Vol 1 Chapter 3 (1/2)

CHAPTER 3

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Rei felt his consciousness slowly return, as if rising back to the surface from deep beneath the water, and his eyes popped open as he woke. “………”

He experienced a sudden flash of awareness—but despite finally being wake, he continued to lay on his back, staring blankly ahead at the darkness before him with no thoughts clouding his mind.

He hadn’t the faintest clue where he was, save that it was dark all around, making it difficult to discern his surroundings. But his eyes slowly adjusted to the low light until he could faintly make out a ceiling—one, he realized, that was not quite the ceiling he was familiar with.

His body felt heavy—and strangely enough, a bit refreshed as well.’What…happened to me?’ And where was he? But just as he was wondering these things—

“Moooorning~! You awake?”

“……?!” With the voice suddenly calling out to him, the lamp on the side table sparked to life, sending Rei whirling around in surprise to face the direction from which the voice had come.

There he saw someone with features remarkably similar to those of Sena Seiya, the man Rei cherished over all others—but a young man, the Sena family’s eldest son, Sena Shougo. Taking in the bright grin Shougo was favoring him with, everything came back to Rei all of a sudden.

The fact that he’d been masturbating on Seiya’s bed, how Shougo had caught him at it, and…how he’d wound up subsequently sleeping with Shougo.

All of the blood fled his face in an instant—what had he done?! Distraught as he might have been to be caught masturbating, he couldn’t imagine how he’d let himself get so carried away as to go all the way like that with Shougo.

He’d ruined everything now. It was over.

He’d dared to lay a hand on Seiya’s—on his employer’s own child. There was no way he would be able to stay in this house any more. h.e.l.l, he’d probably be fired for the impropriety as well.

’I won’t…be able to stay by Seiya’s side any more…’ This realization shook him so fiercely that he was less saddened by the news…and more in a state of blank shock.

Perhaps sensing Rei’s distress, Shougo peered down into his face, his own expression curious. “Hey…what’s wrong? You look sad…”

The thoughtless optimism in his voice snapped something inside of Rei. “…How can you ask that?!” He stood angrily from the bed, leveling a sharp glare at Shougo. “Just look at what I’ve done with Seiya-san’s own son… I can’t possibly stay on with SenaPro any longer!”

Shougo c.o.c.ked his head to the side, clearly confused at Rei’s shout, tinged with what could only be described as sorrow.

“What you’ve done…wait, you mean the s.e.x?”

“Of course!” At Shougo’s careless comment, Rei nodded with a bitter expression on his features.

“…But, why? s.e.x is just a casual form of communication, after all! Like—you know, just a way of greeting someone,” Shougo explained lightly as he dragged himself sleepily from the bed.

’…Just…a greeting…?’ Rei gaped blankly at the unexpected response. He could wrap his mind around the concept of s.e.x as a form of communication—but while he could understand using a kiss as a greeting gesture—for someone to use use s.e.x in that manner…? He wouldn’t say he’d never heard of anyone like that—but at the very least, they weren’t all that common.

“So—I don’t see what there is to worry about!”

“D—Don’t paint me as someone like yourself! Your morals are far too loose!” he snapped unthinkingly at the still-grinning Shougo. When he paused to think logically about the situation, he supposed he should be happy that Shougo wasn’t taking this matter seriously, and yet…

“Huh? But—it didn’t seem like I was the first guy you’d ever been with; you looked like you’d been around the block a few times yourself.”

“That’s…!” Rei’s words caught in his throat at the way Shougo seemed to be almost purposefully pouting here—for Shougo wasn’t incorrect in his a.s.sumptions. “Th—that’s merely a product of my misbegotten youth, so—” But he quickly recovered, realizing he was being drawn into following Shougo’s pace in conversation. “Anyway! That’s not who I am anymore! I’ve changed!”

