Part 2 (2/2)

”Very,” said Dodson, opening the door.

”And before I go, gentlemen,” said the excited Mr. Pickwick, turning round on the landing, ”permit me to say, that of all the disgraceful and rascally proceedings--”

”Stay, sir, stay,” interposed Dodson, with great politeness. ”Mr.

Jackson! Mr. Wicks!”

”Sir,” said the two clerks, appearing at the bottom of the stairs.

”I merely want you to hear what this gentleman says,” replied Dodson.

”Pray go on, sir--disgraceful and rascally proceedings, I think you said?”

”I did,” said Mr. Pickwick, thoroughly roused. ”I said, sir, that of all the disgraceful and rascally proceedings that ever were attempted this is the most so. I repeat it, sir.”

”You hear that, Mr. Wicks?” said Dodson.

”You won't forget these expressions, Mr. Jackson?” said Fogg.

”Perhaps you would like to call us swindlers, sir,” said Dodson. ”Pray do, sir, if you feel disposed; now pray do, sir.”

”I do,” said Mr. Pickwick. ”You _are_ swindlers.”

”Very good,” said Dodson. ”You can hear down there, I hope, Mr.

Wicks?”

”Oh, yes, sir,” said Wicks.

”You had better come up a step or two higher if you can't,” added Mr.

Fogg. ”Go on, sir; do go on. You had better call us thieves, sir; or perhaps you would like to a.s.sault one of us. Pray do it, sir, if you would; we will not make the slightest resistance. Pray do it, sir.”

As Fogg put himself very temptingly within the reach of Mr. Pickwick's clenched fist there is little doubt that gentleman would have complied with his earnest entreaty but for the interposition of Sam, who, hearing the dispute, emerged from the office, mounted the stairs, and seized his master by the arm.

”You just come avay,” said Mr. Weller. ”Battledore and shuttlec.o.c.k's a wery good game, when you ain't the shuttlec.o.c.k and two lawyers the battledores, in which case it gets too excitin' to be pleasant. Come avay, sir. If you want to ease your mind by blowing up somebody come out into the court and blow up me; but it's rayther too expensive work to be carried on here.”

With that good advice Mr. Weller took Mr. Pickwick away from the lawyers'

office. But before we say anything about the trial itself let me introduce to you another solicitor not so well known as either Perker or Dodson and Fogg, but to my mind the most interesting as he certainly is the most humorous.

Mr. Pell had the honour of being the legal adviser of Mr. Weller, Senior.

The latter gentleman always stoutly maintained that if Mr. Pickwick had had the services of Mr. Pell, and had established an _alibi_, the great case of Bardell against Pickwick would have been decided otherwise. Mr.

Pell practised in the Insolvency Court. He ”was a fat, flabby, pale man, in a surtout which looked green one moment, and brown the next, with a velvet collar of the same chameleon tints. His forehead was narrow, his face wide, his head large, and his nose all on one side, as if Nature, indignant with the propensities she observed in him at his birth, had given it an angry tweak which it had never recovered. Being short-necked and asthmatic, however, he respired princ.i.p.ally through this feature; so, perhaps, what it wanted in ornament, it made up in usefulness.”

Mr. Pell had successfully piloted Mr. Weller through the Insolvency Court, and his services were sought to carry out the process by which Sam Weller became a voluntary prisoner in the Fleet at the suit of his obdurate parent.

”The late Lord Chancellor, gentlemen, was very fond of me,” said Mr.

Pell.

”And wery creditable in him, too,” interposed Mr. Weller.

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