Part 18 (2/2)
”Very true, but there's the worst part in the man's character: he knows that he is not allowed to take his wife to sea, and, in consequence, he never says she _is_ his wife, or presents her on sh.o.r.e to anybody. If any of the other captains ask how Mrs To is to-day, 'Why,' he replies, 'pretty well, I thank you,' but at the same time he gives a kind of smirk, as if to say, 'She is not my wife;' and although everybody knows that she is, yet he prefers that they should think otherwise, rather than be at the expense of keeping her on sh.o.r.e: for you know, Peter, that although there are regulations about wives, there are none with regard to other women.”
”But does his wife know this?” inquired I.
”I believe, from my heart, that she is a party to the whole transaction, for report says, that she would skin a flint if she could. She's always trying for presents from the officers, and, in fact, she commands the s.h.i.+p.”
”Really, O'Brien, this is not a very pleasant prospect.”
”Whist! wait a little; now I come to the wind-up. This Captain To is very partial to pig's _mate_, and we have as many live pigs on board as we have pigs of ballast. The first lieutenant is right mad about them.
At the same time he allows no pigs but his own on board, that there may be no confusion. The manger is full of pigs; there are two cow-pens between the main-deck guns, drawn from the dock-yard, and converted into pig-pens. The two sheep-pens amids.h.i.+ps are full of pigs, and the geese and turkey-coops are divided off into apartments for four _sows_ in the _family way_. Now, Peter, you see there's little or no expense in keeping pigs on board of a large frigate, with so much pay-soup and whole peas for them to eat, and this is the reason why he keeps them, for the devil a bit of any other stock has he on board. I presume he means to _milk_ one of the _old sows_ for breakfast when the s.h.i.+p sails.
The first thing that he does in the morning, is to go round to his pigs with the butcher, feeling one, scratching the dirty ears of another, and then he cla.s.ses them--his _bacon_ pigs, his _porkers_, his _breeding_ sows, and so on. The old boar is still at the stables of this inn, but I hear he is to come on board with the sailing orders; but he is very savage, and is therefore left on sh.o.r.e to the very last moment. Now really, Peter, what with the squealing of the pigs and his wife's piano we are almost driven mad. I don't know which is the worst of the two; if you go aft you hear the one, if you go forward you, hear the other, by way of variety, and that, they say, is charming. But, is it not shocking that such a beautiful frigate should be turned into a pig-sty, and that her main-deck should smell worse than a muck-heap?”
”But how does his wife like the idea of living only upon hog's flesh?”
”She! Lord bless you, Peter! why, she looks as spare as a shark, and she has just the appet.i.te of one; for she'll _boil_ a four-pound piece of pork before it's well put on her plate.”
”Have you any more such pleasant intelligence to communicate, O'Brien?”
”No, Peter, you have the worst of it. The lieutenants are good officers, and pleasant messmates; the doctor is a little queer, and the purser thinks himself a wag; the master, an old north-countryman, who knows his duty, and takes his gla.s.s of grog. The mids.h.i.+pmen are a very genteel set of young men, and full of fun and frolic. I'll bet a wager, there'll be a bobbery in the pig-sty before long, for they are ripe for mischief. Now, Peter, I hardly need say that my cabin and everything I have is at your service; and I think if we could only have a devil of a gale of wind, or a hard-fought action, to send the pigs over-board and smash the _piano_, we should do very well.”
The next day I went on board, and was shown down into the cabin, to report my having joined. Mrs To, a tall, thin woman, was at her piano; she rose, and asked me several questions--who my friends were--how much they allowed me a year, and many other questions, which I thought impertinent; but a captain's wife is allowed to take liberties. She then asked me if I was fond of music? That was a difficult question, as, if I said that I was, I should in all probability be obliged to hear it; if I said that I was not, I might have created a dislike in her. So I replied that I was very fond of music on sh.o.r.e, when it was not interrupted by other noises. ”Ah! then I perceive you are a real amateur, Mr Simple,” replied the lady.
Captain To then came out of the after-cabin, half-dressed. ”Well, youngster, so you've joined at last. Come and dine with us to-day: and, as you go down to your berth, desire the sentry to pa.s.s the word for the butcher; I want to speak with him.”
I bowed and retired. I was met in the most friendly manner by the officers and by my own messmates, who had been prepossessed in my favour by O'Brien previous to my arrival. In our service you always find young men of the best families on board large frigates, they being considered the most eligible cla.s.s of vessels; I found my messmates to be gentlemen, with one or two exceptions, but I never met so many wild young lads together. I sat down and ate some dinner with them, although I was to dine in the cabin, for the sea air made me hungry.
”Don't you dine in the cabin, Simple?” said the caterer.
”Yes,” replied I.
”Then don't eat any pork, my boy, now, for you'll have plenty there.
Come, gentlemen, fill your gla.s.ses; we'll drink happiness to our new messmate, and pledging him, we pledge ourselves to try to promote it.”
”I'll just join you in that toast,” said O'Brien, walking into the mids.h.i.+pmen's berth. ”What is it you're drinking it in?”
”Some of Collier's port, sir. Boy, bring a gla.s.s for Mr O'Brien.”
”Here's your health, Peter, and wis.h.i.+ng you may keep out of a French prison this cruise. Mr Montague, as caterer, I beg you will order another candle, that I may see what's on the table, and then perhaps I may find something I should like to pick a bit off.”
”Here's the f.a.g end of a leg of mutton, Mr O'Brien, and there's a piece of boiled pork.”
”Then I'll just trouble you for a bit close to the knuckle. Peter, you dine in the cabin, so do I--the doctor refused.”
”Have you heard when we sail, Mr O'Brien?” inquired one of my messmates.
”I heard at the admiral's office, that we were expected to be ordered round to Plymouth, and receive our orders there, either for the East or West Indies, they thought; and, indeed, the stores we have taken on board indicates that we are going foreign, but the captain's signal is just made, and probably the admiral has intelligence to communicate.”
<script>