Part 21 (2/2)

The boy nodded, brus.h.i.+ng at his lank hair where it fell across his face. ”I guess.”

The Gray Man considered him. ”How would you like to become someone who could make a difference in all of that?”

The boy blinked. ”What do you mean? Make a difference how?”

”Place yourself in a position where you could speak to everyone about the things that need doing, that might have life-altering consequences for everyone, and see to it that the right choices are made. Would you be interested?”

”No one can do that. Not even you.”

Sider Ament smiled. ”Sometimes, I can. And sometimes is enough to keep me trying.”

”But I'm not you. I'm just a Tracker.”

”Not just a Tracker, Panterra. You are much more than that. You are special at what you do; you are gifted and skilled. I wasn't exaggerating when I told Esselline I had good reason for bringing you along with me. I haven't met another with your talent in all the time I've been walking the valley and warding its pa.s.ses.”

The boy looked uncertain. ”Prue is more talented than I am.”

”It might seem so, but she's not. And she is too young. She relies on you. You rely only on yourself. Yours are the greater skills. Even if you don't think so, it is true.”

”Well, I don't see-” The boy stopped midsentence and stared at Sider. ”What's the point of this conversation? What are you trying to say to me?”

”I am trying to tell you that I think you should be the next to bear this talisman.” He lifted the black staff a few inches, drawing the boy's eyes to its rune-carved length. ”I think you should become my apprentice and train with me to take my place when I am gone.”

Panterra Qu smiled and almost laughed. Sider watched the laugh surface and then disappear as the boy suppressed it. ”I don't want to carry the staff,” the boy said quickly. ”I just want to be a Tracker.”

”You would be a Tracker still. You would keep your skills and use them often. But you would do much more, too. You would serve a higher cause than Trow Ravenlock and the people of Glensk Wood.”

”No, that's enough for me. Besides, there's Prue. I have to look out for her.”

Sider took a deep breath. There it was-the crux of the matter. He gave the boy a smile. ”Yes, there's Prue. You consider her your best friend, don't you?”

”I do. You know that.”

”Do you love her?”

He hesitated, caught off guard by the question. Perhaps no one had ever asked it. Perhaps he hadn't even considered it. He didn't seem to know what to say. ”As I would a sister, yes,” he replied finally.

”Nothing more?”

”Not as I think you mean.”

”Does she love you?”

Again, the hesitation. ”In the same way. As a brother.”

”Then there is no difficulty in doing what I suggest. You do not have to stop loving each other as friends and siblings, and you can still be together as much as you choose. Nothing about bearing the black staff prevents this. But ...”

He held up one hand, palm open toward the boy, as if to stop something he might be about to say. ”But something else might prevent it. Not just if you become my successor and the next bearer of the staff, but even if you choose to remain a simple Tracker from Glensk Wood. What you had once envisioned for both of you is finished. That future is gone. It left with the collapse of the magic that warded the valley. It left when the doors opened to the outside world and our survival became a much more perilous undertaking.”

The boy gave him a look, and he smiled in spite of himself. ”I know how that sounds. But I don't say these things only because the protective wall is down and the pa.s.ses are open. I say them because I met a man while I was outside the valley, and he told me what the world was like. He described it in detail, and it is not a place that will tolerate weakness or indecision. It is populated by dangerous creatures and infused with the residue of the poisons and the resultant mutations of the Great Wars. Those of the human Race that survived did so by being tougher and stronger than those who did not. The Trolls who besiege the valley are indicative of what's out there. But they are only one example.”

He paused, letting the boy think it through. ”It isn't hard to see what I am trying to say, is it? A battle for survival is at hand, and it will require more than any of us have considered giving in the past. Life will not be as simple or safe. It will be hard and dangerous, and it will demand a great deal of everyone. You already have a better chance of doing something about that than most. But that chance will increase a hundredfold if you accept my offer. Not only for you, but for those whom you choose to protect.”

The boy was silent for a while longer, and then he shook his head doubtfully. ”I don't know. I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I want to.”

