Part 30 (2/2)

Martin: That's a strange one. That's just a short little piece about a guy who can't get to sleep before Christmas, and that's the kind of piece that you write and you kind of-it's real personal, so you write it alone in your office and you hand it in and go home because you're a.s.suming that people are going to say, ”How does this happen?” ”Well, look, he's tired.” You know? Then you get a phone call that says, ”We like it.” Oh, good. Okay.

Judd: How much rehearsal time goes into something like that?

Martin: Not a great deal. But there's a Sunday rehearsal, where we'll sit and discuss with the director how we like things done, and he'll say to us, ”No, it'd be better this way,” and you work out the scene. Then you rehea.r.s.e a couple times on the floor, two, three, four times. I like to do lots of takes.

Judd: What do you find funny?

Martin: There are not many things that I don't find funny. I think the Three Stooges are great, but if they're not on top of it, they're not funny. Woody Allen is fabulous, but if he's not on top of it, he's not so fabulous. There's no one kind of comedy that is synonymous with my comedy. I like physical comedy. And comedy that comes out of nowhere-unexpected twists are the most interesting to me. It gets boring if it becomes predictable.

MEL BROOKS.

(2013).

When I was growing up on Long Island in the 1970s, one thing was understood: n.o.body was funnier than Mel Brooks. Yes, we all enjoyed our Woody Allen movies and our Blake Edwards movies, but there was never any real debate: Mel Brooks was the king.

He is the original gangster of comedy. His work dates back to Sid Caesar and Carl Reiner, for chrissakes. He is the 2,000 Year Old Man. He's responsible for, at minimum, two of the top ten comedies of all time, Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. (There is a legitimate argument to be made that he is responsible for more than half of the top ten.) One could say Blazing Saddles is still the edgiest comedy ever made; screamingly funny and original, yes, but all in the service of important thoughts about race. I'm not sure it could be made again today.

I hesitate to use the word important when talking about comedy, or movies in general, but Mel Brooks is important. His movies are important. And even now, in his late eighties, he's as funny as funny gets-and a h.e.l.l of a lot quicker than the rest of us.

Mel Brooks: So, what was it before Apatow?

Judd Apatow: What was it before? It was Apa-toe.

Mel: Okay, not such a big move. I mean, people from Europe, they made really big moves.

Judd: Oh, you mean before they shortened it? I think it could have been Apatovski.

Mel: Yes, it could have been that. You have no idea?

Judd: I think it was Apatapatovski. There's this strange man that keeps sending me information about my history and I'm not even asking him to do it. He recently sent me a photo of my great-great-grandfather's cemetery plot.

Mel: Where, in the Bronx somewhere?

Judd: Brooklyn. He said, ”I just happened to go to the gravestone of your family member.” Should I be nervous?

Mel: No, there's a lot of people like that. They don't mean any harm. There's a guy that sends me stuff on my Uncle Louis. His people came from Poland. My people came from Kiev. I don't know what they're talking about but anyway, I had an Uncle Louis. My real name is Kaminsky. K-A-M-I-N-S-K-Y. Danny Kaye's name, too. A lot of talented guys named Kaminsky. I think Hank Greenberg's name was Kaminsky. Anyway, so he was telling me about my Uncle Louis, who was a zealot. He was a rabbi and a zealot in Poland. And it's where we just keep moving. We move, you know, they arrest us, and then we move. And so Uncle, Great-Great-Great-Great-Uncle Louis, my grandfather's uncle, was always getting arrested. I asked the guy, ”Well, why?” He said, ”Well, on Sat.u.r.day he would pick up a brick and break windows and they'd say, 'Louis, you know we're Protestant, we're Catholic, we're open for business. We're not Jews.' He said, 'n.o.body should be open on Sat.u.r.day.'” So I come from that stock. You can see a lot of that in me. I'm a bit of a zealot. I'm a zealot when it comes to bagels. I have never eaten-I think I've eaten two or three bagels in California and I just break into tears. It's the water.

Judd: You're not on that non-gluten kick.

Mel: No.

Judd: You're full gluten. Well, I should do this introduction of you because it's a long one.

Mel: Really? Why don't you do the highlights of Mel Brooks? Go ahead.

Judd: Well, according to this- Mel: Like the highlights of Hamlet.

Judd: Okay, ready? (Reading) ”In every medium through which entertainment could possibly pa.s.s, Mel has made people laugh all over the world.” It says here, you are one of only eleven people in history to win an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony award.

Mel: Right, I also got other awards. I have a fifty-yard dash from PS 19. I have many awards that I just don't brag about. But they're important to me.

Judd: Are they, though? Do you care? Like, do you care that you won the Oscar?

Mel: You know, when I was younger, I really did. It was thrilling. But then as you get older, you're more interested in your cholesterol.

Judd: When a bad movie wins an Oscar, do you get mad because you're like, That kind of ruins my Oscar?

Mel: No, no, no. I forgive and forget. It's not good to have a grudge against anything.

Judd: Actually, I disagree. There are a lot of reasons to have grudges. I'm mad at everyone in this room right now. This is quite a crowd we have here.

Mel: We have a good crowd.

Judd: These are fans. These are hard-core fans.

Mel: And they've washed.

Judd: Yes.

Mel: They're all clean. I'm smelling, they all smell good.

Judd: Well, our first question here-people are going to stand up and read questions.

Mel: Sure.

Judd: Steve Bugdonoff. Glendora, California. Did I say it right? How did I do with my p.r.o.nunciation?

Steve: Horrible.

Judd: Oh no. Let's hear it. Let's hear what it is.

Steve: It is Bogdonoff.

Judd: Bogdonoff, see, that is not the way anyone says that name.

Mel: You are the only one who would say Bogdonoff. We have Bogdonovich. We have ways of saying Bogdonoff. But most of us would say Bugdonoff. Even though it's your own name, I think you're in the minority. I mean it.

Steve: First of all, Mr. Brooks, thank you for this opportunity. As a longtime fan, my question is: Cla.s.sic comedy like Blazing Saddles probably couldn't be made today and- Mel: I agree. Probably couldn't. The N-word couldn't be used as frequently and spiritlessly.

Steve: Yet the film so perfectly lampoons bigotry, so my question is: How do you feel about today's standard of political correctness?

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