Chapter 17 (1/2)

17 I’m Here Without You

A hundred days made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face,

I was laying underneath the bed when suddenly the door opened. Someone has entered the room.

A thousand life’s have made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same,

I saw a foot of an old person that gradually enters the room.

All the miles have separate, it disappeared now when I’m reading of your face.

I peeked outside, an elderly woman came in, she is smiling as she looked all around the room.

She has a pleasant face, she is old but still beautiful, her face is familiar to me.

“Jessica”

I’m here without you baby, but you still on my lonely mind,

She sat on the edge of the bed and still continued to look around the room. Then she touched her chest, closed her eyes and smiled.

I think about you baby, and I dreamed about you all the time,

I slowly approached her from behind, looking at her intently to be sure that she is really Jessica. The nearer I come, the more faster my heart beats.

I’m here without you baby,

She slowly turned towards me, both of us staring at each other. I smiled at her. It is really Jessica. She looked at me from head to foot, she touched my cheeked and smiled back at me.

But your still with me in my dreams, and tonight, it’s only you and me.

She is almost in tears while smiling, it looks like she also could not believe that I am here.

“Hi Jessica”, I said smiling.

She continued to caress my cheek, “Allen?” she says.

“Ya, it is me the monster inside of your bed,” I said grinning, she laughed.

“You haven’t change, still young, such a wondrous thing.”

“See? I’m right, I cannot be with you.”

“True, the reason why our love story become tragic.”

“But you made another love story with Chris,” I said smiling. “By the way how is he?”

“Your right I made another love story with him, I love him. He pa.s.sed two years ago.” I was saddened by what she said. “How about you? How are you?” She asked.

“Me? Still the same. Still like this.” I said at her smiling.

Staring at each other, she looked different from my sight, I now see her as the young Jessica.

“Like Peter Pan, Peter remained young and Wendy grow old.” she said smiling.

“But not like Peter Pan, he can choose whether to grow old or not, I cant.”

“More worse than Romeo and Juliet, at least in the end they were together.”

“Romeo can die, but I cant.”

Our tears gradually flowed.

“I’ve endured for so long,” Jessica said.

[Jessica’s POV]

(Flashback)

I had given birth to a child, and I was crying seeing my first child. I am now a mother Allen.  I have a daughter now and I’ll named her Christine, from her father’s name Chris.

It was really hard and at the same time happy being a first time Mom, but Chris is always there for me. We both adjusting for being first time parents.

I did not introduced her to you, because of what I had said before. You know my reason right?

Because of sadness, I poured all my time and love to my family. I saw Christine growing and I am proud to Chris and me because I know we are successful in raising her.

Everyday I longed to talked to you and say h.e.l.lo, see you face and hear your voice. But I endured because I don’t want to cry and I also promise that I will be loyal to Chris.

When dad died and m

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om followed, I was really sad. I cant stop myself to come to my room and talked to you, though you did not spoke but my the pain I felt lighten. Because I know that you are listening.

Many are wondering why I don’t want to sell the house and just left it vacant. Even Chris said that we should just live there and give Christine my room but I refused so that you can lived there.

Many years has pa.s.sed but I still love you Allen. I know it was unfair to Chris because was loving other man than him. You are my first love and he is my present love, but I know Chris felt how much I love him. I thought many times times to tell him about you but maybe he won’t believe me, so I just left it.

Time flew fast, Christine is now in college. There are men who courted her at the house, and maybe she has also someone she like. So this the feeling of being a parent, you will be protective of your child.

When Christine graduated college and had a job.  There was our fear that we might wake up one day and you will also get married.

My relations.h.i.+p with Chris further deepen. We’ve been together for so long and our love also deepens, but I still could not forget about you Allen.

The time that fears me the most has come. Christine is getting married. Imagine the baby that I was carrying, the child that I was chasing in fear that she might injured herself, and the child that was crying for me before. Is now a woman, in love and going to marry. I cried when I saw her walking in the isle towards the altar. I am happy to I have raise her with Chris.

Christine also had a family of her own. We are left with just the two of us. Until she became a mother and I became a grandmother.

Chris and I both grow old being together, I grow old with him, he is my forever. Until one day in the balcony of the house sitting on the rocking chair, he grabbed my hand.

“Thank you for everything,” he said smiling.

“Same, than you too.” I answered.

“I know that at first you did not really love me.” I was surprised at what he said.

“And I was jealous at the person you love,” he added, “I was searching for him, but I did not found anything.” he tightened his hold on my hand, “the said that I was your first boyfriend and the don’t know any person that you love.”

“Chris”

“Jessica, thank you! Because at first I thought you will eventually leave me. I really love you. But eventually I feel that you also love me.”