Part 21 (1/2)

”The evening was very enjoyable with Rose happily counting the money, Jane supervising the teenagers, and me enjoying the concert.”

You don't have to wait until you are amba.s.sador to France or chairman of the Clambake Committee of your lodge before you use this philosophy of appreciation.

You can work magic with it almost every day.

If, for example, the waitress brings us mashed potatoes when we have ordered French fried, let's say: ”I'm sorry to trouble you, but I prefer French fried.” She'll probably reply, ”No trouble at all” and will be glad to change the potatoes, because we have shown respect for her.

Little phrases such as ”I'm sorry to trouble you,”

”Would you be so kind as to ----? ” ”Won't you please?” ” Would you mind?” ”Thank you” - little courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life- and, incidentally, they are the hallmark of good breeding.

Let's take another ill.u.s.tration. Hall Caine's novels-The Christian, The Deemster, The Manxman, among among them - were all best-sellers in the early part of this century.

Millions of people read his novels, countless millions.

He was the son of a blacksmith. He never had more than eight years' schooling in his life; yet when he died he was the richest literary man of his time.

The story goes like this: Hall Caine loved sonnets and ballads; so he devoured all of Dante Gabriel Rossetti's poetry. He even wrote a lecture chanting the praises of Rossetti's artistic achievement-and sent a copy to Rossetti himself. Rossetti was delighted. ”Any young man who has such an exalted opinion of my ability,” Rossetti probably said to himself, ”must be brilliant,” So Rossetti invited this blacksmith's son to come to London and act as his secretary. That was the turning point in Hall Caine's life; for, in his new position, he met the literary artists of the day. Profiting by their advice and inspired by their encouragement, he launched upon a career that emblazoned his name across the sky.

His home, Greeba Castle, on the Isle of Man, became a Mecca for tourists from the far corners of the world, and he left a multimillion dollar estate. Yet - who knows - he might have died poor and unknown had he not written an essay expressing his admiration for a famous man.

Such is the power, the stupendous power, of sincere, heartfelt appreciation.

Rossetti considered himself important. That is not strange, Almost everyone considers himself important, very important.

The life of many a person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important. Ronald J. Rowland, who is one of the instructors of our course in California, is also a teacher of arts and crafts. He wrote to us about a student named Chris in his beginning crafts cla.s.s:

Chris was a very quiet, shy boy lacking in self-confidence, the kind of student that often does not receive the attention he deserves. I also teach an advanced cla.s.s that had grown to be somewhat of a status symbol and a privilege for a student to have earned the right to be in it.

On Wednesday, Chris was diligently working at his desk.

I really felt there was a hidden fire deep inside him. I asked Chris if he would like to be in the advanced cla.s.s. How I wish I could express the look in Chris's face, the emotions in that shy fourteen-year-old boy, trying to hold back his tears.

”Who me, Mr. Rowland? Am I good enough?”

”Yes, Chris, you are good enough.”

I had to leave at that point because tears were coming to my eyes. As Chris walked out of cla.s.s that day, seemingly two inches taller, he looked at me with bright blue eyes and said in a positive voice, ”Thank you, Mr. Rowland.”

Chris taught me a lesson I will never forget-our deep desire to feel important. To help me never forget this rule, I made a sign which reads ”YOU ARE IMPORTANT.” This sign hangs in the front of the cla.s.sroom for all to see and to remind me that each student I face is equally important.