Part 19 (1/2)

And screamed at the water.

Nate saw Frankie come cras.h.i.+ng through the kitchen and he immediately dropped what he was working on and went after her. She was running as if chased, and when she got to the end of the dock, she pitched her body forward and let out a roar of pain.He reached out for her. ”Frankie!”

She spun around, eyes wide with horror, tears streaking down her red, contorted face. ”Alex is dead. My brother is gone.”

Nate squeezed his eyes shut and crushed her against his chest.

As he wrapped his arms around her body, she fell apart, sobs wracking her shoulders until he thought her spine would snap. The sounds coming out of her were like that of an animal.

When he glanced up and saw Joy slowly coming down the lawn, looking worried, he pulled away slightly.

”Your sister,” he said softly in Frankie's ear.

Frankie pulled back, wiped her eyes with hands that trembled, and sniffled. He gave her the dish towel he carried in his back pocket while he worked.

”Frankie?” Joy's voice barely carried.

”I'll leave you two,” Nate whispered.

Frankie gripped his hand. ”No, stay.”

”What's happened?” Joy asked.

”Alex-” Frankie's voice cracked. ”Alex.”

Joy's face collapsed, her mouth, her eyes, the bones in her cheeks sagging. And yet her voice was strong when she spoke. ”Is he missing or dead?”

”Missing. But-”

”So there's a chance.”

”His boat capsized. In a hurricane.”

”And if anyone could survive that, it would be Alex.” Joy lifted her chin. ”I'm not mourning him until they find his body.”

Joy turned around and headed back for the house. Her hands were wrapped around her slender body, her strawberry blond hair lifted by the wind.

Nate looked at Frankie. ”She's strong.”

”Stronger than I am right now.” She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes grim as they leveled on the lake. ”I can't bear to lose him, too. G.o.d, why the h.e.l.l is water so hungry for my family?”

Nate put an arm around her. He wanted to tell her that it would be okay and they would find her brother. But no one except the good Lord could know what the outcome was going to be. ”You want to close the dining room tonight?”

Her chest expanded as she drew a deep breath. ”No. We need the money.”

Eventually, they went back to the house and Frankie stayed in her office. When the kitchen was closed down, Nate went to her. She was staring out the window, one hand on the top of the desk, right next to the phone.

”Did we do well tonight?” she asked dully.

”Yeah.”

”Good.” She finally looked at him. ”I tried to talk to Joy, but she won't listen.”

Nate went around the desk and knelt down in front of her, putting his hands on her knees. ”You want to go upstairs?”

When she shook her head, he sat on the floor at her feet and leaned back against the bookcases.

”What are you doing?” she asked.

”I'm not leaving you.”

”I'm going to be here all night.”

”Then so am I.”

She was silent a long time.

”This feels just like the night my parents died. The waiting. The sensation of time pa.s.sing slowly, the hours stretching out as far as I can see. But at least I didn't cause this.”

Nate frowned. ”You didn't cause your parents' deaths either.”

”That's not true. I killed my mother.”

Frankie heard Nate's shocked breath and glanced at him. His big body was folded up on the floor, his capable hands resting on his knees. His face was filled with disbelief and sympathy.She was so grateful for his presence because she wanted to talk. And for the first time in a decade, she let herself.

”When business at White Caps gradually decreased, my father took up refurbis.h.i.+ng old sailboats. He'd always loved working with his hands. Alex used to help him. They did it in the barn out back. On the afternoon, my parents-” she couldn't say the word died so she kept going ”-my father just finished one and had put it in the water to take it out for a test run. A storm blew up from the north. The bad weather came on fast and hard. It does that around here in the spring.” She took a deep breath. ”We found out later that the mast had snapped because it hadn't been reinforced properly. Evidently, he'd been struck on the head and swept into the lake.”

Nate made a compa.s.sionate noise in the back of his throat.

”Did I tell you that I got into Middlebury on a swimming scholars.h.i.+p?” she said, afraid that if she stopped, she'd lose her courage. ”I was a fantastic swimmer. All State. I could swim for miles and miles and Dad said that I took after him. That afternoon, I remember looking at the waves and thinking they were high, but not high enough to drown him. Not him. Not the man who could swim for fifty yards under water. I remember thinking that if the boat had gone over, he was swimming through those waves. To an island, to the sh.o.r.e. Towards home. Back to us.”

She glanced out to the lake. ”My mother and I waited for him to come back for at least an hour. There was more bad weather on the way so she called the sheriff's patrol, but they couldn't go after my Dad. They were busy rescuing a Boy Scout canoeing trip from the storm. So she headed for my father's fis.h.i.+ng boat. It was just a tin can with an outboard motor on it. She told me to stay behind to watch Joy.”

Frankie felt dizzy as she remembered the last time she'd seen her mother's face. Those lovely, kind eyes had been full of fear as she'd headed out into the lake, but she'd been bound and determined to get her husband.

”My mother couldn't swim. I knew she couldn't swim and I let her go out in a storm, in an unsafe little boat, with only a couple of flotation cus.h.i.+ons. There was no life preserver. How much time would it have taken for me to run and get her a PFD from the house? We had them for the guests. G.o.d, I should have made her wait, I should have-” She could feel the hysteria rising in her chest.

”Frankie-”

She knew by the tone of his voice he was going to tell her it wasn't her fault and she cut him off. ”Don't. Just don't. I grew up on this lake. I knew how it behaved. It was utterly irresponsible of me to let her go.”

”But did it ever occur to you that you were not the parent?” Nate said gently. ”That your mother was protecting her child by making you stay?”

Frankie closed her eyes. ”All I know is that if I had gone, she'd be alive today. And Joy would have at least had a mother.”

”You're putting a lot of responsibility on yourself.”