Part 49 (1/2)

”No?” The word registered a profound mistrust

”I know you don't believe that but if s true. Or was true. Now we can all go back” Banton laughed bleakly. ”You think a lot of yourself, Kim Ward.” ”You used to think a lot of me.”

”Well, maybe I was wrong. Maybe we were all conned by you.”

”Is that what you think?”

Banton looked away, his expression sour.

Kim shrugged, then sat beside him, offering him the comset ”Do you want to see what I've been doing?”

Banton met his eyes, then looked down at the comset ”What is it?”

”The thing I promised you. The door between the universes.” Banton laughed. ”How do I know if s real? For all I know if s some elaborate computer simulation.”

”You don't But if you want, you can come with me and try it We're testing it a few days from now.”

”Testing it? You mean, like stepping through it?” ”Flying, more like. But yes. Into a different world. Like this world, but different” ”With stars in it, you mean.”

Kim nodded, then. 'Is that what bothers you most? The lack of stars?”

”Thaf s part of it. But if s in here ...” Banton touched his forehead. ”Thaf s where it's darkest If s like ...”

”Like what?” Kim coaxed, his voice quiet now.

”Like I don't exist. Like none of us exist... or that we only think we exist This life ... it's like a dream. No motion, no stars, no sun or moon. Even the City was better than this.”

Kim let out a long breath. ”Yes. I can see that... But things will change now. I promise you.”

”You promise?” Banton stared at him a moment, then shook his head, his former bitterness returning. ”And you think this is the answer?”

Kim shrugged. ”I don't know. But I plan to find out. Now will you come with me, or will you languish here in this cell?” Banton laughed. ”If s not much of a choice, is it?” Kim stood, leaving the comset on the bed where Banton might look at it. ”No. But it's better than the choice you'd have given us.” He walked over to the door and rapped on it with his knuckles. ”Think it over. I'll give you until tomorrow to decide.”

”And if I say no?” ”Then you stay here, Mr. Banton. Until the s.h.i.+p's ready.”

”The s.h.i.+p?”

Kim nodded, even as the door hissed open once again. Kan-stood there, barring the way in case Banton tried to make his escape, but Banton did not even get up from his bunk.

”Thaf s right,” Kim said, as he stepped outside then turned, looking back inside. ”Either you're with us or you're not And if you're not, you can leave. We'll give you your own s.h.i.+p and supplies to last you a lifetime. And then if s up to you.”

Kim saw the shock on Banton's face, but even as the man made to respond, the door slammed shut again. In the cruiser heading back to Fermi, Karr turned in his seat to speak to Kim.

”You're too soft,” he said. ”He'd have killed you in your bed. Cut your throats, you and Jelka both.”

”Maybe,” Kim said thoughtfully. ”Yet he's still a man. Besides, the faulf s not his.”

”Not his?” Karr snorted his disbelief.

”No,” Kim said, insistent now. ”This is an unnatural life. The G.o.ds know it is. So be soft, Gregor. We are not dealing with DeVore here, but with frightened people. Banton spoke of a darkness in his head. I know that darkness. I lived in it for many years.”

Karr made to speak again, then stopped. ”Okay,” he said finally. ”But we do not release them. Not yet And not without guarantees.” ”Guarantees?” Kim laughed, then, relenting, reached out to hold Karr's shoulder briefly, his small, childlike hand dwarfed by the gianfs heavily-muscled stature. ”We are beyond guarantees, Gregor. It's a looking-gla.s.s world out there and we had best get used to it” ”You think we can?”

It was Dcuro who had spoken. Kim turned, looking across at him. ”You talk of Banton being frightened,” Dcuro went on. ”Well 7 am frightened by this. I am used to making holes and taking risks, but this scares me.” ”I agree,” Chen said, from where he sat in the co-pilof s chair. ”We are talking of something we know nothing about. You talk of knowing the equations, Kim, but do you also know the rules? Or is it all guesswork?” ”We'll learn,” Kim said.

”And if we don't?”

”We'll learn. I'll learn for you. Thafs my purpose.”

That certainty - a certainty that had been absent this last year - calmed them.

Karr, in the pilof s seat, nodded, then smiled. Beside him, Chen grinned. ”Okay, but Gregor's right Let us keep the ringleaders under lock and key until things are much clearer. Until we've some rules.” ”Absolutely,” Dcuro said, with a nod of his head. ”We need rules, Kim.

Especially now. You can't make holes in things without also making rules.”

Kim looked about him, then shrugged. ”Okay ... okay, I hear what you're saying. But lef s not lose sight of what we're doing here. Remember what Tuan said. This is a war. A war to determine our ultimate direction. And we must take risks. It is not death we should fear but resignation. That has been our enemy. It is that which has undermined us this last year. But now we are free of it. Now we can move forward once again.” ”Maybe,” Ikuro said, articulating the doubt they all still felt. ”But I would still be happier if there were rules.”

Later, back in his study, Kim found himself thinking about the uncertainties the others had expressed. If he was to be honest with himself, there was every reason to be frightened; after all, no one had ever punched holes in reality before, not unless one counted the folding-s.h.i.+p DeVore had brought from Charon, and he wasn't totally sure whether that had breached the barrier or, like them, had merely shunted itself into no-s.p.a.ce.

Even so, what he personally felt was not fear but genuine elation. They had kept the gateway open for almost twenty minutes before they'd killed the power. Stable as it seemed, however, they had not as yet sent anything through. They had not tested it And what good was a door unless one used it, unless one stepped beyond the threshold?

Karr had wanted to, of course, but Kim had not let him. If anyone was going to test the gateway, it would be himself. But first he needed to get the F-s.h.i.+p, as he now called it, right.

So that was his next task. To redesign the s.h.i.+p. Kim sat forward, stretching out his hand to take a sheet of paper. Yet even as he did a piece of hardened paper materialised on the desk before him. He blinked. The writing on it was in his own. ”Kim,” it read, ”It seems I am ahead of you, but now we can work together.”

A variant on the equation followed. Kim stared at it, then realised with a start that it was a s.p.a.ce-time coordinate.

He laughed. That was where he was! - where his other self was! He hesitated, then, taking a stylus, wrote, ”Should I come to you?' Kim pushed the paper away slightly, repositioning it, then watched it vanish before his eyes. He waited, expecting it to reappear, then heard a noise behind him.

He turned, then caught his breath. The other was there, not shadowy this time, but real - as solid as himself.

”Come,” the other said, holding out his hand. ”You only have to take my hand.”

CHAPTER-19.

DEAD GROUND.

The sunlight, slanting in over the flanks of the mountains, drew stark dividing lines between what could be seen and what was mere blackness. Crisp, curved lines delineated where the land seemed to fall into an abyss, a great pool of blackness that was like the liquid pupil of some giant eye. Looking out across it from where she stood, high on the mountain's upper slope, Emily felt a small thrill of recognition. Taking a deep breath of the cold, pure air, she pulled her furs close, then walked on, her booted feet trudging crisply through the virgin snow.

Just below her, the snow gave way to bare rock. Climbing down, she found herself thinking over what had happened in the night The business between Daniel and the girl was tricky. Siri would have to be watched. Nor would it make sense to keep her in Daniel's squad any longer, disruptive as that would be. But so it was.