Part 36 (1/2)
She'd lived with this truth for years, but hadn't thought about it. When she was eighteen, having children had seemed so far away and unreal that it hadn't affected her, not with everything else she'd had to deal with at the time. And then, she'd been so angry and hurt that she couldn't even comprehend raising a family in such a violent and brutal world.
But now, for the first time, she felt a wave of loss. She wasn't ready for a family now-but even so, she'd never have the chance to have one in the future.
”I'm sorry,” she said.
Sean turned her face to his. ”Don't tell me you're sorry.” He kissed her hard, holding her chin, his hand shaking. ”Just, don't.” His voice cracked. ”I love you. That will never change.” He kissed her again.
Lucy held on to Sean. With him, she felt not only strong enough to handle anything, she knew she'd be okay in the end. He was a rock, he didn't budge, he gave her exactly what she needed even before she knew that she needed anything. In Whitney's apartment, he had been an unmoving tower of strength, but didn't coddle her or try to protect her from the cruel truths in Whitney's drawings or writings. He understood without her telling him that any personal emotions would have undone her, so he let her do what had to be done. And afterward, he was still there, ready to listen or just hold her hand.
”You're pretty amazing, Sean Rogan,” she said.
”So I've been told many times.” He kissed her again, then pulled her to her feet and gave her a tight hug. ”You're pretty incredible yourself, Lucy Kincaid.”
”So I've been told,” she said with a smile.
They stood there in the middle of the hotel room holding each other, neither wanting to let go. Lucy felt a peace she couldn't voice, but didn't have to.
Several minutes later, she kissed him. ”We really should go.”
They grabbed their bags and left the room. In the elevator to the lobby, Lucy said, ”Is there a route home that goes over the water instead of under it?”
”Already programmed into my GPS.”
”Thank you.”
”The route goes through Staten Island.”
”Okay.”
”You were upset last night about Dennis Barnett.”
”The interview was hard on him, and he didn't have anyone to support him afterward. And now Wade is out of prison, but Dennis can't go see him. And then there's Whitney Morrissey still out there.”
”Want to stop by? Check up on him?”
”Suzanne sent NYPD over. He's fine.”
”Do you want to stop by?”
”Do we have time?”
”We'll make time.”
Wade tried to focus on an ESPN interview with the Yankees coach about the upcoming season, but even baseball couldn't get his mind off Whitney and all the women she'd killed.
He didn't care what the FBI agent said; he blamed himself. He had been so d.a.m.n selfish and blind to who she really was, but thinking about her behavior now, all the signs had been there.
He'd been a fool to sleep with her after Alanna died. He did stupid things when he was drunk.
His cell phone rang. He almost answered it, but Agent Hansen shook her head and took the phone from him.
”Wade Barnett's residence.” A moment later, she handed it to him. ”He says he's your brother Dennis.”
Wade smiled and took the phone. ”Denny. Hey, I'm glad you called me back.”
”Whitney is here and she hurt Mom,” Dennis whispered. ”She wants you to come right now with no one else.”
Another voice came on the line. ”Come alone, no police, or your r.e.t.a.r.ded brother will die.”
Dennis whimpered on the phone.
Wade discreetly glanced at Agent Hansen. She was looking at the view from his window. How much attention was she paying to his conversation? ”Sure,” he said cheerily. ”I can do that.”
Whitney gushed, ”I knew you would come. I love you so much, Wade. It hurts how much I love you. Hurry.”
The line went dead.
Wade looked around his twelfth-floor apartment. How was he going to get out without the Feds knowing? The only way was the fire escape, but could he get out without attracting attention?
He had an idea.
”Okay, Denny,” he said into the dead phone. ”I'll talk to the FBI and I'm sure they'll let you visit. I'll call you back. Love you, too.” He put down his phone. ”Agent Hansen, do you think my brother could come over for dinner tonight?”
She said, ”I don't see why not, but I'll clear it with Suzanne when she calls in.”
”Great. Do you mind if I put on some music?”
”Not at all.”
THIRTY-TWO.
Sean turned into the exclusive Staten Island neighborhood of Todt Hill, where Dennis lived with his mother. Lucy hadn't expected the sedately grand homes mixed with trees and gentle hills so close to the towering buildings of Manhattan, and the sprawling development in Brooklyn. She liked it here.
”Thanks for avoiding the tunnel.”
”It was truly a feat of engineering.”
”It's just plain creepy. Aren't you scared of anything?”
”Scared?” he said with mock indignation.
”Bad choice of words. You know what I mean.”
”Prison. I didn't like the door closing and locking behind me at Rikers and I was even free to leave.”
”Most normal people are scared of prison.”