Part 14 (1/2)
I looked once more at Rose. ”I'm not sure this is a good idea.”
”It is a distinctly mediocre idea,” Rose agreed. ”But the best that offers. Prove her wrong, my love, and return to me with your degree.”
Emboldened by that expression of confidence, I did it. ”Sponsor me for the University of Magic,” I told Metria. ”I will succeed despite your distractions.”
”Well, then, let's get it on,” she agreed. ”Smudge a hole in the pentacle and I'll take you there.”
I scuffed a hole in the line with my foot. Metria became smoke and curled out through that gap, reforming as a flying dragon. The dragon's huge jaws snapped me up. Fortunately the teeth were more apparent than real and did not crunch me.
”I shall return!” I cried boldly back to Rose as the dragon launched into the air and bore me away.
”I'll be watching!” she called back. I thought she meant to say ”waiting,” but realized that she had the Tapestry, so could watch me as she had before. That would surely steel my resolve, should it ever waver.
The dragon winged southeast until it reached a large lake. That was Ogre-Chobee, where the ogres had once lived, until they set out for the Ogre-Fen-Ogre Fen. Then the dragon dived. It zoomed into the water, plunging through it, and finally a new world opened out. This was the realm of the demons; the dive into the water must have been merely to mask its location, since demons could dematerialize and reappear far distant in a moment. Did that mean I had done the same? That was an intriguing notion. But it could be that there really was an entrance to the demon realm under the water.
Metria had resumed her usual human form. I know it was no more natural to her than the dragon form was; all forms were unnatural for demons. But I preferred this one.
We were standing before a large desk piled high with meaningless papers. A demon with receding hair and heavy spectacles sat there. This was odd, because demons could a.s.sume any form they chose and did not suffer from the maladies of mortals. Evidently this one just happened to prefer this unprepossessing aspect. Beside him was a name plaque: BUREAUCRAT. ”Next!” he said.
Metria nudged me. ”Enroll, pull.”
”What?”
”Yank, tug, wrench, lug-”
”Jerk?”
”Whatever. Do it.”
I faced the desk demon. ”I want to jerk. I mean enroll.”
The demon yawned, showing a gullet that extended, literally, to his feet; he was hollow. He materialized a pencil and complicated form. ”Name?”
”Humfrey.”
He made a note on the form. ”Species?”
”Human.”
One bored eye oriented on me, while the other remained on the paper. ”Sponsor?”
”The Demoness Metria.”
Now the other eye left the paper and oriented on Metria. ”Having fun again, female?”
”Well, it does get boring up there in man's land,” she said defensively.
”To be sure.” Now both eyes focused on me. ”You understand that she has no interest in your welfare, Humfrey? That your candidacy will be a joke among demons? That there are simpler ways to arrange to be humiliated?”
”Yes,” I said, my mouth getting dry.
The eyes returned to the paper. ”Major?”
”Magic.”
”Are you sure?”
Suddenly I was uncertain. ”I want to be a legitimate Magician among my kind. I understand that a degree in magic from this university will qualify me.”
”Correct. Specialty?”
”Information.”
Once more an eye aimed at me. ”There are easier specialties, which are more dramatic.”
”Information is power,” I said.
”Motivation?”
”I want to become a true Magician so that I can marry the woman I love.”
The Demon Bureaucrat's hand came down bearing a stamp. It pounded the form. ”Proceed to your dormitory chamber. Next!”
”But-”I said.
One eye swiveled to cover me. ”You wish to withdraw already?”
”No. But don't I have to pay for this? Demons don't do anything for nothing.”
”You will pay.” The eye left me.
”But how will I pay? I mean-”
Now both eyes returned, momentarily. ”In the normal fas.h.i.+on. You will be entertaining us by your folly and failure. Did you expect otherwise?”
I realized that his candor was because he cared not even half a whit for my sensibilities. Everything I did here would be watched by the demons, whose greatest joy was the confounding of mortal folk. I suppose I might feel the same, if I lived for thousands of years with power to do anything I wanted and no need to eat or sleep. No, I should not have expected anything else. ”Thank you,” I said with what little dignity I was able to sc.r.a.pe up.
”Right this way, fool,” Metria said, taking me by the hand.
”But don't you need to register too?” I asked belatedly. ”You said you were enrolling.”
”I enrolled five hundred-” She paused. ”Hours ago. Now I'll get around to taking cla.s.ses.” She dragged me on.
We came to a bare stone chamber. I gazed at it, not pleased. The prospect of lying down on stone that was not bedrock did not appeal. Then Metria snapped her fingers, and abruptly the chamber had furnis.h.i.+ngs. There were curtains on the window that had not been there before-neither window nor curtains-and a plush rug on the wooden floor that had been stone, and rugs hanging on the walls, and sunlight slanting through the gla.s.s panel that was now the ceiling. In the center was a huge round bed.
”Well, let's get it on,” she said, making a flying leap for the bed as her clothing misted away. She bounced, and her bare flesh bounced approximately in unison.
”Get what on?” I asked with greater naivete than I felt.
”Get your clothing off, and I'll show you.”