Part 43 (1/2)

”I recently decided to let our seasonal personnel go with a little more tact and consideration. So I call each one in only after carefully thinking over his or her work during the winter. And I've said something like this: 'Mr. Smith, you've done a fine job (if he has). That time we sent you to Newark, you had a tough a.s.signment.

You were on the spot, but you came through with flying colors, and we want you to know the firm is proud of you. You've got the stuff - you're going a long way, wherever you're working. This firm believes in you, and is rooting for you, and we don't want you to forget it.'

”Effect? The people go away feeling a lot better about being fired. They don't feel 'let down.' They know if we had work for them, we'd keep them on. And when we need them again, they come to us with a keen personal affection.”

At one session of our course, two cla.s.s members discussed the negative effects of faultfinding versus the positive effects of letting the other person save face.

Fred Clark of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, told of an incident that occurred in his company: ”At one of our production meetings, a vice president was asking very pointed questions of one of our production supervisors regarding a production process. His tone of voice was aggressive and aimed at pointing out faulty performance on the part of the supervisor. Not wanting to be embarra.s.sed in front of his peers, the supervisor was evasive in his responses. This caused the vice president to lose his temper, berate the supervisor and accuse him of lying.

”Any working relations.h.i.+p that might have existed prior to this encounter was destroyed in a few brief moments.

This supervisor, who was basically a good worker, was useless to our company from that time on. A few months later he left our firm and went to work for a compet.i.tor, where I understand he is doing a fine job.”

Another cla.s.s member, Anna Mazzone, related how a similar incident had occurred at her job - but what a difference in approach and results! Ms. Mazzone, a marketing specialist for a food packer, was given her first major a.s.signment - the test-marketing of a new product.

She told the cla.s.s: ”When the results of the test came in, I was devastated. I had made a serious error in my planning, and the entire test had to be done all over again.

To make this worse, I had no time to discuss it with my boss before the meeting in which I was to make my report on the project.

”When I was called on to give the report, I was shaking with fright. I had all I could do to keep from breaking down, but I resolved I would not cry and have all those men make remarks about women not being able to handle a management job because they are too emotional. I made my report briefly and stated that due to an error I would repeat the study before the next meeting. I sat down, expecting my boss to blow up.

”Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarked that it was not unusual for a person to make an error on a new project and that he had confidence that the repeat survey would be accurate and meaningful to the company.

He a.s.sured me, in front of all my colleagues, that he had faith in me and I knew I had done my best, and that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, was the reason for the failure.

I left that meeting with my head in the air and with the determination that I would never let that boss of mine down again.”

Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face. The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupery wrote: ”I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes.

What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”

A real leader will always follow . . .

PRINCIPLE 5 Let the other person save face.

6 HOW TO SPUR PEOPLE ON TO SUCCESS

Pete Barlow was an old friend of mine. He had a dog-and- pony act and spent his life traveling with circuses and vaudeville shows. I loved to watch Pete train new dogs for his act. I noticed that the moment a dog showed the slightest improvement, Pete patted and praised him and gave him meat and made a great to-do about it.

That's nothing new. Animal trainers have been using that same technique for centuries.

Why, I wonder, don't we use the same common sense when trying to change people that we use when trying to change dogs? Why don't we use meat instead of a whip? Why don't we use praise instead of condemnation?

Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving.