Part 20 (2/2)
I don't remember how long Maddy cried, but I know I would have held her forever. I wanted to be her Galahad, but I felt helpless and humbled in the face of all she'd suffered and endured. And though my mind railed against all she had told me, I loved her all the more, for she was the most courageous woman I've ever known. After what seemed an exquisite eternity, her sobbing quieted and her breathing became slow and even. She stirred in my arms, then lifted her head from my shoulders.
”I'm all right now,” she said.
”Are you sure?”
She nodded, wiping her red-rimmed eyes.
”Did you mean what you said, Maddy?” I asked her, my apprehension rising. ”Do you want to be with me...and see Rudy again?”
The green of her eyes seemed to glow in the warm amber light suffusing the suite. ”More than anything. But, Trevor, I-I don't have much time.”
I caressed her face, tracing her jawline with my index finger.
”Maybe you don't, then again, maybe you do. Who the h.e.l.l knows? The first step is wanting it. I can't tell you how many times I've read or heard about spontaneous remissions. A lot of it has to do with mental att.i.tude. And they're always coming up with new treatments....”
Maddy nodded.
”I know all that, and G.o.d knows I've prayed for it.... But what if I'm not one of the lucky ones?”
I bit back the wave of emotion threatening to sweep over me, and met her penetrating gaze. ”Then we'll enjoy every moment we have together. You, me, and Rudy.”
She threw her arms around me then. ”Jesus, you're too good to be true.”
”No, I'm not. I stay up to all hours writing when I'm under a deadline, I'm crabby if I don't get my morning coffee, and I snore-loudly.”
”Oh, really? And do you sit around in your underwear, too?”
”Every chance I get.”
Maddy laughed, the gleam back in her eyes. ”Oh, Trevor, I'm so glad you came on board.” Then her expression turned serious. ”What are we going to do?”
I told her about Harlan's plan to put me off in the lifeboat. ”I'm sure he can spare the extra food and water, and with the satellite phone, and my laptop as a backup, we'll be rescued quickly. I'm feeling guilty, though.”
”About what?”
”Come tomorrow night, you and I will getting off this boat, while everyone else....”
Maddy shook her head.
”You have to stop thinking that way. People have a right to decide their own destiny.”
”Like this? I mean, it's one thing to sign a non-resuscitation form, or have your life support turned off, it's quite another to just blithely kill yourself.”
”You don't know what it's like, Trevor. How can you? To know with dead certainty your life will be over in a very short time. All of us live an illusion, that we're somehow immortal, that it just won't happen to us. Well it does, Trevor, it does. And any way you slice it, it isn't pretty.” She stopped talking for a moment, then resumed. ”I know we've known each other for a mere instant of time, but I feel I can see into your heart. You're a compa.s.sionate man, who's weighed down by both society's conventions and a genuine desire to do the right thing.”
”Only here, the right thing isn't so obvious.”
”It is to me.”
I frowned. ”What are you talking about?”
”You need to make your peace with Harlan.”
Maddy was right-again.
I wanted to go back, to talk to him, but I was afraid, afraid to see the horrifying mask of death his face had become, and I was afraid he had not forgiven me.
Maddy picked up the iPod touch and held it out to me. ”Take this. Your book won't be complete without his story.”
Right again.
”Maybe you should be my agent, instead of Marty.”
”Who's Marty?”
”A royal pain in the b.u.t.t, and a good friend. Like you.”
Maddy smiled. ”You, too. I think that's why I love you so much. You're easy to like.”
I took the iPod touch and headed for the door. ”I'll see you in an hour or so. We'll have breakfast. For some reason, I'm suddenly in the mood for some obscenely rich food.”
”Go,” she said, laughing.
Outside, in the hallway, I steeled myself and walked back to Harlan's suite. The steward guarding the door eyed me with a neutral expression, and I was almost disappointed when he stepped back from the door without protest. ”He's expecting you,” the steward said.
I nodded my thanks and entered the suite, closing the heavy carved door behind me with a m.u.f.fled click. The sitting room was empty, and I wondered for only an instant as to where Charley had gone. I put him out of my mind, spotting the warm glow emanating from the master bedroom. I moved forward, the soft pile of the carpet giving under my feet.
At the bedroom door, I spied Harlan lying in one of the two twin beds, propped up on pillows covered with gold satin pillow cases matching the satin sheets. He gave me a weak smile. ”Come on in, kiddo, I won't bite.”
I moved into the room, his hollow eyes following me. The room smelled of fresh cut flowers and I saw a bouquet on the nightstand. But underneath that odor was something less palatable, a sickly, cloying smell reeking of death.
”I see you brought your witness,” he said, referring to the iPod touch. ”I guess it's time for my grilling, eh?” He laughed, bringing on a coughing jag. He pointed toward a carafe of water sitting on a silver tray across the room. I went over to it, poured him some into a crystal tumbler, then handed it to him.
”You all right?”
He nodded. ”Never better, kiddo, never better.”
I placed the iPod touch on his nightstand.
”We'll do a lot better if you confine yourself to the truth, Harlan.”
”You sure you want it?”
I refused to take his bait, and sat down, fixing him with a level gaze.
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