Part 16 (2/2)
He came back. ”There a pharmacy around here?”
”Not open this late.”
”Grocery store?”
She shook her head. ”It's after ten.”
”d.a.m.n.”
He had a wild look on his face as he hesitated. Then he kicked the door closed and stalked over to the bed. She welcomed him with open arms.
”I'm totally into safe s.e.x,” she said, antic.i.p.ation roaring through her. ”But we don't have to-”
And then he suddenly stiffened against her. The lack of movement was a complete shock.
As she looked up, his eyes went dark, haunted. His face a.s.sumed a tortured expression, one that had nothing to do with the wanting.
What she'd been about to say was there were other ways for them to finish the evening off. Except now, all the heat appeared to have been sucked out of him. Out of the whole room.
”Nate?”
He seemed to shake himself from whatever had captured him.
”No buts,” he said hoa.r.s.ely. ”About safe s.e.x.”
He kissed her again, but it wasn't the same. Something had taken him away.
”What's wrong?” she asked.
He rolled over on to his back, tucking her into his side. His hand stroked her shoulder, but it was a restless movement.
”Nate?”
His eyes were focused somewhere across the room.
”It's all right. Whatever it is,” she said.
He finally looked at her. And she realized he was measuring her, although against what she wasn't sure.
”I'm really sorry,” he said. ”But I need to go.”
Even though she'd been undressed for the last half hour, she suddenly felt naked and pulled her top sheet around her body. ”Okay.”
He got off the bed, picked up his clothes and left.
Chapter Eleven.
N ate dropped his s.h.i.+rt and pants on the floor and paced around his room naked. It was no big surprise that he'd come unglued.
Seeing that little girl with her daddy. Having Frankie suggest they could have s.e.x without protection. And boom!...he was right back in the nightmare.He sat down on the bed, put his head in his hands, and tried to breathe.
How old would his child have been now? Three. He or she would have been three.
If only Celia hadn't ended the pregnancy. If only he'd been the rich man she'd thought he was- There was a soft knock on the door.
He pulled on some boxers. ”Yeah.”
He didn't look up as the hinges creaked. He knew who it was.
”I just wanted to make sure you're okay.” Frankie's voice was warm, concerned.
He had to give her credit. There were few women who would handle the transition from hot and bothered to cold and deserted so well.
”Are you?” she whispered.
He wasn't going to lie to her so he kept his mouth shut. Because he wasn't okay. He hadn't been okay for a while although he'd gotten d.a.m.n good at hiding it.
He felt the mattress dip down slightly as she sat next to him. She'd pulled on jeans and a long T-s.h.i.+rt.
”If you want to talk...”
”No.” Because d.a.m.n it, he was on the verge of tears. And there was no way he was going to cry in front of her. Going limp in her bed was enough of a cringer for one night.
”That's all right.” She let out a small laugh. ”I know all about keeping things inside as you've witnessed firsthand. So I'm good with silence.”
He didn't answer her, but reached out and took her hand in his. Her skin was smooth, soft. He stroked his thumb over the pad of her palm.
”You know what?” she said.
”Hmm?”
”We keep this up, we might just get to be friends after all.”
He looked over at her. She'd left her gla.s.ses back in her room. G.o.d, her eyes were lovely. So blue. A bottomless blue. He had the sudden impulse to get lost in her eyes, just let himself float away and trust that she would catch him. He opened his mouth.
Ah, h.e.l.l. He couldn't do it. ”I'm sorry, Frankie.”
She reached up and brushed his hair back. ”You've got nothing to be sorry for.”
”That's where you're wrong.”
”I don't care that we stopped. Well, I do. But I wouldn't want you to be with me if you had doubts.”
Doubts? About being with her? He'd been so into her, he'd almost said to h.e.l.l with the condom. And that was at the core of what killed him. That he'd been so tempted to throw out common sense just because he wanted her so badly.
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