Part 19 (1/2)

”Yes. I was angry when I found out, yet also pleased to keep my life.

I learned much of myself when I thought I was to die.” Hovan looked down at Steve, into the man's troubled eyes. ”I learned that I was stronger than I thought, ruhar, and I also learned the limits of my strength. I could not bear the burden of the Decision you must make.

That it is asked of you shows you can bear it.”

Tarlac had to smile at that. He felt himself no equal to Hovan's calm strength, but it was rea.s.suring to know Hovan had that kind of confidence in him. ”I think I'd rather have that choice to make.

Dammit, Hovan, I've had to order people mindprobed, others killed, and that was bad enough. Those were criminals. How can I tell innocent people something that'll disturb all of them and probably kill a lot?

That's genocide, as surely as what the Empire'll do if I fail.”

”Are you sure that will happen?”

”How can I be sure? I'm a Ranger, not a G.o.d--but I know how it affected Kranath, how it affected me. There's a chance it wouldn't hurt, I guess--Traiti might not believe me. That might cus.h.i.+on the shock, let 'em realize gradually that it is true.” He paused, feeling the dilemma. ”Do I have the right to take that chance, though? Just a few words . . .”

It was difficult for Hovan to remain outwardly impa.s.sive, hearing the strain in the man's voice. Inwardly, it was impossible. By all the Lords, Hovan thought angrily, this was wrong! Why should Steve be given such terrible responsibility for a people with whom his own were at war? Steve didn't even know what Kranath's Vision meant!

He wasn't supposed to help in the Decision at all, not give even the slightest hint of what he thought was right, and he had no intention of doing so--but every youngling knew about Kranath's Vision and its significance; there could be no harm in telling Steve that much.

”Steve, ruhar . . .”

Tarlac looked up. ”What is it?”

”A story of the end times, ruhar, when all hinges on one man, for good or ill.”

”Me. I've known that since before I landed on Homeworld. So what? It looks like whatever I do, Traiti die.” Tarlac was being rude and knew it, but he didn't particularly care. He was too caught up in an awful private vision of Ch'kara gone mad.

Hovan spoke quietly, picking his words with care. ”Yes. You have known for some time that you will bring peace or die in the attempt, and if you fail we also die. You chose that burden freely, and it does you much honor. But you have been given another burden, unasked.

Kranath's Vision, it is said, brings the end of this cycle, and he who has it will determine the next cycle, for good or ill. That is you, ruhar . . . and I am sure you will--”

”Will what?” Tarlac interrupted bitterly. ”I thought it was bad enough, trying to take the Ordeal and bring peace. Now I'm supposed to start a new era, and avoid racial insanity, too?”

Hovan shook his head sadly. ”I can say no more, Steve, except-- remember always the purpose of the Ordeal.”

”Purpose. Yeah. Only I'm beginning to think there is no purpose.

This whole d.a.m.n thing's impossible.”

But Hovan's words roused Tarlac from his exhausted depression and made him think, with all a Ranger's problem-solving acuteness.

Start with one thing: Hovan had told him the Lords didn't ask the impossible, and his experience as Kranath confirmed that. They might ask things just short of impossible, but anything they asked could be done.

All right. That meant there was a solution; he just had to find it.

Hovan hadn't stated as a fact that Kranath's Vision would bring the end of this cycle, but that idea gave him background he needed.

Wait a minute. It couldn't be a coincidence that the Vision and the cycle's end came together--but it also couldn't be the cause-and-effect relations.h.i.+p Hovan seemed to think. The cycle had already ended, ten years ago, when the Empire and Traiti had first met. The Traiti were no longer isolated, whatever happened.

And he'd already accepted responsibility for determining the new cycle, by agreeing to the Ordeal. If it was death, he'd share it. If it was peace, the Traiti would be exposed to Imperial culture, and he'd help them make the best synthesis they could of it and their own.

That simplified things again, to whether or not he should tell them of their origin. And it brought up what had to be the real consideration.

Did he have the right--was it honorable--to deny the Traiti knowledge of their heritage? Whatever the consequences?

Put that way, the answer was obvious. He did not.

Hovan had given him that answer, before either of them knew the question, the day they'd landed on Homeworld. Tarlac remembered asking, surprised, if the unworried-seeming civilians knew how the war was going, and the reply was apt here too: ”Such things must in honor known be.”