Sider nodded. ”I don't know, either. Neither of us will know until the moment I pa.s.s the staff to you. All we can do until then is to try to prepare you for what having the staff means. We can talk about it. We can examine it. You can ask what questions you would, and I can answer them as best I know. This will give you a chance to see if it might be something that interests you-not in the abstract, but in the practice of it. I will try to convince you that you are the right man to bear it. But I will not force you to take it, and I will not expect you to force yourself. It has to be voluntary. You have to feel the need.”

The boy shook his head again. ”I don't like the idea of it. I don't want to be responsible for so many people.”

”How is that different from what you do now? You act as surrogate to an entire village and by proxy for the entire valley in most cases. They depend on your Tracker's skills to ward them, to keep them safe, to see them right. If you fail, many times your own number will suffer as a consequence. Many more lives are in your hands now than ever before because of the danger of an invasion. You cannot pretend that taking up the staff will in any measurable way increase the nature of your responsibility. What it will do is give you a better chance of doing your job as it needs doing.”

”Your argument suggests that as a Tracker I alone am responsible for everyone.” The boy was standing his ground, thinking it through. ”There are other Trackers, equally qualified, equally responsible, and they share my burden. If I become the next bearer of the black staff, I will stand alone.”

”You will,” Sider agreed. ”But how disagreeable do you find that? Do you not see yourself as standing alone even now? Isn't that how you approach what you do-by telling yourself the responsibility is yours and it doesn't matter if there are others who could do it equally well or who might be called upon to share your burden? You don't think of it that way, do you? You think of it as yours and yours alone.”

He could see that he was right. He could see it in the boy's eyes and feel it in his hesitation. ”But it still isn't the same,” the boy persisted.

Sider let the answer hang a moment, and then he put a hand on the boy's shoulder and squeezed softly. ”Why don't we leave it here for now? We can talk about it again later. You can think about what I've said. We should eat something and then sleep.”

The boy nodded but said nothing. Sider could tell he was already thinking it through.

THEY PREPARED THEIR DINNER, a rabbit cooked over a fire, some day-old bread they had been given before leaving Hold-Fast-Crossing, some root vegetables foraged and sliced to cook with the meat, and cups of cold springwater. They ate in silence as the last of the light faded from the sky and the stars began to come out.

”Tomorrow, we will reach Glensk Wood,” Sider said once the meal was done and they were sitting by the dying fire, listening to the sounds of the night as it closed about them. ”I will leave you there and go on alone. I won't be back for several days.”

The boy was silent for several moments. ”Is this because I won't agree to be your apprentice?”

Sider almost smiled, but managed with some effort to keep a straight face. ”It has nothing to do with that. I am going out of the valley to find Prue and bring her back.”

The boy looked over quickly. ”Then you have to take me with you. I can help.”

”Not this time. I know you want to come with me, but I will have a better chance of saving her if I go alone.”

The boy shook his head. ”It doesn't seem right letting you do this when I was the one who left her. I should be the one to go back.”

Sider leaned forward, wrapped his arms around his knees, and looked off into the trees. ”You have to trust me on this. You have to defer to my judgment.”

He said it kindly, keeping his voice deliberately soft, but he could see the boy wince anyway. He was sorry he had to tell him like this, but time was running out for all of them, especially the girl. Taureq Siq would find out soon enough that no meeting between himself and the leaders of the valley was going to take place. When that happened, he would have no further use for Prue Liss and likely dispose of her quickly.

”What do you want me to do while you're gone?” the boy asked finally.

This was the right question to ask, Sider thought. ”I want you to go to Aislinne and tell her what's happened so that she can pa.s.s the information along to Pogue. She must let him know that help is on the way. In the meantime, be certain that the pa.s.s at Declan Reach is being fortified against an attack. I expect it to come at Aphalion, but we can't take that chance.”

The boy nodded. ”Will you come back through Declan Reach when you find her?”

”I will.”

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