Chapter 22 (2/2)

Not long after, Song Yuanxun heard Fang Zhaomu retching inside.

On the morning flight, Song Yuanxun had came up with countless possible reactions Fang Zhaomu might have.

He thought that he had already came up with the worst case scenario, but it was still not as awful as this.

After awhile, Fang Zhaomu walked to the door of the bathroom and shut the door properly. The sound of running water could be heard indistinctly, Fang Zhaomu was taking a shower.

He showered for very long, even longer than the amount of time he spent staring at Song Yuanxun.

Fang Zhaomu only came out at 6pm, and his clothes were very neat. When he pulled the door open, the humid air from the bathroom rushed out. Fang Zhaomu’s lips were very red. He did not look like he had cried, and it was probably because of his vomiting that caused his eyes to be red.

Song Yuanxun was watching Fang Zhaomu, but Fang Zhaomu did not look at him. Fang Zhaomu picked up the coat that was tossed to the ground during their shared passion and put it on, buttoning it up tightly.

“I’ll go first.” Fang Zhaomu said, his head bowed, and he did not ask anything more.

This time, nothing could be sensed from him.

Song Yuanxun looked at Fang Zhaomu. Fang Zhaomu’s exposed skin was red with his washing, and his knuckles seemed to be grazed.

“Have you booked a ticket?” Song Yuanxun asked him.

“I’ll book it on the way.”

“Xiaomu—” Song Yuanxun had just called his name, only to be cut off by Fang Zhaomu.

“— You should just call me by my full name.” Fang Zhaomu seemed like he did not want to say a word to Song Yuanxun. He wore his shoes, and quickly walked to the door.

He had brought a luggage that was left by the door, and it seemed like he was really prepared to spend a few days with Andrew in Seattle. Before coming, he had spent three hours packing his luggage, but he had only stayed in Seattle for less than three hours before he was going back.

Song Yuanxun could not help but run forward and pull onto Fang Zhaomu. Fang Zhaomu shrank and pushed Song Yuanxun away. He gripped the handle of his luggage tightly, and Song Yuanxun realised that Fang Zhaomu’s hand was trembling.

Fang Zhaomu’s entire body was trembling.

Song Yuanxun felt that Fang Zhaomu was unable to return alone in this state. He reached out and wrapped his fingers around Fang Zhaomu’s wrist. “I’ll send you there.”

“No need, let go.” Fang Zhaomu pushed at Song Yuanxun a couple of times, but failed to push him away, and so he raised his head.

Fang Zhaomu’s eyes were finally filled with tears, and his voice had turned very hoarse. It seemed like he was no longer able to suppress his emotions, and neither did he want to suppress them anymore.

Song Yuanxun did not let go. Fang Zhaomu must not leave his sight. He was afraid that something would happen to Fang Zhaomu.

“Leave me alone.” Fang Zhaomu had his back against the wall, and gave up struggling, pleading softly with Song Yuanxun.

“Leave me alone.” Fang Zhaomu repeated.

His tears fell onto Song Yuanxun’s hand, and slid down.

Song Yuanxun had seen people cry before. Having lived for so many years, how was it possible that he had never seen anyone cry?

However, Song Yuanxun had never knew why people would cry. He thought that crying was the most useless thing to do. If there was a problem, then they should think of a solution. Crying was weak and powerless, useless and redundant.

So it turned out it was not.

Fang Zhaomu cried, because he was sad, because he was regretful.

Out of the thousands of methods to make friends, Song Yuanxun had used the worst one; Out of the thousands of people who wanted to be friends with Fang Zhaomu, Song Yuanxun was the worst one.

Just now, Fang Zhaomu had said that Song Yuanxun had made turning on the lights feel as though they were about to be parted forever. Song Yuanxun felt that even parting forever might be better than this.

There was no way to return from death, and whoever who met with that situation could only accept it.

However, before the lights came on, Song Yuanxun could still live in his illusions, he could still dream.

Fang Zhaomu’s tears and resistance were like rocks following an avalanche, coming down one after another. After flattening all of Song Yuanxun’s luck, his unrealistic hopes, Fang Zhaomu would leave.