It was true, there had been a time when he’d slept around, but he’d left that person behind long ago—ever since meeting Seiya, ever since coming here…

He wasn’t the same man he had been before. Or at least…he’d thoughthe wasn’t…

“Whaaaat? You’re just gonna let a s.e.xy body like that go to waste? That’s the kind of thing that has you trying to jerk yourself off, because you’re all pent up! And on my dad’s bed of all places.”

Rei fell silent, struck dumb by my dad’s bed as all other words in Shougo’s comment faded away, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. After a few moments’ silence, he spoke again. “…You’re right. This is all my fault.” That’s how it was, when it all came down to it. He had no right to attack Shougo on this point; if he’d been more in control of himself, he could have avoided this whole mess. Besides, this was hardly the first time this had happened. “The fact that I harbor inappropriate feelings for Seiya-san…and that I laid a hand on a minor…is all my fault.” As he spoke, it sounded like he was reminding himself of this very fact.

“…Even though I’m the one who started it?”

Rei shook his head, brus.h.i.+ng aside Shougo’s light excuse. “That doesn’t matter! It’s like the driver being at fault when he hits a pedestrian in a traffic accident—the elder partner is the one who deserves all the blame! And on top of that, I did it with another man! There’s no way this will be taken lightly!” His voice rose in tone to an impa.s.sioned shout, until the energy fled Rei and his shoulders slumped, his face tilted down.

What was he going to do now? He hadn’t even repaid Seiya a tenth of what he owed him as his savior… But with what had just transpired, he’d have to leave this home having caused the man nothing but trouble. It was beyond pathetic. Everything had been going so well, too…

“Oh, hey!” Rei cast a dangerous glare at Shougo, who’d interrupted his self-loathing with an irritating excited shout—but Shougo didn’t quail under his gaze, merely grinned broadly. “Then all we have to do is keep this a secret! Just between the two of us! Right?”

It was the last thing Rei had expected to hear. “…A secret?” He blinked several times in rapid succession at the words that amounted to no less than a ray of suns.h.i.+ne.

“Sure; a secret.”

“You’ll…keep quiet about this, then? And…about how I feel about Seiya-san…?”

“Yup! I promise!” Shougo responded, utterly open and honest and without a moment’s hesitation, and then thrust his pinky forward. “I’ll pinky swear, even!” The suggestion was so utterly childish that Rei couldn’t help but go along with it, and as he presented his own pinky, Shougo twined them together. “~Making a pinky promise, if you break it you have to drink a thousand needles~ There we go!” At the end of the childish nursery rhyme, Shougo broke the link, and Rei stared down at his finger, allowing a soft sigh of relief to escape.

It had been nothing more than a childish symbol of a promise made, and he had no way of knowing how serious or not Shougo had been in the gesture, but…it seemed he was genuine in his vow to keep quiet on the matter.

’…I get to stay at SenaPro…’ He could still stay with Seiya… The relief that accompanied this realization nearly brought tears to his eyes, until—

“So, let’s do it again!”

“…Huh?” The tears he’d felt rising were immediately banked at Shougo’s words. ‘Again’?

“We’ve done it once, so what’s two or three times matter? I could barely hold myself back seeing how amazing you looked asleep!”

Rei could practically hear the heart mark that ended Shougo’s declaration, and he gaped blankly. Given the context, there was onlyone thing Shougo could be suggesting they do.

’Why would we do that?!’ But before he could snap as such, he realized something—maybe…he had no right to refuse Shougo on this point. Shougo had been under no obligation to promise Rei he’d keep their secret, as he’d done just now. And from what he’d learned of Shougo so far, he didn’t seem the type who felt like he ought to keep any liaisons he had with men a secret from his parents.

Which meant this was less a secret kept for both their sakes…and more Shougo having the upper hand over Rei in this matter. As he glanced over at Shougo, he took in his expression which said he hadn’t a care in the world, simply smiling broadly at Rei.

“I figured you wouldn’t like it if I just jumped you while you were sleeping, so I held back~”

“………” Rei bit back the urge to snap As well you should!. ’…Guess I’ve got no choice…’

In order to ensure that Shougo kept his mouth shut…it looked like he was going to have to go along with his whims. He released a deep sigh in an attempt to calm himself. “…All right then. But not here.” Even though he knew they were all alone in the house, he couldn’t bear to stay in this married couple’s room any longer.

