Part 59 (1/2)

'My father killed himself because of opium.'

Theo was shocked. To hear those words come out of his own mouth. It was not something he'd told anyone before, not even Li Mei. It was as though he'd vomited up a stone that had been stuck hard in his gullet for a long time.

The young Chinese was propped up in bed. He didn't look good. His gaunt face was grey, lifeless as ash, and bruised shadows circled his eye sockets. His limbs lay loose like a puppet's at his side, but his black irises were full of some dark emotion. Theo wasn't sure whether it was hatred or fear. He had a feeling it was hatred. But all Communists hated the foreigners in their land. Who could blame them? Yet it irritated Theo that they conveniently ignored the benefits Westerners brought with them. The industries. Electricity. Trains. Banking expertise. China needed the West more than the West needed China. But it came at a cost.

When the Chinese spoke, there was an edge to his voice. 'I know this happens here in China. Death and opium, they share the same path. But I did not think it was so in England.'

Theo shrugged. 'People are the same wherever they live.'

'Many fanqui fanqui think otherwise.' think otherwise.'

'Yes, that's so, and my father was one. He believed with all his soul in the supremacy of the British, and of his own family in particular.'

'Grief hides in your words. An ancestral shrine for him in your house would honour his spirit.'

'There's my elder brother too.' The words kept flowing now that the stone was dislodged.

A shrine? Why not? Every Chinese home had one to keep the ancestral spirits well fed and happy. Why shouldn't he? Except of course he might not have a home much longer, and he had a nasty feeling prisons didn't go in for that kind of thing.

'He was handsome, my brother Ronald. Had everything. A Cambridge blue and the pride of my father's heart.'

'Your father was fortunate.'

'Not really. Papa gave over the family investment business to him, but it all went belly-up. My brother started on opium to help him sleep at night and . . . Well, it's the old story. He bankrupted the company and defrauded clients to cover it. So . . .'

Theo silenced his tongue. He could not understand why these memories had surfaced now. He thought they were dead and buried. Why now? Why to this Chinese Communist? Was it because, just like his father before him, both he and Chang An Lo faced the ruin of all their hopes and plans for the future?

'So?' Chang prompted quietly.

Theo reached for a cigarette but he didn't light it, just twisted it between his long fingers. 'So . . . my father took his shotgun. Killed my brother. In his office, sitting at his desk. Then blew out his own brains. It was . . . frightful. Awful scandal, of course, and Mother took an overdose of something nasty. After the funerals, I came out here. That's it. Ten years and I'm still here.'

'China is honoured.'

'That's a matter of opinion.'

'I'm sure it is the opinion of the beautiful Li Mei.'

Theo wanted to believe him.

'I would ask a question, please?' Chang said.

'Go ahead.'

'Are problems of mixing a European and a Chinese very great? In your world, I mean.'

'Ah!' Theo ran a hand over the minute hand-st.i.tching on the Chinese gown he was wearing. He felt a sharp tug of sympathy for the young man. 'To be brutally honest, yes. The problems are b.l.o.o.d.y huge.'

Chang shut his eyes.

Theo patted his shoulder. 'It's d.a.m.ned hard.'

53.

This time the cold was like a sh.e.l.l around her. She pecked at it, picked at it, sc.r.a.ped her nail along it, but it wouldn't crack. Her mind couldn't understand why. It struggled. Grew weary. The organs of her body were shutting down, she could feel them inside her, one by one, going to sleep. Abandoning her. The cold. They hated it. It was only when she became aware of a sudden warmth between her legs that she woke up.

Her eyes opened. To total blackness. She tried to churn her thoughts into action, but all they wanted was sleep. Where had all this blackness come from?

Things came to her in bits and pieces. A pain in her leg. Her head sore and her cheek on something hard. Icy skin. Her knees up under her chin. Gradually it dawned on her that she was lying on her side curled up in a tight ball. Her hand risked stretching out into the darkness but it couldn't reach far because there were cold metal walls all around her. Her heart thundered in her ears.

Where was she?

She tried to sit up. It took three attempts. And when she'd done it, she felt worse. Not because of the pain in her leg that felt as if someone had kicked it. Nor because her head started to spin inside a crazy kaleidoscope, lights flas.h.i.+ng behind her eyes, reds and blues and fierce brain-searing yellows. No, it was because she touched the ceiling one inch above her head and knew where she was. She was in a box. A metal box.

They put me in a metal crate.

Three months, perhaps more.

Chang An Lo's words.

Her stomach spasmed with fear and she vomited, sour acid in her throat. It sprayed over her knees, and the sticky warmth of it recalled to her sluggish mind the earlier warmth between her legs. Her fingers explored along the metal base under her. It was wet. She had peed.

Her mind went white. She started to scream.

She was fighting her way through cobwebs. They stuck to her eyeb.a.l.l.s, and a spider with a red speckled body and yellow pincers ran up inside her nostril.

She opened her eyes. And immediately wished herself back in the spider nightmare again. This was worse. This was real. Her body struggled into a crouching position and her hands inched along the four walls to discover the dimensions of her miniature cell. Long enough to sit up but not to straighten her legs, wide enough to touch both walls with her elbows at the same time. An inch of headroom when she was seated in a hunched sort of position. She then examined her own body. Her knees. They smelled. She remembered the vomit. The stink of stale urine scored the membranes of her nostrils, a lump on the back of her head, and high on her left thigh another one the size of a saucer. But no broken skin. No broken bones. No missing fingers.

It could be worse.

How? How in G.o.d's name could this devil's rat hole possibly be worse? How?

She could be dead. Think of that.