Part 67 (1/2)

All day long Lydia waited in the shed. She wrapped herself in her quilt. Alfred had gone off to his newspaper office and in her mind she admired the way he kept himself functioning as if life had not cracked open to a burning h.e.l.l-pit under his feet. But at the same time a part of her heart wanted him to scream. To rage. To rant through the streets in sackcloth and ashes, to show the world that life without Valentina was unbearable. But no. He was English. Englishmen didn't believe in sackcloth and ashes. A dark suit. A black armband. That sufficed.

Lydia had chosen to wear one of her mother's white dresses. It was plain with a long row of jet b.u.t.tons down the front and a large white lace collar. It looked all wrong on her, she knew, but she didn't care. It soothed a small part of the ache.

As she sat in the shed she made herself study the dried bloodstains on the wooden walls and floor, and thought about scrubbing them but decided against it. It would be like was.h.i.+ng away Sun Yat-sen, and she wasn't willing to do that. But she did lay out the same blankets as before on the floor and sat down in the middle of them, gazing up at the skylight above her head. Though the hours crawled by and nothing happened, except the day grew darker, she kept calling his name softly.

'Chang An Lo, Chang An Lo, Chang An Lo.'

If she stopped, something inside her knew he'd die. It was that simple.

The hairs on her arms began to p.r.i.c.kle and she knew he was near. Above her the skylight was black as a grave while beside her a single candle burned with a flame that flickered and leaped, sending shadows careening around the walls.

She told herself it was the wind outside stealing through the shed's cracks and under the door. She wanted to believe it. But she could hear their breathing. The spirits.

Gathering.

He was there. In the doorway. His black hair tousled by the wind, an air of wildness about him, a grubby green blanket thrown over his shoulders in place of a coat. His eyes wanting her.

'Chang An Lo,' she breathed and leaped into his arms.

He laughed, kicked the door shut, and carried her to the blankets. They didn't need words. No hows or whens or what ifs. They just needed each other. Their bodies so hungry they ached with the pain of it. Lips tasted each other again, sought out the hollows and sweet places that made moans of pleasure slip from their throats as their limbs entwined.

Her hands came alive as they explored Chang An Lo's lean frame once more, delighting in the long lines of his thighs and the broad planes of his chest. Her fingertips traced the familiar burn scars, as well as the vicious new bruises that sickened her stomach, so that she called down curses on Po Chu's name and that of the Kuomintang. So vehemently, he laughed. Until he saw her breast. Then the words that poured from him were unintelligible to her, in harsh Mandarin, and behind the fury in his black eyes was something hard and vengeful, something that had not been there before.

'I regret you shot Po Chu's face off, Lydia.' He kept one hand cupped protectively over her damaged breast.

'But why? The b.a.s.t.a.r.d deserved it, Devil rot him.'

'Because I longed to do it myself,' he said angrily. 'But only after I sliced off his seedless b.a.l.l.s and stuffed them into his maggot mouth.'

She kissed his chest and felt his heart beating strongly under her lips. Ran a hand over the sharp bones of his hips and down into the dense black bush of pubic hair. He bent his head and trailed his tongue over her pale stomach to the soft crease where it met the tender white skin of her thigh. Her body arched against his as he caressed and cradled, touched and teased, so that when he finally entered her the fire inside them forged them into one person. A perfect whole. Two halves moulded into one. They lay locked together for a long time afterward, the warmth of their breath brus.h.i.+ng their naked skin, their hearts finding a rhythm in time with each other.

'Lydia.'

She smiled. Just to hear his voice say her name. But at the same time a sharp pain was starting in her chest. She curled herself up in the curve of his arm, her head resting on his collarbone, her leg entangled with his, breathing his breath, smelling his skin, and shut her eyes for a long minute. Imprinting the moment forever in her head.

She opened her eyes. 'I know, my love. I know what you must say.'

'I have to leave Junchow.'

'Yes.'

He held her tight to him, a s.h.i.+ver running through his veins. 'I must leave you here, the light of my soul. Leave you safe.'

'I know.'

He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering on her skin. 'I cannot take you with me, my love.'

'I know.' Her throat tightened and the pain in her chest was worse than a knife. 'When I was captured by that snake Po Chu, I understood. The men there would be no different from a camp of Communist fighters. To them I would always be alien, a poisonous reminder of everything they were struggling to defeat. And as long as I was by your side, you would be in danger. I couldn't bear that. The enemy could use me to cripple you.'

His hand touched her face, his fingers gently sealing her lips.

She forced the words out of her mouth. 'I would be worse than shackles to you. So I know you must go alone.'

'The only thing you shackle is my heart. And I swear I will return for it.'

His eyes were brilliant in the candlelight. Free of fever. She saw in them the truth of the promise he'd just made but saw also the eagerness for what lay ahead of him, and the blade in her chest twisted a little.

'You'd better return,' she laughed and tipped her head back, showing her teeth, 'or I'll come charging up into the mountains to get you.'

He kissed her throat. 'The Communists and the Kuomintang would both flee screaming in terror at the fury of such a fox spirit.'

'I've made up a pack for you.' She pointed to a bulging leather bag with a buckle and long shoulder strap propped against the heap of sacks by the wall. 'Food and clothing. There's money in there too.'

'A knife?'

'Of course. A good one.'

He nodded his satisfaction. 'I thank you, my love. Your father has grown more generous?'

'My father . . .' She heard the raw edge to her voice, swallowed, and started again. 'My stepfather has other things on his mind.' That was when she told him. About her mother. About the letter. And Alexei Serov. He held her close and she let hot tears flow for the first time since her mother's death. Something hard and knotted loosened inside her.

'Will they come after you again, the Kuomintang troops?' she asked at last.

'Like wolves scenting fresh blood.'

'And Alexei?'

'When they find out he gave the order for my release, the Russian will have to answer to them.'

She nodded.

For a moment his gaze fixed on her in silence, and then his eyes widened. He rolled up onto his elbow in one fluid movement and took her chin in his hand. He shook it in jerky little sweeps. She noticed that the wound where his finger had been was almost healed.

'You planned it well,' he said. 'And in a way that helps the Communist cause.'

She nodded.

'The Kuomintang will lose their military adviser here in Junchow.' His voice was calm but his face was very pale. 'And you . . . No, Lydia. No. You will step into the dragon's jaws.'

She smiled up into his intense black eyes and ran a finger along the sharp line of his cheekbone. 'My love, it was from you I learned how to tweak the dragon's tail.'