“Yessir~!”

And that is how this pair began their rather strange relations.h.i.+p.

The next day

“…Ah, guess it’s about time, huh.” He silenced the alarm he’d set (just in case) on his cell phone and closed the textbook in his lap. Today was the day the rest of the Sena family would be returning from their vacation.

Seeing as it had only been the day before when he’d engaged in thatsort of activity, he was still quite exhausted both mentally and physically, but more than this, he was worried he wouldn’t be able to entirely hide the fact that something had happened between himself and Shougo. That probably explained why he’d woken earlier than usual this morning as well.

On waking, he’d headed straight to Seiya and Nagisa’s room to change their sheets and then laid out the futons to air, lastly dragging out the vacuum cleaner and giving the whole house a good cleaning in an effort to hide any evidence of their activities. After that, hoping to calm his nerves, he’d settled in to give his undivided attention to his textbook.

Shougo, in contrast, had poked his head out once early in the afternoon, searching for something to eat, before retreating back to his room for a nap. Given that he’d jumped into bed with Rei so soon after such a long journey, without pausing to rest, he supposed the exhaustion was simply finally catching up. For his part, Rei was still feeling to awkward to be around Shougo, so he actually found Shougo sleeping the day away something to be thankful for.

After finis.h.i.+ng preparations, he headed for the front entrance—before wondering if he ought to let Shougo know where he was going. In the end, though, he told himself it would be best to just let him rest, and he exited the house and piled into the car, headed for Haneda Airport to pick up the Sena family.

It would be his first time seeing them in a while—Seiya, Nagisa, and Izumi as well. When he stopped to consider the trio, he found strange feelings bubbling up. He naturally felt worried about what might happen if they found out about him and Shougo, and of course the ever-present weighty, painful feelings of his unrequited love for Seiya remained, but along with these emotions was a sense of relief at finally being reunited with them, his heart warming…

It was something completely different from what he’d felt even with his biological mother. Just as strongly as he longed to stay by Seiya’s side, he loved this family, reminding him of just how much he cherished this place he’d found with them.

’I don’t want to leave the Senas…’

And gripping the steering wheel tightly, he headed for the airport. On arriving, he consulted a building map—as he wasn’t quite familiar with the airport just yet—before heading to the arrivals lobby on the first floor. He still had a bit of time left before the family’s flight was set to arrive, so he bought a drink and settled down on a bench to kill some time. As the arrival time approached, he glanced up at the arrivals board before heading for the exit he thought the trio would use.

“Rei!!” At length, an endearing voice that could have belonged to a boy soprano piped up, calling his name. As Rei turned to face the voice, Izumi darted forward, heading his way. Well aware of how clumsy Izumi could be and fearing that he might trip and fall, Rei quickly made his way over of his own accord, scooping Izumi into his arms as the boy launched himself forward.

“Welcome back, Izumi-san.”

“I’m hoooooome~!” Rei smiled fondly at the brilliant grin Izumi flashed him. While the boy could be annoying with how clingy he was at times and drove Rei crazy with his spoiled tantrums, being bodily reminded of how thrilled Izumi was to see him after so long certainly wasn’t bad.

However…

“Hi there, Rei-kun. Anything happen while we were gone?” The one Rei was most happy to see would always be Seiya, and he stood, shaking off the thrill that had run through him at hearing Seiya’s voice for the first time in a while.

“Ah—well, Shougo-san has returned home.”

“Oniichan’s back??” His voice seemed to dance, and as Rei glanced down, he found Izumi flus.h.i.+ng happily.

“Indeed he is,” he affirmed with a nod, recalling now that Seiya had mentioned before that Izumi was terribly fond of his older brother.

“Yaaay yaaay!! Rei, let’s hurry home then!!” he urged. He must reallyhave been looking forward to seeing Shougo, and Rei supposed that despite his happy-go-lucky personality, Shougo must be a good big brother to Izumi.

