Part 12 (2/2)
”Because you haven't taken a call from your father or me since last week.”
”My cell was broken.” It wasn't I just didn't want to talk to them; Jonah was starting to show me that I didn't have to take their s.h.i.+t.
”Your father and I had a lovely dinner with Mark Todd tonight.” I'm sure they did, surprisingly Jonah and Mark, a friend of my parents knew each other but the way they were looking at each other made it quite clear they weren't friends. ”Mark told us you were with your new boyfriend. I was unaware you had a boyfriend.” Oh no. ”Why don't you bring him to dinner at the house tomorrow?”
”I don't know mom, I'll have to ask him.”
”No, you will come Olivia. You have skipped out on two family dinners, you will be there.”
”I'll ask Jonah. Goodbye mom.” Hanging up before I screamed how much I didn't want Jonah anywhere near them, I flopped on to Jonah's bed face first as my cell rang again.
Groaning I slammed the phone against my ear, ”I said I would ask him mother.” I snapped. No voice came through the phone only a slight humming sound, ”Mom?” I said sitting up.
Taking the phone from my ear I looked to see who it was and felt my heart fall into my stomach.
In big white letters across my screen was *Alex's Cell' for the last four years every once in a while I would get a call from Alex's cell. My brother was dead, it was not him calling from beyond the grave, it was Nicky calling. I was sure of it, even though he never talked; there was no one else that could have Alex's phone.
”Nicky?” I half cried half screamed, ”Why are you doing this to me? I said I was sorry, I didn't mean for Alex to get hurt, you have to believe me. I thought I was helping.”
”Olivia?” Mason shouted from outside Jonah's door.
”Nicky?” I whispered as the phone line went dead.
”Olivia?” Mason said again coming into the room, his whole body going on alert as he looked at me, ”What's wrong?” he said loudly running towards me his cell in his hand no doubt ready to call Jonah or back up, the way those boys had been fussing over me about the stupid black car.
”I'm fine, I just hit my sore knee.” I said as strongly as I could but the tremble was still there and I was breathing like I'd just run a mile.
s.h.i.+t I was having a panic attack.
s.h.i.+t, why did Nicky have to do this to me I already knew he blamed me for killing his twin, he'd made it quite clear by what he did right after Alex's death, he didn't have to call and remind me. But what if he called because he needed me? Was he hurt, alone, had I ruined him like I'd ruined myself?
”Olivia!” Mason shouted his hands on my shoulder shaking me.
”I'm fine.” I said slowly trying to push the fear back that was weighing on my mind.
”So why are you crying?” Mason asked obviously not buying my story.
”HurtsaCrier.” I wheezed ”Olivia G.o.ddammit you're having a panic attack.”
”Oh s.h.i.+taI can'tabreathe.”
”Put your head between your legs.” He said picking me up and putting me on the ground then gently but quickly pus.h.i.+ng my head down. ”Do you take medicine?”
”Bag.” I gasped.
Mason was back in less than a minute but it felt like hours.
”How many?”
It was two hard to speak now so I held up two shaky fingers. The pill bottle rattled, my head was pushed back up and thank the Lord for sweet Mason he put the pills in my mouth and the water to my lips.
The medicine worked fast or maybe it was Mason comforting me, whatever it was my breathing had slowed, the fear was gone, the shaking was only a slight tremble and I wasn't crying anymore.
Mason was sitting next to me one arm holding me to his side, the other rubbing my back.
”How did you know?” I croaked out my voice hoa.r.s.e from crying.
”I work for a PI I've seen my fair share of panic attacks and,” he said his voice, going so quiet I could barely hear him, ”At one of the foster home's there was this girl who had really bad panic attacks, I would help take care of her sometimes.”
”How come you're always taking care of everyone else but you won't let anyone take care of you?” I asked feeling his body go rigid.
”I don't want to know what it feels like.”
Despite the pounding headache and my muscles hurting ridiculously bad from all the shaking I pulled back and looked him in the eyes, ”Why not?”
Letting his head drop he shut his eyes, ”I don't want to know what I've been missing. You can't miss what you've never had.”
My life truly sucked sometimes and there were things I wish never happened, things I would change if I could; but never had I been so broken I'd just stopped feeling. Jonah and Denny could love Mason as much as they wanted but he would never know until he let himself feel. Heartbreakingly I realized that this was something I couldn't fix, friends.h.i.+p and brotherly love wouldn't do it. This would have to be his risk, his risk to love someone and let that someone love him back.
”Mason, Jonah doesn't know.” I whispered.
Nodding his head he looked up at me with understanding, ”I won't tell him anything but this is something you can tell him.”
Yawning, Mason stood us both up, helping me crawl straight into bed. ”Will you be ok to sleep?”
”The pills make me sleepy.” I said yawning again.
With a slight smile Mason headed towards the door.
”Thank you Mason.” I called as he headed to the door.
Nodding Mason left the room and I fell right to sleep.
Walking through the club I pa.s.sed Ben walking onto the dance floor with a blonde girl, as we pa.s.sed each other I slipped a small black money package into his jacket pocket, slapping him on the back greeting him like one of Club Risk's regulars, greeting me back with a chin lift Ben turned his attention back to the blonde girl.
Continuing my walk around, Kay who was also the club's office manager waved me over, ”Mason's called, said to call him on a disposable cell and to do it fast.”
Nodding once I jogged into my office, unlocking the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet I pulled out one of a couple dozen disposable cell phones.
Dialing Mason's number I relocked the drawer and started to pace. If Mason wanted me to use a disposable cell that meant he wanted to make sure no one could listen in or track the call, whatever this was about it was not good.
”Yo.” Mason said finally picking up.
”What's wrong?”
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