Volume I Part 39 (2/2)
”My poor boy, you mustn't say that; I am your friend. I told you already I would be so.”
”But you 'll not be my friend when I tell you--when I tell you--all;”
and as the last word dropped, he covered his face with both his hands, and burst into a heavy pa.s.sion of tears.
”Come, come, Tom, this is not manly; bear up bravely, bear up with courage, man. You used to say you had plenty of pluck if it were to be tried.”
”So I thought I had, sir, but it has all left me;” and he sobbed as if his heart was breaking. ”But I believe I could bear anything but this,” said he, in a voice shaken by convulsive throes. ”It is the disgrace,--that 's what unmans me.”
”Take a gla.s.s of wine, collect yourself, and tell me all about it.”
”No, sir. No wine, thank you; give me a gla.s.s of water. There, I am better now; my brain is not so hot. You are very good to me, Mr.
Conyers, but it 's the last time I'll ever ask it,--the very last time, sir; but I 'll remember it all my life.”
”If you give way in this fas.h.i.+on, Tom, I 'll not think you the stout-hearted fellow I once did.”
”No, sir, nor am I. I 'll never be the same again. I feel it here. I feel as if something gave, something broke.” And he laid his hand over his heart and sighed heavily.
”Well, take your own time about it, Tom, and let me hear if I cannot be of use to you.”
”No, sir, not now. Neither you nor any one else can help me now. It's all over, Mr. Conyers,--it's all finished.”
”What is over,--what is finished?”
”And so, as I thought it would n't do for one like me to be seen speaking to you before people, I stole away and climbed over the barrack-wall. I cut my hand on the gla.s.s, too, but it's nothing. And here I am, and here's the money you gave me; I've no need of it now.”
And as he laid some crumpled bank-notes on the table, his overcharged heart again betrayed him, and he burst into tears. ”Yes, sir, that's what you gave me for the College, but I was rejected.”
”Rejected, Tom! How was that? Be calm, my poor fellow, and tell me all about it quietly.”
”I'll try, sir, I will, indeed; and I'll tell you nothing but the truth, that you may depend upon.” He took a great drink of water, and went on. ”If there was one man I was afraid of in the world, it was Surgeon Asken, of Mercer's Hospital. I used to be a dresser there, and he was always angry with me, exposing me before the other students, and ridiculing me, so that if anything was done badly in the wards, he 'd say, 'This is some of Master Dill's work, is n't it?' Well, sir, would you believe it, on the morning I went up for my examination, Dr. Coles takes ill, and Surgeon Asken is called on to replace him. I did n't know it till I was sent for to go in, and my head went round, and I could n't see, and a cold sweat came over me, and I was so confused that when I got into the room I went and sat down beside the examiners, and never knew what they were laughing at.
”'I have no doubt, Mr. Dill, you 'll occupy one of these places at some future day,' says Dr. Willes, 'but for the present your seat is yonder.'
I don't remember much more after that, till Mr. Porter said, 'Don't be so nervous, Mr. Dill; collect yourself; I am persuaded you know what I am asking you, if you will not be flurried.' And all I could say was, 'G.o.d bless you for that speech, no matter how it goes with me' and they all laughed out.
”It was Asken's turn now, and he began. 'You are destined for the navy, I understand, sir?'
”'No, sir; for the army,' said I.
”'From what we have seen to-day, you 'll prove an ornament to either service. Meanwhile, sir, it will be satisfactory to the court to have your opinion on gun-shot wounds. Describe to us the case of a man laboring under the worst form of concussion of the brain, and by what indications you would distinguish it from fracture of the base of the skull, and what circ.u.mstances might occur to render the distinction more difficult, and what impossible?' That was his question, and if I was to live a hundred years I 'll never forget a word in it,--it's written on my heart, I believe, for life.
”'Go on, sir,' said he, 'the court is waiting for you.'
”'Take the case of concussion first,' said Dr. Willes.
”'I hope I may be permitted to conduct my own examination in my own manner,' said Asken.
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