“…Shougo didn’t mention a word about coming home… Good grief, that boy’s as carefree as ever!” Nagisa remarked, throwing Izumi a sidelong glance. Rei supposed it only stood to reason, given that she was an actress, but despite spending her vacation in the southern isles of j.a.pan, she still had pale skin that looked as if she’d never seen the sun.

“Well, Shougo’s a free-spirited boy,” Seiya soothed, reaching an arm around to pat Nagisa’s shoulder. It seemed neither of Shougo’s parents had expected his return either.

“Heeey, c’mon, Rei! Let’s gooo!”

Rei snapped back to his sense as Izumi tugged on his wrist. “Ah, yes of course.”

“Right—shall we head out?” Rei ducked a nod at Seiya’s suggestion, and with his hand still linked with Izumi’s, they made their way to the parking garage.

“When did Oniichan get back?”

“Yesterday.”

“How did he seem?”

At Seiya’s question, Rei groped for a response “Oh, uh…” How had he seemed? How was he supposed to answer that? Discussing what had happened between them was out of the question—but just as taboo was mentioning that he ‘d seemed like a flighty, devil-may-care, c.o.c.ky twit.

“Did he seem like he was doing well? Though knowing him, I’m sure he is.” Rei could only nod in affirmation, grateful for the lifesaver Nagisa had just unwittingly thrown him.

“Ah—yes, yes he seemed well. Though he was still asleep when I left the house earlier.”

“I see.” Nagisa nodded uncommittally, but her expression betrayed a bit of relief, and for a moment, she seemed less confident actress and more worried mother. She may have expected him to be just fine, as she’d claimed, but it was clear she’d still been at least a little concerned.

These thoughts drew Rei’s attention back to Shougo, and he swallowed a sigh. ’I wonder if he’s really intending on keeping our secret…’ And with the same unease festering in his chest as when he’d driven here, he climbed into the cab of the car.

The moment they pulled into the drive, Izumi began wiggling in his seat, and as soon as Rei opened his door, he shot from the car, headed straight for the living room.

“Oniiichaaaaaan!!”

At this cry, a sound of welcome akin to a screech sounded from within—it seemed Shougo was already in the living room. As Rei entered the living room behind Seiya and Nagisa, he found Izumi clutching Shougo in a tight hug.

“Izumi! How’ve you been?? Still as much a cutie-patootie as ever!” He returned Izumi’s hug tightly, sparing no expense in his fawning as he broke into a wide grin. Rei could do nothing more but stand there and gape in shock as the pair peppered each other’s cheeks with a hail of kisses and nuzzles.

’Wow…these two have CRAZY brother complexes…’

He’d heard that Izumi was fond of Shougo, and the display back at the airport had confirmed his suspicions, but he’d never expected this. Rei had no siblings of his own, but he was quite certain this was nottypical fraternal behavior. And yet, Seiya and Nagisa seemed more than used to this sight.

“What brought you back home all of a sudden?” Nagisa prodded, seemingly unaffected by the display.

“Well, I’m on summer break right now, and a bunch of my friends went country-hopping, so I thought it was time I dropped by again!” Shougo replied with an easy smile, settling Izumi onto his lap.

Nagisa huffed a deep sigh at his cavalier response. “You really ought to let us know when you’re coming home!” She then leveled a glare at Shougo. “You never contact us anymore while you’re over there! At least call or drop a text message now and then!”

“C’mon, lack of any letters just means I’m doing great!” Shougo didn’t seem all that cowed by Nagisa’s anger; in fact, Izumi, still seated on his lap, seemed more on the verge of tears from the exchange.

“I’m sorry, Rei-kun.”

“Eh…?” Rei blinked several times at Seiya’s comment, having been distracted by the pair’s argument.

“Must have given you a start, having Shougo appear all of a sudden.”

