Part 42 (2/2)
”My guess is that she told you the truth. It might have been sixteen years too late, but give her credit for finally telling both of us.”
”That's just it-she didn't tell me. Grandmother told me. She didn't mean to, but she got so angry when I told her I liked you and I hoped my mom married you that she just blurted it out.”
”Elaine Nelson always was a real piece of work.”
Ignoring Jack's a.s.sessment of his grandmother, Seth asked, ”Was Mom telling me the truth when she said that she just told you last night?”
”Yes, she was telling you the truth.”
”How'd you feel when she told you? I bet you hate her, too, don't you?”
Did he hate Cathy? She had kept the truth about his son from him for sixteen years, and if he hadn't come back to Dunmore, he might never have found out he was a father. It had been less than twenty-four hours since he had learned the truth about his relations.h.i.+p with Seth, not nearly enough time to figure out how he felt or what he should do. But time enough to realize that when Cathy had married Mark Cantrell, she had done it because she believed she was doing the right thing, the best thing for her child.
For his child.
”No, I don't hate her,” Jack said, in an honest gut response.
”How can you not?” Seth asked, all his youthful agony quivering in his voice.
”Because I've had some time to think about it, and I realize that, under the circ.u.mstances, your mother did what she thought she had to do to protect you.”
”Protect me how? I don't understand.”
”Cathy and I were a couple of kids. She was seventeen, fresh out of high school, and I was twenty, home on leave from the army. We had two weeks together and fell head over heels for each other the way only kids that age can. I was careless. I got her pregnant.
”I had no idea she was pregnant, and she didn't have any way of letting me know. I was sent to the Middle East during the Gulf War and wound up a POW. The army told my family that I was MIA and presumed dead. By the time I could let Cathy know I was alive, she had already married Mark Cantrell.”
”Mom thought you were dead?” Seth's eyes, a duplicate of his own, stared at him, and Jack knew his son had desperately needed complete honesty.
”Yes, so you see, she did what she did because she felt she had no choice if she wanted to protect you. She married Mark Cantrell to give you a father. And from what I've learned, he was a good dad to you, wasn't he?”
”Yeah, he was a good dad, but...”
”But what?”
”But when Mom found out you were alive, she should have told you. She should have told me.”
”You're right. She should have, but she didn't. And we're both going to have to find a way to forgive her, because we both love her and we know she did what she believed was best for you.”
Seth stared at him in disbelief. ”You still love her?”
Jack clamped his hand down gently on his son's shoulder. ”Yeah, I still love her. I'm mad as h.e.l.l at her right now, and a part of me would like to wring her pretty little neck, but somehow, someway, she and I are going to work our way through this.” He squeezed Seth's shoulder. ”What about you and me? Do you think you could give me a chance to be a father to you?”
”Do you want that, to be my father?”
”I do. More than you'll ever know.”
”Maybe. Yeah. Okay. I guess.”
”We won't rush it,” Jack told him. ”We'll take it slow and easy. It'll be a new experience for me, having a son.”
”I don't really hate you,” Seth said.
Jack grinned. ”I know, Son, I know. What about your mom?”
”I'm not sure.”
”You love your mother.”
”Yeah, I love her,” Seth said. ”But she lied to me, and it was a big lie.”
”She made a mistake. She's only human. We all make mistakes.”
”Dad would want me to...I mean, Mark would want me to forgive her. He taught forgiveness.”
”Look, Seth. Mark Cantrell was your father in every way that mattered, and I'd be a fool not to appreciate the fact that he was there for you when I wasn't. Don't ever feel guilty about loving him or thinking of him as your dad.”
”You mean that?”
”Yes, Son, I do.”
”I guess I feel the way you do.” Seth tried to smile, but the effort failed. ”I love Mom, but I'm mad as h.e.l.l at her.”
”I'm sure she'll give you all the time you need to work through your feelings, but you should tell her that you don't hate her and you're working on forgiving her.”
”I can't talk to her. Not yet.” Seth looked at Jack pleadingly. ”Would you talk to her. Tell her how we feel. I mean, how I feel?”
d.a.m.n! He needed more time himself, so he understood how Seth felt. But at least he could call Cathy and let her know that he and Seth both still loved her. ”Sure thing. I'll call her. In the meantime, if you want to talk to me again, I'm here for you.”
When Seth stood, Jack did, too. Father and son faced each other.
”I wish Granddad and Nana didn't have to find out,” Seth said. ”This will break their hearts.”
”It's not your place to have to tell them. Your mother should be the one to explain things to them.”
”When you talk to her, will you tell her that?”
”Yes, I will.”
”Thanks, uh, Jack. It's okay if I call you Jack, isn't it? I know you're my father, but-”
”Jack's fine.”
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