, we need to do it in the name of Christ. Jesus Christ, G.o.d's Son, came to us from the Father, and when we pray to the Father, we ask in His Son's name.”
”Who told you this?”
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