Part 10 (1/2)
Tarlac put it on, seeing immediately that his badge was already pinned to the s.h.i.+rt. Wearing something other than a uniform felt strange--he hadn't worn anything else in public since the war started--but one uniform certainly wouldn't last forever, and he still didn't know how long the Ordeal would take. Or what it consisted of.
The clothes fit well, though sleeves and trouser legs were a good ten centimeters too short by Terran standards. Apparently it was good style in Ch'kara, though, since Hovan's fit the same way. Tarlac's gun wasn't there, probably in storage with his uniform; instead, he'd been given a knife very similar to the one he'd used in the challenge match aboard the Hermnaen. ”I gather you borrowed these from a youngling?”
”Yes. And Sandre them tailored, you to fit. Now come. Food ready for you is, then I must your education begin. Much there is you have to learn, before you the Ordeal begin.”
”Such as?” Tarlac asked. Maybe he'd finally find out what he'd gotten himself into.
”Forestcraft, of course, and--” Hovan broke off. ”By the Lords! I never did you tell, even of the parts I now can. I must your pardon ask.”
They were out of the infirmary, walking down a wide tapestry-hung corridor. ”You've got it, if you'll tell me whatever you can.
Wilderness survival is part of it?”
”Yes, and you know not this world's life. Then there the Vision is, if you one granted are, and you of the Scarring know.”
”Yeah, I hurt just thinking about that part. It's in that order?”
”It may be, yes. The first it not my place to discuss is, and the Scarring always last is. The other three parts may in any order be. I cannot you of one of them tell, because it would by foreknowledge influenced be.”
Tarlac could understand that, though it didn't quiet his curiosity.
”At least I know more about it now than I did when I agreed to take it.”
”The Fleet-Captain you nothing told?”
”Oh, sure. He told me that according to the First Speaker, if I did take it and live, I'd be able to bring an honorable peace for both sides. That didn't leave me much choice.”
”The Lords this of you asked?” Hovan said, impressed. ”I knew that not.”
”If that's what he meant, yes.” Tarlac didn't believe in the Lords, but Hovan did; it wouldn't hurt to agree.
Hovan smiled widely. ”So you us life in honor bring. That good is.”
”If I live.” Tarlac frowned. ”Hovan . . . I don't think I will live.
I haven't thought so since I boarded your s.h.i.+p, and since the fight, I've been certain of it. This Ordeal's going to kill me.” He paused and shrugged, wondering at his own calm. ”Oh, that won't keep me from trying. Maybe just trying will be enough to do what the First Speaker said, I don't know. h.e.l.l, I don't even know how I'm supposed to bring peace if I do live!”
”Since the Lords this asked,” Hovan said calmly, ”you should not so many doubts have. They nothing ask unless it possible is. And after you the fight won, I certain am that they intend not for you to fail.”
”I won the fight by a trick,” Tarlac said bleakly. ”I won't live through the Ordeal by a trick.”
Hovan stopped and took Steve by the shoulders. ”Why did you not all this say when it first you troubled? I your sponsor am.”
”I couldn't. It was something I had to come to terms with by myself.”
Tarlac found himself suddenly wis.h.i.+ng he had mentioned it that night, had given in to his urge to seek comfort. ”I . . . I've been a Ranger for fifteen years, Hovan. Almost half my life. I just . . . I couldn't--”
Hovan shook him with controlled ease, just enough to silence him. ”You of Ch'kara now are, Steve, and in-clan. Yourself be, not another's image. That not a weakness is.”
”What? I--”
”To me listen, ruhar. Everyone help needs, sometimes. That does not weakness show, or shame bring.” Hovan released Steve's shoulders, and put his arms around the man instead, giving Tarlac the feeling of being held by something with the weight and patient strength of an oak tree.