“Oh—no, that’s…It’s quite all right.” His voice sounded shrill with nerves as his heart leaped in his chest. ’Noooo no no, this isn’t good. Shougo’s doing a great job with playing it cool, so what good will it do me to screw this up now?’ he reminded himself firmly, then forced his strained features into a smile.

“Thanks for watching the house. The rooms look spotless.” With that, he favored Rei with a pat on the head.

“Oh—it was nothing at all…” But his cheeks relaxed at this first brush of contact in so long. In truth, he’d mostly only cleaned the rooms in an effort to cover up any evidence of what he’d done and as an act of atonement, but it still felt wonderful being praised by Seiya like this, and before he realized it, he was no longer wearing the forced grin from before, but a true, full-faced smile.

And then—

“—?”

He felt someone watching him, a gaze falling heavy over him—and turned to face the direction it was coming from. But all he saw was the living room, the same as it had ever been, with Nagisa still griping at Shougo, who was skillfully sidestepping her lectures, and Izumi—who’d been watching Nagisa with a tearful expression—still clinging tightly to Shougo with his back turned to everyone.

“…Just my imagination?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh—nothing, it’s nothing. Umm…shouldn’t we…stop them?” He jerked his head to indicate the mother-son pair.

“Ah, that’s just their way of communicating,” Seiya responded with a fond grin, and Rei nodded, still not entirely convinced but a.s.suming this was just how things worked between them.

Nagisa’s lecturing continued on from there until Izumi finally broke into tears.

I wasn’t sure about how this would go at first, but…

Dinnertime this evening was fairly normal. The only major difference tonight was the fact that Izumi seemed to be in low spirits, his eyes puffy and red from crying—the reason for which was that he’d just learned that Shougo would be going back to school the next day.

It had been nearly a week since Shougo had come home, and while Rei had initially been on pins and needles, anxious that maybe tonightShougo would come to him, intent on ‘collecting’, it seemed Shougo had plenty of friends around to keep himself occupied and would head out nearly every afternoon, hardly interacting with Rei at all.

Come evening, he could be found playing with Izumi and had even taken it upon himself to sleep with the boy, on top of it all. It almost seemed as if the whole affair would end without issue, and while he felt pity for Izumi, losing his brother again, he wouldn’t deny feeling relieved.

“So, have you decided what you want to do with your future yet, Shougo?” Seiya asked as the TV program he’d turned on (but not really bothered to watch) went to commercial.

Shougo paused with chopsticks in hand and c.o.c.ked his head to the side in thought. “Mmm, not yet really. I’m at least gonna finish college over there, I think… I can probably skip a few grades and graduate early, that way.”

Rei hadn’t been paying much attention to the conversation—but his eyes flared wide with shock at the words skip a few grades. He wondered if he’d heard correctly, but it was hardly his place to b.u.t.t into the conversation.

While he knew that some overseas inst.i.tutions allowed such things as skipping grades, Rei was quite sure it was only allowed for students who’d demonstrated particular excellence…

Seiya sighed softly. “I see… So then I guess I’m right in a.s.suming you still have no plans to enter the entertainment industry?”

“Nope; definitely not,” Shougo responded with a curt nod—an answer which came as quite a surprise to Rei. He didn’t want to offer the guy any undue praise, but anyone could see that Shougo’s outward appearance and voice were quite something. He had an aura about him that was even more ‘celebrity’ than some of the young entertainers gracing the television screen these days. There was no getting around admitting that this was what you could expect from the offspring of Seiya and Nagisa.

As such, Rei had been certain that, after graduation, Shougo would become an entertainer… But it seemed he was the only one shocked by this revelation, as Seiya donned a bitter smile and Nagisa huffed her displeasure next to him.

“I see…” His earlier words of I guess I’m right in a.s.suming had been rather telling; they’d obviously had this conversation before. “Well, I certainly hope you find your dream soon.”

Rei found those words of Seiya’s quite impactful. For Rei, who’d wasted his youth with no hopes or dreams, only finding something worth living for after he met Seiya—to work for Seiya by his side—it felt…strange, learning that Seiya’s own son had no such dream of his own.

