Part 6 (1/2)

Backing up I felt the door hit my back but it didn't hurt, my body had already gone numb, knowing what was coming next. ”I can't do secrets.”

”I know.” Jonah said looking up at me with eyes so full of pain I wanted to fling myself into his arms and comfort him.

”We're not even going to try are we?” I asked without hope.

”If we did I would only end up breaking your heart and that is just something I don't want to do.”

”Well this is a first. I've never been dumped before the first date.” And d.a.m.n did it hurt.

”Let me get changed, I'll take you home.”

”Don't worry about it; my car is just down the street.”

”Then let me walk you.”

”I'm fine.” I yelled. He didn't care enough to tell me his secrets so why should he care about my safety.

”I'd really rather you didn't walk alone.”

”That's really not your choice.” Jonah's face fell further, his yellow-green eyes going back to that haunted look. Breaking my heart a little bit more.

Feeling my eyes fill with tears I grabbed my purse and ran to the front door.

My hand was on the door handle when a strong hand gripped my upper arm spinning me around. ”Please don't leave like this.” Jonah asked his voice cracking and his body so close I could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest.

His eyes dropped to my lips causing a s.h.i.+ver to run through my body. How could I feel so angry and hurt by him but still want to kiss him like crazy.

Jonah bent his head bringing his lips with in an inch of mine, all I would have to do is pucker my lips and I would be kissing the man of my dreams.

But one kiss from Jonah would never do, it would only make it harder to walk away.

”Please don't.” I spoke across his lips as a single tear fell.

Catching the tear with his thumb Jonah backed up opening the door.

Turning around I flung myself through the door and fled from the man I had already fallen in love with.

Vinnie was talking but all I could see and hear was Olivia running away from me down the street without once looking back. Her tortured face and that single tear were running a close second. In a matter of minutes I'd wrecked us both and lost the only girl I could ever see myself loving all because I was in business with a drug lord.

Elbowing me in the side Denny brought my attention back to Vinnie.

”The boss of their business, if we can call it that,” Vinnie hissed taking a drink, ”Lives out of state. Nick, his right hand man use to run a pretty good business running drugs through the private schools four years ago but left suddenly. Now he's back and he wants the private schools back.”

”We don't sell to the teens.” I responded immediately a bad feeling hitting me in the stomach.

Giving me an evil smile Vinnie shrugged, ”Sure we don't.”

f.u.c.k, I was going to be sick I could barely handle the adult sc.u.m we sold to but teens running drugs through their schools...No.

What the h.e.l.l was wrong with me? This was so wrong.

Closing my eyes and trying to breathe through the sick feeling, I did something I had never done before.

Without a word, I walked out.

Chapter 8.

Wet gravel squashed under my boot covered feet, it was a Sat.u.r.day and once again I was at the animal shelter. I was feeling unloved and as lost as all the animals.

It had been one week since I let Jonah go and in that one week he had become the lead role in every dream and in a couple of nightmares too. Even in the day I couldn't get away from him, he seemed to occupy my every thought. And it was the freaking what if questions that had me staring into s.p.a.ce.

I left no room in my life for secrets. Alex had kept a lot of secrets and died because of them. What if I knew his secrets would it have changed the outcome? Would he be alive right now and I would be somewhere warm wrapped around Jonah not caring that he had secrets?

With the sky starting to turn dark and my fingers and toes numb and flirting with frostbite, I called the dog running in the field back to me to return him to the shelter.

Like I'd done almost all week when I got home I went straight to my room and laid on my bed and stared at the walls, wondering if I was truly crazy like my mother said I was. Was it normal to be caught up on someone you never really had? And why him, what was it about Jonah that I just couldn't let go?

I was still thinking about this when Ty and Darcy sat on my bed giving me unhappy looks.

”Are you ready to tell us what happened last weekend?” Darcy asked pulling my feet across her legs to make more room for herself.

”There is nothing to talk about, I barely knew him. I saw him all of four times it's not like he made a dent in my life.” No he hadn't made a dent; he had made a huge freaking Jonah shaped hole in my life.

”I think if you're this hung up on the guy after only seeing him four times then he must mean something to you, Olivia.” Ty said giving me a look that said he knew just how much Jonah meant to me.

Hating how right he was, as it wouldn't change anything, I pushed myself off the bed marching across the room to my closet.

Taking my anger out on my poor clothes, I tried to find a stupid outfit to go to stupid dinner with my stupid parents. I knocked dresses off their hangers and threw s.h.i.+rts and jeans out of the way. G.o.d I didn't want to deal with them on top of everything else.

Clutching an outfit that I knew would have my mother b.i.t.c.hing up a storm a' a white strapless bustier that showed a little too much cleavage and a black pencil skirt dress that showed a lot of leg a' I turned to Ty and Darcy and asked the question I hadn't been able to answer all week. ”What if Jonah has secrets he's not willing to share?”

”Everyone has secrets Olivia, even you.” Ty sighed his eyebrows rising in challenge.

”What's Jonah's last name?” Darcy blurted face going slightly pale.

”Diaz I think. At least that's what the bouncer at the door of Club Risk told me.”

”Have you told him about Alex or Nicky or were you planning on telling him about them?” Darcy asked causing me to drop the hangers I was holding and Ty to take a sharp intake of breath.

”Please, don't say his name.” I said my voice high-pitched and shaky. It hurt just to hear his name and saying it out loud was something I hadn't done in a very long time. There was no question; I wouldn't be telling Jonah about him, ever. Maybe one day I would tell him about Alex, but never him.

”You don't have to answer that Liv.” Ty hissed staring at Darcy with hatred, ”But answer me this are you going to let him get away just because he has some secrets?”

”Maybe you should just bang him out of your system, I'll find you someone hot.” Darcy smiled.