Then, after dinner, Nagisa headed for her bathroom to start her evening ablutions in preparation for the work she had the next day, and Shougo made an attempt to cheer up the still-sullen Izumi, leaving the living room with him and likely heading to Izumi’s bedroom to turn in.

Rei found himself enjoying a rare after-dinner cup of tea alone with Seiya—their first in a while—and his heart danced with both nerves and joy at the opportunity. But in contrast to Rei’s mood, Seiya seemed a bit down.

“Um, so…are you worried? About Shougo-san?” Shougo had a bad habit of forgetting to contact his family for long stretches at a time, so it stood to reason that Seiya might feel uneasy to see Shougo head back abroad for school.

“Hmm? Oh, well…” He allowed a wry smile. “He’s a capable young man.” Many might have taken the comment as nothing more than a father praising his son, but Rei didn’t miss the strangely troubled expression that pa.s.sed over Seiya’s features. Unsure of how he ought to respond, Rei instead chose to remain silent, waiting for Seiya to continue. “Whether it’s in his studies or sports—he’s the type of boy who’s able to handle anything reasonably well with only the slightest bit of effort. But that in turn…makes it hard for him to find something worth really trying for, it seems.”

“Something…worth doing?”

— I certainly hope you find your dream soon.

The words Seiya had spoken over dinner bubbled up again in the back of Rei’s mind.

“He’s a fantastic singer, too. I’d be thrilled if he wanted to go professional, but…it seems he doesn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps.” Here, he smiled bitterly again, apparently having accepted that he had no choice in the matter. “Though I guess it’s all a matter of feelings; if there’s something else he truly wants to do other than music, then I wish him all the best of luck. I’m sure he’ll succeed in whatever he sets his mind to… I guess that makes me sound like a doting father, huh?”

“Oh—no, not at all…” Rei frantically shook his head.

“Thanks—well, I’m going to head on up to bed. And—would you mind taking Shougo back to Narita tomorrow?”

“Ah—yes, of course. …Good night.” He watched Seiya exit the leaving room before releasing a soft sigh to himself. “…So the guy’s a genius, huh…” If what Seiya had said was true…well, of course it had been true; this was Seiya, after all. Which meant Shougo hadn’t been joking in his suggestion of skipping grades. Rei hadn’t been expecting that at all, given how flighty Shougo had been in his manner of speaking.

What must it feel like…to be capable of everything—but to have no interest in anything? He couldn’t wrap his mind around it, given that he’d had nothing himself, unable to do anything.

Still, having enviable talent and living in the lap of luxury with no financial troubles whatsoever—with the only problem being a lack of choice? There were worse ways to live.

That night

Rei woke with a start at the sound of his door opening in the middle of the night, and he groped along the sideboard to turn his lamp on.

“Since it’s my last night here…I decided to drop by!”

Rei could only sigh with defeat at Shougo’s proclamation, devoid of even a hint of remorse. He was hardly here to just ‘drop by’, and hearing such a turn of phrase delivered by not a cute girl but a beautiful man such as Shougo left Rei feeling rather unsettled.

“…Everyone’s here right now; we can’t.” There was no way he wouldn’t be able to tell what Shougo had come here for, and he leveled a harsh glare at Shougo to press home the point.

“Sure we can, so long as you don’t make any sound! Don’t worry—I made sure everyone else was asleep.”

“That’s not the issue!”

“But I’ve done a good job keeping our secret! C’mon~! Don’t I deserve at least a little reward?”

“……!” Rei bit back a response, unable to speak up in the face of the word secret. As Shougo professed, he had indeed played his part well over the past few days, until Rei could almost believe that nothing hadhappened between them. He’d been perfect, more than good enough to make a career as an actor.

But then, Shougo had never had anything to lose from making the promise in the first place. If Rei refused him now…

“And if you think you won’t be able to control your voice, then all we have to do is stop it this!” Lost in his thoughts, Rei now glanced at the towel Shougo held out for him, eyes goggling.

“You—wait, don’t tell me you plan to gag me?”